There was a gathering yesterday. People from many walks of life. To pay tribute & mark the passing of a mutual friend. Bob McDonald. 52 year's old. A consummate worshiper of the spirit's...could knock em back w/ the best of them. His wife had left him 10 or more year's ago. She tried to keep up w/ his lifestyle for year's but finally bowed out & left him to his mistress, Alcohol.

So, first his wife left him while job's came & went. Then his liver started complaining. Quietly at first. Not much more than a yellow tint to his pale face for lack of sunlight. A rare commodity in bars.

Next his kidney's began to fail from the constant battering of the only love of his life he remained true to till the end. Still, little outward signs. A slight puffiness about the eye's & face. His sock's left well defined imprints when he pulled them down. This is caused by them restricting fluids to be allowed to build up in the extremities. Also a sign the heart might be having a bit of a rough go of it.

Still nothing that would keep him from his nightly round's of local watering holes. Consistent w/ that to a fault, you could set your watch by when he walked in & out the door of the pub's. Nor the tingling is his fingers & toes. A tingling that switched quickly to pain if he bumped them into things, which happened w/ regularity. Old age he'd say...Onset of Diabetes, I'd say. He decided to give up Golf, about the same time his body was giving up on him.

Anyway, this gathering was held at his favorite bar, although more than one bar owner argued between themselves as to which could rightly claim that title. The winner..."O'connel's Bar & grill". After all, that is where Bob almost alway's started & ended his daily drinking adventures. The rest where just stop off's along the way.

So the event began. Rather early actually. W/ a few hanging on the door for the 6:30 am opening, & throughout the day, & long into the night. Why I heard they literally had to pry the drinks out of some of the attendee's hand's at closing...obviously too overcome w/ grief over the loss of their comrade Bob. However I have a theory that if one drink's enough, it becomes almost impossible for the relative mass of an *** to remove itself from it's resting place...a barstool.

So on that day, April 21, 2012, toasts were made, tear's were shed, condolences where exchanged...& business was good at the bar. The irony was lost on most who attended.

Rest in peace Bob.

 

Sorry to hear of your friends passing..

It is tough to see people drink like that.. I have known a few..

We all have our demons..

 

Mike I started to write a couple of different things.
None of them were right when I read them.

I'm sorry you lost a friend.

 

My condolences, Mike.

It's tough to lose a friend. It's even tougher when it's needless....

May your many friends here help to support you.....

 

Short of having someone committed to an institution and forcing them into treatment (and away from the bottle), there's nothing one can do to.....or for.......another adult who wishes to partake (and partake, and partake) of whatever substance brings them pleasure. They might even know what they're doing to themselves......and not really care.

Had a friend in the Marines who died of liver cirrhosis a few years ago......Age 42. He even CALLED himself an alcoholic from a family of alcoholics. Checked himself into rehab at least twice.......Came right out and said 'I can't quit'........

The bottle.....and cirrhosis......won.

RIP, Eddie........(and Bob)

 

It started out as notes for a eulogy. I had planned to head down there & say a few words. But I was mad about the way he died, The hundreds & hundreds of nails he put in his own coffin over the years, every time he tipped back another one. Mad about the fact it was being held at a bar. Mad the bar was profiting from him even after his death. Mad that I was the only person looking at all this & saying, "WTF!". So it ended up me just telling his story here, & I've decided eulogy's might not be my bag. Or at least a note to self: Never try to write a eulogy when your mad. But in this case, I don't expect that to change anytime soon.

 

My condolences as well

 

I didn't know this particular person, but all of us knew him, or a version of him. It's completely sad and useless to watch a friend slowly kill himself in that manner.

Your 'eulogy' was fitting and I am going to post it (with your permission) on my facebook page.

 

Sure. Not a problem. You're right. We all know a Bob.

 

My alcoholic cousin who was 1 1/2 years older than me took his own life a year ago on April 4th. He had been to re-hab 3 times, to jail even more than that, but he just wouldn't leave it alone. I could be mad at the bars that sold him the drinks, or the companies that manufactured the drinks, or the people he drank with, or the company that manufactured the gun that he used to kill himself, but the unavoidable fact is he chose to drink.

 

Hi Mike,

I know that you intended this thread otherwise, but it might make for a good legacy if the thread morphs into a "tell your (friend's) story" as it appears to be doing.

Bass

 

That would be a good thing, & I'm sure Bob wouldn't mind at this point, especially if something good came of it. Bob would help anybody w/ hesitation. He just couldn't help himself.

 

I'm sorry for your loss ..

Oddly , I have a friend named Bob , that is the same downward spiral ...

 

In AA they have a saying:
"There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Bob is the reason for that saying. Others will learn from his inability to control the demon within him. Somewhere, somebody will see what it did to Bob and they'll make a decision to do something about it. Unfortunately, as long as there is alcohol, there will be people that kill themselves using it. Believe it or not, Mike, there might have been someone at the very gathering that decided to quit drinking. Everything has a reason.

 

If my uncle was still alive, he would be in his 90s today.

He wasn't much of a family man. He married several times and fathered several children, but he was, at best, distant. At worst he was abusive and in today's world his behavior would most likely have him arrested and convicted of abuse. He wasn't what you'd call a "nice man" nor was it easy to be around him. But he was talented.

He was a plumber and an engineer. When he was sober, there was noone better. And when he was drunk, he was indistinguishable from any other drunk.

Back in the late 60s, construction began on a now famous midwestern sky scraper. In assembling the team, they decided that my uncle was the best man for that skill slot -- if he was sober. They didn't know where he was or if he was sober, but made the business decision to find out. Well they did find him. About 100 miles from the job site, drunk in some gutter/flop house. They sobered him up enough to explain the project to him and that they wanted him to run a key aspect of the construction, but only if he was sober. He agreed, they dried him out, and construction began soon after.

He stayed sober for about 6 months. During that time the building's foundation was laid, and about 3 floors were built. He fell back off the wagon and was replaced for the rest of the project, but he had stayed sober for the critical first 6 months of construction and it was a resounding success. Those of you familiar with Minneapolis will recognize this landmark -- the IDS tower.

When sober, he was so good at his craft that sobering him up for a couple of months to run a project was a calculated risk worth taking. When drunk, he was a bum. And whether he had a bottle in his hand or not, he was the consummate baztard.

I don't remember him ever being sober again. The booze eventually killed him. That was after he'd torched every relationship, family or friend, that he'd ever had.