I just don't care
#1
08-04-2011, 12:50 PM
I just don't care
Ever just feel like you're ready to snap?
I'm at the point now where I'm just looking for an excuse to go out with a bang.
Losing my job. Truck is breaking down left and right. Troubles at home. I have ulcers and can't sleep (chronic insomnia).
I'm just sick of trying to make a life. There's always something knocking me right back down again. I finally get a job after a year of searching and five months later find out the building manager wants me gone. No talks, no warnings, just went behind my back and told my HR to get rid of me.
I realize there are people in worse situations as me. But I'm tired of telling myself that. I'm tired of sucking it up and slugging it out. Honestly, I just don't care anymore.
I'm going to get dressed and go to work. My job here ends Friday. I have already sent out 11 applications, made a thousand phone calls. Per usual, I'm always a day late and a dollar short.
sigh.
I'm at the point now where I'm just looking for an excuse to go out with a bang.
Losing my job. Truck is breaking down left and right. Troubles at home. I have ulcers and can't sleep (chronic insomnia).
I'm just sick of trying to make a life. There's always something knocking me right back down again. I finally get a job after a year of searching and five months later find out the building manager wants me gone. No talks, no warnings, just went behind my back and told my HR to get rid of me.
I realize there are people in worse situations as me. But I'm tired of telling myself that. I'm tired of sucking it up and slugging it out. Honestly, I just don't care anymore.
I'm going to get dressed and go to work. My job here ends Friday. I have already sent out 11 applications, made a thousand phone calls. Per usual, I'm always a day late and a dollar short.
sigh.
#2
08-04-2011, 01:10 PM
I hear you loud and clear (and yeah - that's a cry for help if I ever heard one.)
Been barely escaping heat exhaustion down here in Memphis, and I can certify that slowly roasting can make anybody start getting wild. I bet there's a lot of that right now...
I can relate right down to that rotten feeling in your gut that you just want to fold up and start bauling your eyes out - but somehow you just can't seem to cry anymore.
When your feelings finally go numb about that, it's either a very bad sign or a good one.
But I always start to fasten onto the unfairness, the people I profited while they let me just bury myself, the RATS that seem to come out of no-where as soon as they think you may be in trouble wanting to buy stuff from you at insulting rip-off prices, and so on...
and then something cold and hard inside of me says:
"I will not bow down before thieves and CHEATS! I will NEVER QUIT, and I will GD'd well never accept defeat if it is the last thing I ever (F)ing do!"
And that is why I am not only still around, but have almost more tools than Ireland has O'Tooles...
As survival traits go, you just can't beat pure distilled STUBBORNESS
* Besides, I know my continued survival and success pissezzz off the people who have tried to mess me up
* I found out one of them was HOMELESS the other day...
Ya might try developing a weird sense of humor if you haven't already.
That way the worse it gets, the funnier it is. (it worked in boot camp)
Been barely escaping heat exhaustion down here in Memphis, and I can certify that slowly roasting can make anybody start getting wild. I bet there's a lot of that right now...
I can relate right down to that rotten feeling in your gut that you just want to fold up and start bauling your eyes out - but somehow you just can't seem to cry anymore.
When your feelings finally go numb about that, it's either a very bad sign or a good one.
But I always start to fasten onto the unfairness, the people I profited while they let me just bury myself, the RATS that seem to come out of no-where as soon as they think you may be in trouble wanting to buy stuff from you at insulting rip-off prices, and so on...
and then something cold and hard inside of me says:
"I will not bow down before thieves and CHEATS! I will NEVER QUIT, and I will GD'd well never accept defeat if it is the last thing I ever (F)ing do!"
And that is why I am not only still around, but have almost more tools than Ireland has O'Tooles...
As survival traits go, you just can't beat pure distilled STUBBORNESS* Besides, I know my continued survival and success pissezzz off the people who have tried to mess me up
* I found out one of them was HOMELESS the other day...
Ya might try developing a weird sense of humor if you haven't already.
That way the worse it gets, the funnier it is. (it worked in boot camp)
#3
08-04-2011, 02:33 PM
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Come on Bill ! Your tougher than that! Your still a young man and these are really rough times.You will probably find out that someone wants your job for a friend or relative,so they screwed you over for them,*********s,the world is full of them.The Man upstairs will help you out.You have ulcers from worrying about this stuff,I've been there,and when you think the whole world is crap,something will come along and turn it around.What's the worst thing this crap can do to you?Kill you? Don't help it along.Give it your best shot,then sit back and say"Fxxx It",I'm alive and sooner or later something will change.You don't have a wife and kids to worry about,so it could be worse.You do have people you love and probably love you,and you have God.You also have friends on here,some people don't have a computer or even know how to use one.When I was 26, I was busted right down to the cloths on my back and my motorcycle and was out of work for over 2yrs. It was my friends and my father (also out of work) and my attitude that pulled me through,then I met my wife,we each came up with$2.50 each and bought our marriage license ($5 ) ,I found a couple ****ty jobs,then a better job,and so on.That was 1976,we're still together,6 kids,8 grand kids,and 8 great grand kids,and I don't have money coming out my a$$,but I'm happy and those dark times are just a memory.So hang in there,future people may be depending on you.
Your Friend,
Buster
Your Friend,
Buster
#4
08-04-2011, 02:55 PM
Bill - in times like these, don't be afraid to seek help. It could be a counselor, a preacher, a friend or a relative.
I will also quote someone much wiser than myself:
I will also quote someone much wiser than myself:
Did you get up to a new day this morning? Do you have the blessing of good health? Do you live in a free country filled with opportunity? If you can answer "yes", then you are not ruined and the future is what you make it. Every new day is a blessing, a blank sheet waiting to be written. You can learn and be better for the past or you can let it eat on you like some parasite in your mental gut .... you decide which it will be. Life hits hard some times and can knock you to your knees, but only you will decide if you stay there
#6
08-04-2011, 03:14 PM
Bill,
None of us know exactly how you feel or what you are going through. I do know that I went through hell for close to 3 years. I was lucky that I had an amazing group of people here that offered me advise and help when I needed it most. Please take Adrians advice and seek the help that you need, if there is anything that I can personally do to help feel free to ask.
None of us know exactly how you feel or what you are going through. I do know that I went through hell for close to 3 years. I was lucky that I had an amazing group of people here that offered me advise and help when I needed it most. Please take Adrians advice and seek the help that you need, if there is anything that I can personally do to help feel free to ask.
#7
08-04-2011, 03:20 PM
Bill.......I could clutter this thread / post with many cliches about your situation but I won't.
What I will do is encourage you to never give up. Everything in life happens for a reason and sometimes you've got to be the one that makes things happen. It may require moving somewhere and starting over again. A fresh start, if you will.
Most importantly though, if you're really feeling like you've said you are, you need to speak to someone much more skilled than any of us. Someone who can help you deal with the problems that you're experiencing that is a neutral party. All you have to do is take a glance through the local phone book and it's generally easy to find counseling and assistance in getting it.
When I was just out of school, I worked factory jobs. The pay was great but it was defense work and I had to undergo numerous layoffs since the union folks with seniority had the right to bump positions. It wasn't what I wanted to do in the first place and in many ways, it made it much easier to get into my current line of work. I've been in this job now for over twenty years and I don't regret any of it. The hardships I endured made me a better and stronger person. I've got a great wife, three kids, and a mortgage that's almost paid off.....fifteen years early too.
We've all got different ways of dealing with stress and personal issues. You've got to find your way of doing so and it may take some outside help to do so. DON'T be afraid to seek professional help. Sometimes that's the only way to successfully cope with and endure hardships. You need to find someone to talk to and there is assistance out there regardless of your financial situation.
Lastly, we're all here to listen and offer whatever help and guidance we can so don't be shy. Keep the professional help option on the table though. That may be your best solution.
What I will do is encourage you to never give up. Everything in life happens for a reason and sometimes you've got to be the one that makes things happen. It may require moving somewhere and starting over again. A fresh start, if you will.
Most importantly though, if you're really feeling like you've said you are, you need to speak to someone much more skilled than any of us. Someone who can help you deal with the problems that you're experiencing that is a neutral party. All you have to do is take a glance through the local phone book and it's generally easy to find counseling and assistance in getting it.
When I was just out of school, I worked factory jobs. The pay was great but it was defense work and I had to undergo numerous layoffs since the union folks with seniority had the right to bump positions. It wasn't what I wanted to do in the first place and in many ways, it made it much easier to get into my current line of work. I've been in this job now for over twenty years and I don't regret any of it. The hardships I endured made me a better and stronger person. I've got a great wife, three kids, and a mortgage that's almost paid off.....fifteen years early too.
We've all got different ways of dealing with stress and personal issues. You've got to find your way of doing so and it may take some outside help to do so. DON'T be afraid to seek professional help. Sometimes that's the only way to successfully cope with and endure hardships. You need to find someone to talk to and there is assistance out there regardless of your financial situation.
Lastly, we're all here to listen and offer whatever help and guidance we can so don't be shy. Keep the professional help option on the table though. That may be your best solution.
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#8
08-04-2011, 04:19 PM
My Brother-in-law was told, last month, that he probably had about 90 days left. Maybe a bit more. He is fighting for one more day. One extra day. Every day.
There are people right here at FTE that have had, or currently have, more struggles and battles to fight than you can ever imagine. Yet they go on for that one more day.
You have got it pretty bad Bill but, you will get over it. Let me take a guess....You were looking for work when you got that job. Right? Just keep on keepin' on. You are what? Twenty-two years old?
Pull that belt a little tighter, lace your sneakers up snug and stand a little taller. Confidence rules the world buddy. Let every one know that you have it and the sun will always shine brighter.
When you get out of bed Saturday, think about what Dono said (RIP). Can't get much more right than that. Write another chapter of your life on that blank sheet and mark the day done at the end of the night. Then when you close your eyes, look forward to Sunday....because it will lead you to one more day.
Good luck to ya Bill. Keep coming back. All of your friends here will keep the light on for you.
#9
08-04-2011, 04:26 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Marlboro Mental Hospital.
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at 28 years old, my wife walked out on me, took the new car, and left me $125,000 in debt.
i was just learning how to walk again after breaking my neck 2 years earlier. i had lost my job 5 months after the accident, and had nothing, not even a car to live in when i was discharged from the hospital. within 2 years, i was walking without crutches or canes, divorced, debt free, had a new truck, and paid off my parents house.
never give up, because if you do, then everyone else wins.
every morning, walk out the door, flip the world the bird, and shout i am stronger than you, and refuse to let you bring me down.
after a week or so, you will realize you are stronger, and no one can ever get you down other than yourself.
i was just learning how to walk again after breaking my neck 2 years earlier. i had lost my job 5 months after the accident, and had nothing, not even a car to live in when i was discharged from the hospital. within 2 years, i was walking without crutches or canes, divorced, debt free, had a new truck, and paid off my parents house.
never give up, because if you do, then everyone else wins.
every morning, walk out the door, flip the world the bird, and shout i am stronger than you, and refuse to let you bring me down.
after a week or so, you will realize you are stronger, and no one can ever get you down other than yourself.
#10
08-04-2011, 04:55 PM
Bill,
We could all recount bad events and sad stories in our lives but that won't make you feel better.
Take a deep breath and be thankful to be alive. Please, Bill, seek counsel from a qualified person or someone you trust and unload your feelings.
And always remember, you have a family right here standing at the ready to talk to you and offer what ever advice possible.
We could all recount bad events and sad stories in our lives but that won't make you feel better.
Take a deep breath and be thankful to be alive. Please, Bill, seek counsel from a qualified person or someone you trust and unload your feelings.
And always remember, you have a family right here standing at the ready to talk to you and offer what ever advice possible.
#12
08-04-2011, 05:47 PM
Bill,
We have all been there and I have been there for almost as long as you have been alive..
It still goes on and I keep kicking and scratching for everything..
But I learned a very long time ago that ther is always someone who has it worse..
I remember beatching about school work and exams to a fellow college student years ago.. What he was dealing with really put things into perspective for me.. While he was struggling with school and stuff his young wife was in the hospital dying of cancer and he used to visit her in the hospital regularly on top of dealing with the minor problems of school..
Just seek help and keep on trying, as everyone has stated, and don't stop until they are shoveling dirt in your face and planting you 6 feet under..
We have all been there and I have been there for almost as long as you have been alive..
It still goes on and I keep kicking and scratching for everything..
But I learned a very long time ago that ther is always someone who has it worse..
I remember beatching about school work and exams to a fellow college student years ago.. What he was dealing with really put things into perspective for me.. While he was struggling with school and stuff his young wife was in the hospital dying of cancer and he used to visit her in the hospital regularly on top of dealing with the minor problems of school..
Just seek help and keep on trying, as everyone has stated, and don't stop until they are shoveling dirt in your face and planting you 6 feet under..
#13
08-04-2011, 06:32 PM
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Never give up
Don't give up Bill. Most of them that take what they think is the easy road and check out are about yer age and younger. Ya think (I'll fix em, I'll show em.) Well let me tell ya that not long after yer gone nobody will remember ya. Aint nobody gonna miss ya for long Bud. We got our own stuff in the way that we have to deal with. Grab the Bull by the horns and buck up and deal with it.
Oh!! How I wish I was you and only had what you have to deal with.
Ya want to talk? I'll give ya my number. Just send me a PM.
Oh!! How I wish I was you and only had what you have to deal with.
Ya want to talk? I'll give ya my number. Just send me a PM.
#14
08-04-2011, 11:11 PM
Bill,
Keep telling yourself this:
It is only temporary.
I also lost my job about two months ago in similar BS office politics, and at the same time the IRS is coming after me for old stuff and my mom is losing her house because she lost her retirement income in the economic crash a few years ago.
My brain can handle only one major thing at a time and the stress was up to the ceiling for a while but things have a way of working out.
Think of the positives - you'll get a new job with new opportunities and things will be better than at the old place. The other things you'll work out over time.
Just remember, the situation is only temporary.
Keep telling yourself this:
It is only temporary.
I also lost my job about two months ago in similar BS office politics, and at the same time the IRS is coming after me for old stuff and my mom is losing her house because she lost her retirement income in the economic crash a few years ago.
My brain can handle only one major thing at a time and the stress was up to the ceiling for a while but things have a way of working out.
Think of the positives - you'll get a new job with new opportunities and things will be better than at the old place. The other things you'll work out over time.
Just remember, the situation is only temporary.
#15
08-04-2011, 11:42 PM
This space for rent...
Bill -
Times like these, find a song to be your motto to help carry you through these rough patches. Keep your head up and remember life is filled with hills and valleys. Just because you're in the valley now, doesn't mean you won't be King of the hill tomorrow.
Zac Brown Band - Quiet Your Mind #7 (With Lyrics) - YouTube
Quiet Your Mind
-Zac Brown Band
I hear the waves
Sun beatin' down on my shoulders
It's a near-perfect day
Wishin' I wouldn't get any older
They say that it's gone 'fore you know it now
Quiet your mind
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride
I feel the change
Goin' on all around me
It's strange
How I'm taken and guided
Where I end up right where I'm needed to be
Quiet your mind
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride
At the end of the water
A red sun is risin'
And the stars are all goin' away
And if you're too busy talkin'
You're not busy listenin'
To hear what the land has to say
Quiet your mind
I hear the waves
Sun beatin' down on my shoulders
It's a near-perfect day
Wishin' I wouldn't get any older
They say that it's gone 'fore you know it and
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride
Times like these, find a song to be your motto to help carry you through these rough patches. Keep your head up and remember life is filled with hills and valleys. Just because you're in the valley now, doesn't mean you won't be King of the hill tomorrow.
Zac Brown Band - Quiet Your Mind #7 (With Lyrics) - YouTube
Quiet Your Mind
-Zac Brown Band
I hear the waves
Sun beatin' down on my shoulders
It's a near-perfect day
Wishin' I wouldn't get any older
They say that it's gone 'fore you know it now
Quiet your mind
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride
I feel the change
Goin' on all around me
It's strange
How I'm taken and guided
Where I end up right where I'm needed to be
Quiet your mind
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride
At the end of the water
A red sun is risin'
And the stars are all goin' away
And if you're too busy talkin'
You're not busy listenin'
To hear what the land has to say
Quiet your mind
I hear the waves
Sun beatin' down on my shoulders
It's a near-perfect day
Wishin' I wouldn't get any older
They say that it's gone 'fore you know it and
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride