IDIOTS IN SERVICE:

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?)



IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.


IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.I could swear I've recently been with some of these people...



IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.



IDIOT SIGHTING #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."



IDIOT SIGHTING #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is
red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"


IDIOT SIGHTING #3:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer- in-the-headlights stare.



IDIOT SIGHTING #4:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.



IDIOT SIGHTING #5:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Now don't you feel better?

 

Thats nothing, my sister used to work Tech Support for Sykes, Macintosh help only. One time she answered a call about a guy that could not turn his compuiter on, the power had gone out.

 

Actually my email does work without my telephone line, -it's called cable broadband.

If the cable goes out I still have dialup sseeerrrrvvvvviiiiiiccccccceeeeeeee.

 

That's nothing- while reviewing the general statutes of the wonderful state of Connecticut to find the lift laws, I came across some plate information. It seems that not only are blind people allowed to drive here, they are issued specialy plates! The statute says nothing about them being used to drive around a blind person in a car they own, but specifically says they are for blind motor vehicle operators. I love this state so much.............

 

Great stories! How do these people SURVIVE! I wish I could be an idiot and lucky too! I'd play the lottery! Like George Carlin, I stop at all green lights in case my brother is coming the other way! MORE... We want MORE.... Talk with you guys later....

 

God must love stupid people, he keeps making more of them!

 

It's proof that even God has a sense of humor.

 

Wait a minute... in sighting #5, you said "my husband and I"...and your signature says that your name is Dennis. Now Gtex is gonna think that this is the funniest thing ever, but are you a man or a woman?? Sorry for such a personal question, but I am confused.

 

So that explains the braile keypad on drive-up ATM's!!!!!

 

Wait a minute... in sighting #5, you said "my husband and I"...and your signature says that your name is Dennis. Now Gtex is gonna think that this is the funniest thing ever, but are you a man or a woman?? Sorry for such a personal question, but I am confused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I did was copy & paste.

__________________

 

My boys are 2 grades apart in school. They have primary(K-2) and intermediate(3-5) schools which are right across the driveway from each other. You would figure they would both ride the same bus. Nope too easy.

Our kids get on two separate buses, which cover essentially the same routes but which are 15 minutes apart. I have seen the buses and asked my kids about it, and they are never very full, so overcrowding couldn't be it.

A few years back before there were the two schools, there was only one(K-5) and only one bus. Now we have two schools and two busses to cover the same function as before. I was told it saves money to have two busses covering the same route 15 minutes apart. Huh? The kids are NOT allowed to ride the same bus even if they live in the same house and arrive in the same driveway at school, not cost effective. Also means we have to be down at the driveway 4 times per day instead of twice.

No wonder I don't have me a guvment job, I jus don't understand why they doubled my property tax and built another school and doubled the busses while "being more cost effective". Guess I don't understand how the gravy train, uh I mean finances of schools work.

BTW, next year my oldest is in junior high(6-9) and youngest is in 4th. The junior high is across the street from the primary and intermediate. Do you think they will get to ride the same bus, don't bet on it.

Just my irritated tax payer opinion, and they wonder why I vote down every spending bill.

Jim Henderson

 

Back in '74 when I was a senior in high school we had a big log hauling boy join our football team. He was huge, no neck, arms as big as my legs, hairy as a gorilla, eyebrows bushed, muscles in his ears...and he was mean as a gut-shot panther. One day after practice he came running into the fieldhouse yelling that someone had been driving his truck, telling the culprit to come forward now and spare a broken arm or leg. The coach asked how he knew someone had been driving it. The big guy replied, "Because, coach, when I came to practice this morning I parked it in the shade, and now it's out there in the hot sun!"

 

Thanks mil1ion, I had a gender mixup in another forum, and Gtex thought it was funny, and it was, but I felt stupid afterwards. I thought that maybe Dennis was a girls name up in the great white north...

 

That would be : Denise,Deniece,Deniese

 

Our group was ready for the big San 'G' hike, so, we go the the 'ranger station' to get permits. I asked the person at the counter, " So, what's the bear situation, any reports of problem bears at any camps?"....She looks at me like I'm missing semething very simple and says, rolling her eyes back, "Don't worry, the bears know the new rules."

Well, Sure enough, we were harrassed by a pair of bears on out trip. Thank providence I did't have to gun the bears. It's against the law.

.....She must have learned about bears watching Hanna Barbara cartoons..so I guess that's a U S Forrest Service requirement.