Ha, yes, fair enough.
The rest of my life is not as 'interesting' aside from an infrequent high speed run on a motorcycle.

 

If anyone is interested, I got the part to make the ignition back to normal.

Today I made a very successful trip to a local junkyard.
Got 3 small parts and a generic driver seat cover for $3

I got this part. I carefully pried it out with a leatherman off of a circa 2000 series Ford Focus. Looks to be same fitting part! Will install it next week when back to the van.


Also, as far as fake labelry is concerned, I think I have good compromise:

"Wallpaper Samples"

I mean, who on earth wants to steal a vehicle with THAT on it? :P

 

Take the key to a Ford dealer. They will key the new lock cylinder to your original key. I just had mine done. Cost about $100.

 

Thanks, that's a good suggestion for a destroyed ignition.
But I was able to repair mine and it's working 100% correctly again.
The thieves only really broke the part above and one part was bent, I just had to gently bend it back.