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First, all of those other countries will have to take the Union Jack off their flags, stop minting the King on their currency, and declare independence from The United Kingdom. I have zero emotion one way or the other. I feel nothing towards the British Royal Monarchy. I don't love them. Nor do I oppose them. The same way that I feel nothing for any other Monarchy....... Swaziland, Japan, Thailand, Monaco...... But people in those places usually consider a Royal Family as part of their culture.
So many, many years ago, I apparently inadvertently fell into the displeasure of someone very high ranking. But, I did not do anything wrong. The way it was told to me, he was very displeased. "He looks like crap in a uniform! That guy shouldn't be allowed to wear the uniform."
A lot of guys, maybe most, love wearing the uniform. It embodies everything that they've wanted to be since they were children. And/Or they were military, and they have been conditioned to things like razor sharp creases, shirts neatly tucked in, shiny shoes, and polished brass.
I applied for The Job because it paid well for only having a high school diploma. I found out that it meant a lot. It meant that they expected people to be able to read and write. Nobody failed at The Academy because they didn't know how to shine shoes, or iron their shirts. They didn't wash out anybody for physical fitness. It was just not that important that you were big, buff, could run a 6 minute mile, or bench press 300 pounds. Heck, they even passed people who were not very good on the gun range. But the people who didn't pass, the ones that couldn't make it through the basic academy, were people who couldn't read and write. They couldn't read well enough to comprehend the course work. It's just not acceptable to write a citation, and it looks like a 10 year old's handwriting. It's also not acceptable to turn in an incident report which looked like a 5th grader was on duty. So off I went into the world, with an ill fitting presentation, to make more money than Panda Express, with full benefits. Because I could read and write at 12th grade level. Math, was not a requirement.
Little did this guy know, he was actually doing me a favor. Because he did not want people seeing me in a uniform, I started getting job assignments with unlimited overtime. All in plainclothes. It saved me a fortune in dry cleaning and shoeshines. I do have 1 set of dress uniforms and 1 set of tactical uniforms, just in case. You never know. They may decide to have me put on dress blues, and stand in line to greet The President. Or if Canada invades The USA, they would probably expect everyone to report in tactical gear.
It has been years, maybe 10 years, since I looked in the back of my locker. The uniform still fits..... with my belly hanging over the belt. But there was a problem. The uniform shoes. Brand new. Unworn. Unlaced. With the tags attached. The rubber soles disintegrated. I've never seen anything like that. But they were cheap shoes. High gloss, plastic finish. The kind that actually don't get worn except for parades, or when The King of England visits.
Now here is the good part. I contacted the shoe company. They decided to replace the shoes...... with better shoes. Free. Crazy that they would replace 10 year old shoes, and offer a more expensive shoe.
Another thing that happened today, also shoe related, was that Allen Edmonds sent me another case of shoe polish. This has been happening for years. I don't really get it. I don't understand why they do that. Every year, they ship me a case of this stuff for free. It makes no sense. Me, the guy who doesn't know how to shine his shoes, gets free shoe polish. But I've never gotten an invoice, nor had to pay them anything. Maybe it's a mistake of some sort in their computer system.
I don't know. I don't get it. But then again, shoes are not suppose to disintegrate. Especially unworn, new shoes.
I don't understand how Dr. Martens sold "for life" on their boots, either.
I can only guess that they want your business. And that they honor their advertising.
It still baffles me that you can buy a pair of shoes, and expect the company to rebuild them......... forever. Alden and Allen Edmonds both do that. You can send in your old shoes, and they will fix them. Harrison Ford liked his Alden shoes so much, that he insisted on wearing them when he filmed Indiana Jones. Allen Edmonds sends me free shoe polish.
I bought a motorcycle jacket from Appalachian Leather years ago. A few stitches were broken. They sent me a new jacket for free. Now I have 2 of those jackets. I had a shop fix the broken stitches for $10.
I guess you have to make the call. Most people don't bother with calling the company and asking.
By the way, don't ride your Peloton. There's a recall.
Don't have a Peloton. Wouldn't use it if I did. Walking is not one of the things I do well after the last accident, which is why I have a mobility scooter.
Rezvani's Latest Post-Apocalytic Monster Is a Ford F-150 Raptor Underneath
Slideshow: Called the Fortress, the 850-horsepower pickup combines Raptor underpinnings with military-inspired features, survival equipment, and a starting price of $285,000.
