Some new ones here. Enjoy!

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color
of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought
about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" As she
was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes
dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started
running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please
don't let me be late...But
please don't shove me either!"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him
the money now, will he let us go?"
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first
boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him
$100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few
words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people
to collect all the money!"
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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men
she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother
cooked.
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,
she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was live, I don't want them to
take me out when I'm dead.
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup,"
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A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to
go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with
them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week
his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said,
Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side.
I think I'm going to have a wife"
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about
all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa
Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."