Daily Laugh
Senior User
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 146
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From: Adrian, Mi U.S.A.
Daily Laugh
Daily Laugh
Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day. When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, ''We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told.'' Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life. Hillary asked ''Where is Bill's clock?'' St. Peter replied, ''Jesus has it in his office... he's using it as a ceiling fan.''
Joke of the Day is provided by: Jokes.com
Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day. When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, ''We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told.'' Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life. Hillary asked ''Where is Bill's clock?'' St. Peter replied, ''Jesus has it in his office... he's using it as a ceiling fan.''
Joke of the Day is provided by: Jokes.com
Elder User
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 839
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From: Brooklyn
Daily Laugh
OK: Here goes: There is a barber in town and this guy pops his head in the barbershop door and asks the barber: "How much longer before a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and sees three guys and replies "A hour"
The guy shuts the door and goes away.
A few days later the same guy opens the door and asks the barber again: "How much longer before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around and sees 4 guys waiting and says: "About a hour and fifteen minutes".
The guy shuts the door and goes away, again.
A few days later, the same guy once again opens the door and asks the barber: "How much longer before I can get the haircut today"?
The barber looks around and sees 5 guys and says "An hour and a half"
The guy once again shuts the door and goes away. But this time the barber dispatches one of his waiting customers to follow him to see just where this guy is going, not to come back in the same day.
The dispatched customer returns and says to the barber:
" To Your House"!:-staun :
The barber looks around the shop and sees three guys and replies "A hour"
The guy shuts the door and goes away.
A few days later the same guy opens the door and asks the barber again: "How much longer before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around and sees 4 guys waiting and says: "About a hour and fifteen minutes".
The guy shuts the door and goes away, again.
A few days later, the same guy once again opens the door and asks the barber: "How much longer before I can get the haircut today"?
The barber looks around and sees 5 guys and says "An hour and a half"
The guy once again shuts the door and goes away. But this time the barber dispatches one of his waiting customers to follow him to see just where this guy is going, not to come back in the same day.
The dispatched customer returns and says to the barber:
" To Your House"!:-staun :
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,964
Likes: 1
From: Woodruff, SC
Daily Laugh
OK here's another one.....
An old woman wakes up one morning to a loud noise in her front yard.She opens her blinds to find a gorilla climbing up a tree in the yard and instantly thinks "what should i do"as she looks through the phone book.Sure enough theres a gorilla catcher in the book and she calls him.When the gorilla catcher arrives he looks up in the tree and says no problem and gets to work.He starts by taking a ladder and leaning it against the tree along with a long pole,pulls a shotgun from the truck and hands it to the woman then pulls out the meanest,uglyest rottwiler the old woman has ever seen and as soon as the dog spotted the gorilla it went nuts.Now by this time the woman was puzzled and asked what the man was going to do."well" said the man i'm going to climb up the ladder and take the pole and poke the gorilla in the butt and when he falls that dog is trained to bite him between the legs.The woman "still puzzled"says thats all well and fine but whats the shotgun for?the man replies thats in case i fall out of the tree "SHOOT THE DOG".
Wiz
An Equal Opportunity Truck Lover!
http://www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html
An old woman wakes up one morning to a loud noise in her front yard.She opens her blinds to find a gorilla climbing up a tree in the yard and instantly thinks "what should i do"as she looks through the phone book.Sure enough theres a gorilla catcher in the book and she calls him.When the gorilla catcher arrives he looks up in the tree and says no problem and gets to work.He starts by taking a ladder and leaning it against the tree along with a long pole,pulls a shotgun from the truck and hands it to the woman then pulls out the meanest,uglyest rottwiler the old woman has ever seen and as soon as the dog spotted the gorilla it went nuts.Now by this time the woman was puzzled and asked what the man was going to do."well" said the man i'm going to climb up the ladder and take the pole and poke the gorilla in the butt and when he falls that dog is trained to bite him between the legs.The woman "still puzzled"says thats all well and fine but whats the shotgun for?the man replies thats in case i fall out of the tree "SHOOT THE DOG".
Wiz
An Equal Opportunity Truck Lover!
http://www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html
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