I got this e-mail from a friend the other day detailing how to get back at these people to a degree.

1) When someone calls trying to get you to sign up for "Credit guard" or to accept their credit card or do whatever else they want you just tell them "Hang on 1 second" then you put the phone down and continue what you're doing. Don't hang up!

2) When you get junk mail from credit card companies or whoever it usually comes with a postage paid envelope. They only pay postage when these are mailed. Mail them! Stick cupons from the local pizza joint or anything else in there and mail them back. Better yet, I think it's pretty easy to recognize this stuff when it arrives. Rip it open right there and take the postage paid envelopes out right there and throw them back in the outgoing mail slot empty.

I once heard you can tape them to a brick and they will deliver that and it will cost a bundle but I haven't tried it myself

3) Whenever your phone rings and you answer and there's no one on the other end it's usually a computer calling to find out what time of day you are home so a real person can call and try to get you to buy their junk. When this happens...as soon as you realize there's no one there start hitting the # key rapidly. It will make their computer think you are a fax machine or computer and it will kick your number out.

 

Good calls rrmike. Here a few more.

For the junk mail, if it the postage is first class or 3rd class w/return postage guranteed, simply write REFUSED - RETURN TO SENDER on the envelope, and circle the return addy. My understanding is that the sender get's to pay the 37 cents to get it back. Also, along with the idea of taping a brick to the junkmail, consider taping a 2x4 to it; I can only imagine the cost of shipping an eight footer cross country

For phone calls, there are a few more goodies:

a) for sales etc. calls at dinner time, interupt the pest and ask for their company name, then their name, and finally ask them for THEIR HOME PHONE NUMBER. They will explain that they cannot give this to you. Continue to ask for their home phone number. When you want to end the fiasco, you do one of two things 1) ask them "could it be that you don't want to give me your # because maybe you don't like being bothered when you're eating?" 2) Tell them that you REALLY do need their home phone number because you really do want to talk to them about their product and that you will call them at 3:00am, and that is the only time that you are free to do so.

b) If you really are busy, feel free to take the phone into the bathroom with you and proceed to do what you need to do, making sure they get an earful.

c) Put a minute timer next to the fone so they get to hear the loud tick tick tick

d) Tap the phone with your finger so that it makes an annoying sound in their ear. Also, feel free to drop the phone onto the floor a few times too.

For the bills that you get monthly, like phone and power, return all of their advertising crap to them. For good measure, feel free to collect all of that crap from your bills and return it to just one company. Make them dig around to find your check.

I'll leave out how I deal with the bible-beaters that come around now and then, but I sure have fun with them too. AND, they NEVER seem to come back to offend me again

 

Cowboy, I would like to hear how you deal with the bible thumpers. If you care to share, E-mail me.

I have done the mail the junk back to the credit card company thing. I am going to try some of the ones for the phone. Sounds like more fun than the do not call list.

 

I'm not sure if they have to pay for return mail. The little envelope they include for you to send the application or whatever back in is postage paid. That's what I'm talking about.

I've heard the one about asking for their home # but they don't care. I've tried it and they don't seem to mind the hypocrasy..sp?

I just like telling them I'll be right back hang on. Then it runs up their phone bill waiting for nothing. I've had them wait for over 5 minutes before they hang up

 

Bible thumpers get under my skin, although I appreciate the fact that they have found comfort in their religion. When they start to go off, I simply interupt them and explain that I am offended by people that go door-to-door peddling religion as if it were a Kirby or Avon product. And yes, I am offended by this and it's not because I'm anti-religion. I go to church too, maybe not as often as some people though.

I learned long ago in a Social Psychology class (as if it were really needed) that valid religious organizations have a membership that is there because they made their OWN decision to attend. CULTS on the other hand, go out and recruit people. I'm not a real fan of religious cults.

Another hint for the bible-beaters: NEVER let them put their propoganda in your hand. If you do, they will generally expect money in return.

On another note, there was a controversial election in my town where the subject was, for all practical purposes, guranteed city/county jobs for gays, etc. I can't even tell you what I said to them when they landed on my doorstep begging for my vote; I'll be banned from FTE. However, the person thanked me for my time and left VERY quickly, with me telling her not to go offending my neighbors.

 

I have found that the best way to deal with the rather obnoxious religion fanatics that bother me from time to time, is tell them I am a Bishop. They never come back.

Theo

 

This one was dreamed up years ago when I was a bachelor in...

*Looks around*

This very same apartment complex, come to think.

Not having any roomates at the time, I did it out of pure spite. But as word got around from talking to friends, neighbors, and co-workers, the game expanded and took on this form:

"SOLICITATION"
[list=1][*]Post a notice stating "No Solicitors" at your front door. Ignorance of it constitutes fair game...
[*]Each roomate takes "shills" on a rotational basis to ensure a fair shot at them
[*]Since they must hit a statistical number of prospects per evening - holding them at your house limits their PROFITS
[*]The game consists of keeping them at your apartment as long as you possibly can. Points are awarded per minute...
[*]At the end of the week, points are tallied and the winner drinks for free on friday night...[*]All means, fair or foul, are permitted. It's your home - they invaded it!
[*]BE CREATIVE!!![/list=1]


The longest stay on record (about three and a half hours!) was a female magazine seller who wasn't interested in a date - but damn sure seemed interested in a ride on either a Harley Davidson, or in a new Mustang...

NOTE: Neither of which existed.... (snikkerrezz)

ADDITIONAL NOTE: Eventually they catch on - and avoid your apartments like the PLAGUE!

FAVORITE LINES:
"You're not really going to buy anything, are you?"
"Well actually - I was considering it. But I can't really see the usefulness in it. Unless you can convince me..."

"But I already have all of these other magazine subscriptions... Have you seen the latest copy of this yet?" (If it's a female - show a female oriented magazine. If male - sports)

"I don't know if I have enough money - what are the payments like?"

Regarding the above: Did you know that the most effective way to sell someone something they DO NOT NEED, is to challenge their ability to pay for it? I have that info from a professional salesman! People will jump through hoops over that idea...
NEVER FALL FOR THAT!

Also beware of the false leave-taking: "Well, I guess I should come back some other time...."
My response? "Don't bother yourself - unless you plan on staying the night (or if it's a guy - "BRING A TWELVE PACK!"...."

"But the wife isn't home... (Works great - even if you are single!) How shall I explain the expense to her???"


The most horrible spectre in a salesmans world is a consumer who is aware of what is called "WALK AWAY POWER".

- You don't have to buy anything. But there is an operative illusion that you will make a deal when these people set foot in your doorway.

DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT!

Sympathy has nothing to do with how you spend your money...
(He states, objectively)


>=op

 

When I get those postage paid envelopes I just use them to send off other bills, and then tape the solicited letter back together, write return to sender on it and then its out of my way. Doesn't fill up my trash, and I get a free envelope w/ postage paid on it
Ain't I mean.
So instead of wasting the envelopes, put them to use and then send the crap back to the sender

 

I'm in the mailing Business. Berkad ( Berk Addressing) The mail arriving with return postage garanteed cost the mailer a bit more for mail but they do not pay untill the mail is returned. If it is not returned, they do not pay. The same is true for the credit card companies with their return envelope. You throw it away.... they don't pay. The funny looking barcode on the top of the envelope identifies them to the post office. I have heard speculation that if one credit card company got back EVERY prepaid envelope they send in one month, the cost of the postage will close them down.

 

So what happens just say when I send a phone bill in an envelope that the Light company has sent me?
The light company still pays my postage right?
Thought so, but not sure.
So either way, Im getting free stamps

 

Here's how we got rid of unwanted Jehovah's Witnesess...

Back in the day, we used to raise chickens. It was slaughter day. I was pretty young, maybe 5-6 years old. I remember this vividly.

They come to the front door, the only one in the house at the time is my sister, who was 13-14 at the time..
They ask to speak to one of her parents. Being ever the smart alec, she retrieves my father, who is at this point, dirty, sweaty, half exhausted from chasing, and slaughtering birds.. Oh, did I mention he was covered from head to toe in blood and swearing maniacally, and carrying an axe?
Anyway, they ask with a shaken voice, "Sorry to bother you sir, is the lady of the house at home?"
"Yeah, she's out back."
"Could we speak to her?"
As he glances down at the blood covered axe, "Sorry, she's busy."

They quickly left (as in as fast as I've ever seen 2 old ladies dressed in their Sunday best move) and have never been back.

Gee, I wonder why all of our old neighbors moved away?


As far as telemarketers, I just set the phone down, and ignore it until I hear the loud beep meaning it's been off the hook too long...

 

I hate Bible thumpers. I once made the mistake of being polite to Jehovas witnesses by telling them I was not Christian and practiced Buddhism. They came by at least 3 times a week to save the heathen. They got my phone # and called me. The only peace I got for 2 years was when I had duty and stayed on the boat or my unit deployed. They made my life hell. I'd be in the driveway fixing my truck or cutting grass or whatever and they would pester me with Bibles and whatnot, It used to get so bad I had to go in the house and a few times they would try to force there way in after me. My favorite line was "Sir we only want to save your soul from the fires of Hell" I was so glad when I got orders to a new unit and moved. Now whenever somebody knocks on my door and they're not a deliveryman I ignore it. I don't have a phone either.

 

The easiest way to get rid of JW type pest is to invite them in, and tell them you used to be a JW, but were thrown out. Admit that you joined another JW church, and you, along with some of the members that welcomed you were thrown out of that one. Then ask if they will support you to join their church.

The JW personnel will break down the door in an attempt to leave.

 

I can't stand anybody going door-to-door selling stuff. One day I saw two bible beaters hit my neighbors house and head my way so I grabed my shotgun and sat in a rockingchair on the front porch and pretended to be asleep with the shotgun in my hands. they left quietly when they noticed me.
The neighbor told me they was from a group in Idaho or Iowa not sure witch, but i'm in South Carolina

 

He's right. I have a good friend that was raised JW. He met the woman that became his wife there. When they found out that she had stayed at his house prior to them being married, they both got kicked out. NOBODY from that church will even SPEAK to him if they see him..