An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver's license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a license and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.





Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

 

thats a good one. where did you hear it and you got anymore?

Signed,
The Don

 

That was e-mailed to me by one of my clients. I get jokes pretty often and I post the clean ones here if I think they are good.

A got one from my sister today that was pretty good but it would probably get me in trouble if I posted it here.

Forget the ones from my twin brother, they are all X rated.

If you'd like, send me an e-mail and I will put you on my mail list.

 

i'll try that next time I get pulled over

 

You'll probably get shot Jim.

 

This is true, but I carry a 22 not much power but just my little baby that likes to ride in my truck...The police man probely like my boots and he will steal them and I be the shoeless dead man..

Hmmm do I feel a movie out of this tale??

 

Hey bubba, email them to me, we need moreto send around the work office

alfred.saurage@littlerock.af.mil

 

That was pretty good but it would never work. I got a speeding ticket last week and the state patrol dude made me sit in the front seat of the squad car. I want to drive one. I wonder how long it would take to get to 140mph.

 

not long, crown vic? its got a 4.6L doch cobra motror non super charged, but its balenced and has a chip in it 0-60 like 6or7sec
any way good one gotta tell that one to my aunt shes a state trooper

 

LOL i liked that!

 

the brand new police interceptor are supposed to have a 239hp sohc 4.6. I can't find anything that says they have the DOHC cobra motor but my buddy told me the same thing about them using the cobra motor.