Pumpkin Polish Parody
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Joined: Jan 2011
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From: Puget Sound
Pumpkin Polish Parody
After receiving a very high quote for fixing the “scrub” I get when I turn corners (sticking clutch pack in the rear end), I turn to the forum for options. There is a loud and continuous chorus to try replacing the fluid and friction modifier before doing anything else. The last time I ignored a loud and continuous chorus, I traded in my Toyota for a Vega when I was a teenager. While many people live in big towns, where there are plenty of large and well-stocked auto-parts stores... I get an Irish mini-mart and Bi-Mart. Bi-mart has better prices on oil, but neither has the right rear-end lube for Stinky (insert snickers here) . Well... at least there's a huge Ford service and parts department at the dealership.
So I have my gear goop and Guzzle's guide (off his web page). This is gunna be messy, and my wife likes oil in the driveway even less than I do... so oil collector, big cardboard, plastic bags, and paper towels. Paper towels... that reminded me to call my wife and let her know we should buy more stock in Scott Towel and Band Aid before I get started.
First glance under the truck (it's dark under there) reveals what looks like a slow leak on the driver's side of the differential cover. Well... at least it will be greasy instead of rusty, so I grab the camera and take a picture. The flash gave me the quickest of glimpses of the real story... like from a scene in a horror movie where the boogieman shows up in the mirror behind you. I thought there could be two options; grease or rust - but I was wrong... it's grust.
I pop the cover with no problem and Stinky starts dropping coffee-and-cream-looking stuff into the oil collector, but I know coffee... and nobody can tell me that smelled like coffee. With the cover off, I'm rootin' around between Stinky's legs with lights, a camera, mirror, and an inspection camera. I'll bet Stinky was wondering if he was going to get a vasectomy. Pause. Wouldn't that be something? If Superdutys could breed like horses? With all the modding I've done, I'd have a Frankenstinky Jr. in the driveway. Shudder. Play. Everything looks great in there, but a bowling ball in the pumpkin would look great in there... for all I know.
Time to go at this cover. I can barely look at the thing, it's so... well... grusty. I clear the power tool rack of a few elbow aids and get to shaving, grinding, and sanding. I had to take the cover away from the truck and the shop to sand the outside of the cover, because of the rustsplosion. Note to self: The next time you see somebody replace an undercarriage part with something corrosion-resistant, don't be such a cheap bass turd and go get one before servicing that part. Everything is cleaned up and painted (BBQ paint... it's made for the weather and inhibits rust) and start to take pictures. This is when the camera died. Not the battery, the camera. Yet another thing I need to fix... pleh. At least I'm better at fixing cameras than I am at working on big iron.
Now it's time to clean the sealing face on the pumpkin, so I cover the guts with plastic bags. I can't use the power tools because it will risk getting stuff where I don't want it. It sure would be nice if I had room for my shoulders under here... maybe if I removed the spare tire. I think my anality is taking a hiatus because I just kick the creeper to the curb. Everything eventually gets cleaned and the rest of the installation (and painting) goes so smooth I can't come up with any entertaining narration.
After the appropriate drying times for the RTV, nothing is left but the fill. I'm looking for the fill plug and that's when I discover the rear torsion bar with my skull. Is it too much to ask that Ford grinds the edges down on these things? Now I'm thinking about calling the wife to invest in bump-cap manufacturers. I get the plug/magnet out and there is zero metal on the magent. Zip. Nada. Finally... something goes right with Stinky. Other than not being able to fully tip the jugs of rear-end lube for draining, this goes relatively uneventful... save the blood in my eye.
I go for a drive and the scrubbing is greatly reduced, but I need to add a little more friction modifier. Maybe after the gourd gash is gone.
So I have my gear goop and Guzzle's guide (off his web page). This is gunna be messy, and my wife likes oil in the driveway even less than I do... so oil collector, big cardboard, plastic bags, and paper towels. Paper towels... that reminded me to call my wife and let her know we should buy more stock in Scott Towel and Band Aid before I get started.
First glance under the truck (it's dark under there) reveals what looks like a slow leak on the driver's side of the differential cover. Well... at least it will be greasy instead of rusty, so I grab the camera and take a picture. The flash gave me the quickest of glimpses of the real story... like from a scene in a horror movie where the boogieman shows up in the mirror behind you. I thought there could be two options; grease or rust - but I was wrong... it's grust.
I pop the cover with no problem and Stinky starts dropping coffee-and-cream-looking stuff into the oil collector, but I know coffee... and nobody can tell me that smelled like coffee. With the cover off, I'm rootin' around between Stinky's legs with lights, a camera, mirror, and an inspection camera. I'll bet Stinky was wondering if he was going to get a vasectomy. Pause. Wouldn't that be something? If Superdutys could breed like horses? With all the modding I've done, I'd have a Frankenstinky Jr. in the driveway. Shudder. Play. Everything looks great in there, but a bowling ball in the pumpkin would look great in there... for all I know.
Time to go at this cover. I can barely look at the thing, it's so... well... grusty. I clear the power tool rack of a few elbow aids and get to shaving, grinding, and sanding. I had to take the cover away from the truck and the shop to sand the outside of the cover, because of the rustsplosion. Note to self: The next time you see somebody replace an undercarriage part with something corrosion-resistant, don't be such a cheap bass turd and go get one before servicing that part. Everything is cleaned up and painted (BBQ paint... it's made for the weather and inhibits rust) and start to take pictures. This is when the camera died. Not the battery, the camera. Yet another thing I need to fix... pleh. At least I'm better at fixing cameras than I am at working on big iron.
Now it's time to clean the sealing face on the pumpkin, so I cover the guts with plastic bags. I can't use the power tools because it will risk getting stuff where I don't want it. It sure would be nice if I had room for my shoulders under here... maybe if I removed the spare tire. I think my anality is taking a hiatus because I just kick the creeper to the curb. Everything eventually gets cleaned and the rest of the installation (and painting) goes so smooth I can't come up with any entertaining narration.
After the appropriate drying times for the RTV, nothing is left but the fill. I'm looking for the fill plug and that's when I discover the rear torsion bar with my skull. Is it too much to ask that Ford grinds the edges down on these things? Now I'm thinking about calling the wife to invest in bump-cap manufacturers. I get the plug/magnet out and there is zero metal on the magent. Zip. Nada. Finally... something goes right with Stinky. Other than not being able to fully tip the jugs of rear-end lube for draining, this goes relatively uneventful... save the blood in my eye.
I go for a drive and the scrubbing is greatly reduced, but I need to add a little more friction modifier. Maybe after the gourd gash is gone.
Thread Starter
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Hotshot
Joined: Jan 2011
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From: Puget Sound
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AR, AR, AR..(stupid without vid, but couldnt find one..(toolman taylor) haha)
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Logistics Pro
Joined: Dec 2010
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From: Temperance, MI
Tug not that it's gonna make you feel any better but I had a small chair that I sat in when I changed the fluid on my pumpkin. I also have no spare tire under the truck because it would look like a small donut does on a little car only being a factory size tire.
THE SMELL Ohhh the smell.... It was almost enough to make my wife puke.... Yes my wife has a big part of working on my truck too
THE SMELL Ohhh the smell.... It was almost enough to make my wife puke.... Yes my wife has a big part of working on my truck too
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Lead Driver
Joined: Sep 2010
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Who dont like a wife get'n..down-n-dirty! Mine got jiggy with it, when installing the clutch..
Tug, by chance, its been awhile since i replaced the fluid, but you think, theres ANY room, to tap a hole for fluid drain, or atleast, drill hole, weld nut on outer shell, and plug it, for fluid drain?
Tug, by chance, its been awhile since i replaced the fluid, but you think, theres ANY room, to tap a hole for fluid drain, or atleast, drill hole, weld nut on outer shell, and plug it, for fluid drain?
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Hotshot
Joined: Jan 2011
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From: Puget Sound
Thread Starter
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 18,849
Likes: 179
From: Puget Sound
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From: ellensburg
Rich,
Lift the beast....it'll give you so much more room.
This is one of the projects that will be done on mine this summer when I pull my bed. Delete spare tire (pointless when running 37's), wire wheel frame and por15, install sump, change out rear diff fluid, install true trac, possibly install 4.10 gears, and clean up everything. Should be a fun week or so of work.
Lift the beast....it'll give you so much more room.
This is one of the projects that will be done on mine this summer when I pull my bed. Delete spare tire (pointless when running 37's), wire wheel frame and por15, install sump, change out rear diff fluid, install true trac, possibly install 4.10 gears, and clean up everything. Should be a fun week or so of work.