Why are Kids these days such jerks? My son is 11 and generally a great kid. Hes 5'7" and 175 pounds at 11. but the problem is that he's a gentle giant. As the "big kid" he gets picked on by all the other ages. younger kids to prove their tough and the bigger kids because he looks older than he is. I went through the same thimg but the diff was I grew up surounded by no one. so church was my only friends. We live in a town house court with a bunch of kids but my son still feels alone. I would like him too pick the biggest one and beat the s@#$ out of him but like I said he's not a fighter(plus my wife won't let him). I've talked to the kids and told them they don't have to be his friend just leave him alone but this only works for a couple of days. And from what I've seen their parents don't what they do as long as they leave them alone.

Sorry for the rant but its better than me beating them and going to jail.

 

He just needs to figure out how strong he really is.

A martial arts school is a great way to build self-confidence and dicipline. And most do not encourage fighting, but rather self defense.

 

theres not much you can do about the other kids,just make sure your son knows that its not his fault they are picking on him and reasure him that their is nothing wrong with him. its just the other kids with the prob. things like this could really mess with a kid mentally.

 

Take heart, I was the same way and was picked on while growing up. One day I had it and beat the living S*)* out of one of the kids that had been picking on me after school. I just lost it and could not take I anymore. It was amazing, because from that day on nobody picked on me, especially that jerk and his “friends” (Stoners). The amazing thing was after I finished with him I looked around and the school’s assistant principal was standing right there and told me, “Go home and come see me in the morning.” I went into his office (I was so scared, never been in a principal’s office) and all he told me was that he had been watching with the other kid had been doing to me for three months and that I should of stood up for myself earlier. That small conversation got me thinking and from that day on nobody was allowed to pick on me.

Your son will eventually have enough and will have to find a release. Just make sure that is it is a positive outlet.

 

Have him take martial arts or boxing. Boxing can be tough on the brain after a while if he does it constantly. A good martial arts school will teach him to be aware of his surroundings and maybe avoid a conflict altogether. It will help build confidence and ability. Make sure he spars with contact and learns to protect his head.

Even if he does not fight, knowing he can defend himself will be very soothing and calming.

I did not have a father to teach me how to fight and take care of myself, he does. Do not let him go through school and childhood with tons of misery from soaking up abuse.

When I was a kid, an adult just looking at you was enough to stop what you were doing, especially if you knew they might tell your mother or father. Today, there is much less respect for authority and the lack of it mostly starts at home.

Telling the kids to stop, in the end just humilates your son. They will just tease him more with things like "your Daddy is not here to defend you now, you little baby". If he is soaking up this abuse in your neighborhood, it is probably even worse at school.

If a bully beats your son to a pulp in a fight, but, comes out of it with a black eye or broken bone, chances are next time he will not start anything.

Lift weights and exercise with your son, this would be excellent bonding. Have him take martial arts. Let him know it is wrong to start a fight over words, but, if anyone lays hands on him, pushes him, or destroys his stuff they can expect a giant of a response. People do not have to like him, just respect him.

In high school I had a friend in the chess club. He was not that big, meek, not macho, and people use to call him gay all the time and really torture him with acts and words. While walking home from school a dozen or so big kids and a few jocks caught him in a middle of field with the intent of beating him up.

It was then they found out he was a black belt in karate. Most of the kids had to spend a week or more out of school recovering. I think one kid made it to the hospital, and the ones with black eyes that made it to school were pretty quiet after that and kept their mouths shut. Respect learned.

 

As a child, I was a victim of my natural families perversion, my foster families cruelty, and a very tough life. I was picked on by almost every one I met, because I was a victim, pure and simple. Victims are not something that happens, it is a degrading status we earn, all by ourselves. Had I have not learned that one lesson early in life, I would not be the man I am today.

Do not teach boxing - it is supposedly a noble sport but is really a fools game, just look how many boxers have limited brain power now. To build the character of a child, to where they learn to respect themselves you need to teach three things:

The first is LOVE. Without love, a child has a very hard time learning tolerance, and care for another. I know, I felt no love in my life for the first 15 years, and it took a LONG time to deal with that.

The second is Self Respect, which is an extension of Love - Love for one's self, to give reason to care for one's self.

The third is Discipline - a way to achieve self control, and to defend against the world.

ALL of these attributes necessary, can be taught at home, with the help of Martial Defense Arts. Find a non pretentious teacher, who will care to give gentle teaching, not some macho idiot who should have died at birth.

Big children are picked on more than most, so the love is more needed, and teach the child to be ok with themselves.

Now I spend a lot of time with kids who were victims, and show them how to deal with the fools of this world, who suffer daily from a mis managed life.

Feel free to contact me, for help with this, if you wish.

Theo

 

I agree with all of this, and one other thing that may help. Use his size for an advantage point (i know this sounds stupid), but start working out with him, get him in the gym then get him on the football team. If your school dont have one (like mine didnt), then find a very close by school that does and go there.

 

"Oh, Daniel-san. Win, lose no matter. You make good fight. Earn respect. Then... nobody bother." Mr. Myagi

It sound to me as though your son is built for judo.
Karate and Tae Kwon Do are both excellent systems, but are really designed for thinner, more flexible people. Judo is better suited for stockier, more heavily built individuals. And after he throws the bullies around a bit, they won't bother him.

Earning my black belt In TKD was one of the toughest, most rewarding things I've ever done.
And don't just enroll your son. Join him. The bonding will be treasured for life.

 

i used to be pick on when i was in 6th grade. little did they know that i was a black belt and one day during class i had enough and beat the living crap out of 3 kids at the same time. im a senior in high school and since then nobody has ever messed with me. and if they do ill try my best, i may get beat, but my self confidence always stays intact. get him to take karate, get his self confidence up and he will be fine.

 

Get him to stand up. You keep backing down, they will keep teasing him. Get up in thier face and they will back down. Bullies like victims. They back down when someone stands up to them.

 

He's had a self concious problem since he was little. Musta done something to screw him up. He'll argue and "whatever" me and my wife to death but we tell him to do the same to them and he won't. I've always said that he needs "thicker skin" but don'tknow how to help with this.

The martial arts stuff sounds good. we've been saying the same thing, just hav not done it.

Later today, after the episode that strarted this tread, he went outside and everything was fine because one kid was no longer there. he must be their leader. Devin sees this as things are now good and let the past be the past.

 

I was like that in school...I was always the quiet, fat girl that everyone picked on. Then I started just ignoring them, and evenrutally I grew out of my "fat" ( I got taller) and by 10th grade, no one picked on me anymore. I hadn't changed who I was or done anything different