That's my category. All this "dating" stuff is a completely broken process for me - I am surprised it works for anyone else.

My mate selection is extremely limited, their quality is not what I want, their value system is not what I want, and even though I don't want to be single, being with them is even worse than being single. So, I stay single. Yet my expectations are not impossibly high -- at all.

Life with someone who doesn't fit with you is utter ongoing misery, and being alone is better by far.

Relationships are the most frustrating part of the world, IMO. But, truly, I stopped caring a long time ago. I've resigned, in effect. I suspect many others have said the same thing. (Until I see someone well established in a niche compatible with mine, or something definitive like that)

 

I could have wrote that in 1989. The two things I did NOT see myself doing at age 29 in 1989 was:
A) Getting married
B) Having kids (Are you kidding? I'll NEVER have kids!)

My oh my how 16 months changed all that. Once I gave up the ghost so to speak (I stopped caring a long time ago. I've resigned, in effect.) then this girl came into my life. That was 16 years ago and our relationship gets stronger with every hour I spend with her and our two children we had together.

Lesson learned: Never say never.

 

I could have written that 2 years ago as well, I had given up finding the right one and had been screwed over to the point I had no respect for women at all. Relationships were pointless and I thought all women were painted with the same brush. As a result, still being human, I started "sport dating" if you will. Although fun at the time, and made for some good stories for my buddies, it also became unsatisfying. My solution was to forget about women all together, and concentrate on what really mattered, cars and 4x4s! Somehow being "out of the game" must have made me more attractive, because I now had more interest than ever. The girl I had wanted for over 2 years started to come around, and before I knew it a first date. After that we just hung out and got along famously. I was the worst for, it can't happen to me, and the ups and downs of the relationship have actually made it stronger. I guess what I am saying is I hope you have to eat your words like I did, It only takes a moment for your life to change directions.

 

A very over used Cliche', but never the less true. I found that when one stops trying so hard to find a mate, then all of a sudden a compatable one appears. Sometimes they have been there right under your nose all along. All I know is that women seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to sensing desperation in the opposite sex. It's like your wearing human "off" spray and they smell it a mile away. When you stop trying so hard thats when it usually all falls into place. Nothing attracts a woman like confidence in ones self. (don't get it confused with Arrogance, two different things, Arrogance = "off" spray). So just be yourself and don't force a relationship if it isn't right. Plenty of fish in the sea, but sometimes you have to fish in different waters to find the right one. There goes those Cliche' again!

 

As an ex-bartendar that is responsible for two pairs of couples getting married (Hope they don't hunt me down if they divorce!) I can tell you that you're SPOT ON in this analysis. Want more dates? Quit acting like you're seeking a relationship.

 

VERY well said!! I agree with all these points! ha ha.....and to think, I find it on a TRUCK forum! LOL
and carpe_diem???

I'm SO in the same shoes! Wanna go jetskiing with me this summer?! LOL

 

I agree - never say never. I was in your boat too. Then I met my honest to goodness best friend and the amazing thing is that she was that when we were 12. We lived two hours away from each other and would see each other when we showed horses on the weekends in the summer. We'd write snail mail back and forth many times per week. I went off to college and we lost touch. Two years ago I found her via classmates and it was like we never separated.

When we were young, we never dated, just were close friends. This spring I will be making her my wife. She is the love of my life, the girl of my dreams. I spent many years saying that I'd never be loved the way I wanted to be, but today I am loved in ways that I could never have imagined. She and I are meant to be together - we only wish now that we had figured that out long ago.

I'm about to turn 36 (on 2/11) and there is no way that when I was 34 you could have told me that I was going to fall in love. No way. I just poured myself into my hobby - Fords - and kept everything else shut out. Now I still have my hobby and the girl of my dreams to smile proudly at me when a new project is complete sayin, "That looks awesome honey, lets go for a ride!"

I could go on and on... all I'm sayin' is don't give up my friend. She's out there, you just haven't found her yet. And there is a lot to be said about trying too hard - just let things happen. And don't change for anyone - let her fall in love with exactly who you are, not what you think she wants you to be.

 

I went through High School pretty easily, without a girlfriend. I had lots of girls that were friends, and I suspect that if I had opened my mouth, that I wouldn't have written that last little bit.

 

Happy early Birthday Broncoguy!

Carpe_diem , I totally agree with some of these posts. When a man tries too hard, it's a real turn off. (it gets me in a panic) Most women who are seriously looking for a man, want you to be their friend first. So be yourself, don't worry so much about impressing anyone. And make them laugh (helps a girl relax).
And unless your a real antisocial type of person, your not meant to go through life alone. There is someone out there for almost everyone.

 

Thanks, Hottie. I hope I have enough breath to blow out all 36 candles! Better do that before I have a beer.

 

You can't count sheep as friends in high school!

(Hope you're cool with that, I'm a Montana land owner living in WA state so I get my share of "Sheep Flak" )

 

Well carpe, I don't know how old you are but I be 57. Of those years, six were married. I fully agree with you about finding someone of any quality. At my age, most women have had their brains worked over by some guy and there isn't much left. I gave up years ago and now I won't accept an invite from any woman. I do just fine on my own. For you younger folks, that may sound depressive but I come and go as I please, I still go to parties, go to dinner with friends- life isn't over for me, it's just single, and I am happy with it.

 

I can't imagine being alone.It's not for me.If you are out looking for a good relationship,you are going to go through a few before the right one comes along.I got thrown from my first horse,but instead of giving up,I climbed right back into the saddle and had a great time meeting new people.The right person for me just appeared out of nowhere.I knew it the moment our eyes met.I wasn't even looking for a long term relationship,it just happened.At no time did I think one wasn't out there,but at the same time I didn't try to make something out of nothing.I just had a lot of fun while it lasted,and I didn't miss it when it was over.

 

(Other B here)
Everyone else has said the truth. I gave up and quit looking after a string of horrid "bad boy" relationships. I learned that looking for love in bars was not conducive (for me) to a good relationship.
3 staunchly single years later, what was supposed to be a brief 2-day visit to PA started a chain of events that led me straight to my husband, who is my best friend and companion.
I also said I'd never get married or have kids. Wrong on one count. Thankfully he doesn't want kids either!

 

Michelle here wants to know who the good-looking hunk in your gallery is ?

I told her it is one of the Bowery boys

She saw it last night when I was doing your avatar.