Share one or more of your most stressful events with us.

Here's a couple of mine. It helps me keep things in perspective.

1. My oldest daughter was born two (2) weeks into a 120 day patrol while I was assigned to my second Submarine. She was four months when I saw her for the first time. My wife and daughter almost didn't make it and no one told me.

2. I was assigned to a 270' Coast Guard Cutter and at sea working a case during the perfect storm. We were 200 miles off the New England coast when we were caught in the storm. I was and many others aboard were in fear of our lives. The ship was taking on water and we looked at though we had been at war when we returned to port.

3. I watch my mother take her last breath four years ago. That makes everything seem a little trivial to me.

 

There's a couple of definitions of stress.

First, a feeble attempt at trying to take a less serious side:

Stress: The turmoil created between one's brain and body, when you have the overwhelming desire to choke the living crap out of someone that desperately needs it!




On a personal note:
Stress:
The loss of two children before they have the chance or opportunity to experience 'life'.

Stress:
When your Dad is in advanced Stage III of Alzheimer's Disease, and you can't get him to understand why he's in a hospital, due to a fall.
(Dad was taken by ambulance to a local hospital on October 14, 2010.
The hospital 'experts' seem to think that he needs to be sent to a Veteran's 'Home', because he and Mom are in their mid/upper 80s.)

Stress:
When your (then) 2 year old pup is dying from "Chylothorax" and you can't stand to see him suffer, or can't allow him to die, without at least trying to save his life.
(Sidenote - we were able to save Russell's life, but, it cost us well over $13,000.00 to do it. Was the expense 'justified'?? Absolutely! This English Springer Spaniel has brought more joy into this house, than any amount of $$$ could possibly buy.)

 

Knowing that your dog is about to be put down, your wife is with him and your idiot of a LT won't let you leave work because she "doesn't give time off to take care of pets." As if I was going to be getting any work done... I knew the dog was dying, he had lived a wonderful life, but my wife- due to the unfeeling, selfishness of an officer, who wouldn't have known leadership if it kicked her in the... face- had to take care of Ben all by herself.

On the lighter side of stress:

Going all in with three 9's, and an Ace showing on the board...

 

It culminated in a chapter seven totalling $107,000.oo that I had no idea of - just when I was retiring from the NAVY as an E-6

Got a clue?

Get this: The equity in the house was gone

The bitch used it to refloat the cards

Should I get drunk?



RAISE HELL
To infinity, no chance
No way to fix it
DONE like to dust
Terminated

NO future
Starting over
Gone to pieces
Once again...

 

We once lost one of my first daughter for 10-minutes inside a K-mart store. When stuff like this happens, all kinds of stuff runs through your mind. Being new parents, my wife was freaking out!

Being a 2 year-old she had climbed out of the shopping carriage when my wife was not looking. She thought it would be fun to hide on us, I guess. The staff found her hiding in a dressing room after the store was locked down.

 

1: Getting in a fender bender = stressed

2: Trying to throw a woman out of the store I was in charge of without making a scene in front of all the other customers.

3: Got home at 1:30am to find dad's truck idling in the driveway lights on him in it. Wake him up he's not coherent calling me "Sir" and trying to put the RUNNING truck into gear while I'm standing next to the open door and there's a stone wall in front of him then calling my mother and her telling me to call 911 and having paramedics at the house and not getting to bed til 3:00 when they determined there was nothing medically wrong with him. That was a stressful night.

Keep in mind I've only had 18 years to gather stressful events so mine pale in comparison.

 

The funny thing about stress is that it rears it's ugly head different to everyone. We all deal with it differently.

 

And now back to our regularly scheduled program!!!

 

Darkness, darkness, be my pillow
Take my hand and let me sleep
In the coolness of your shadow
In the silence of your deep.
Darkness, darkness, long and lonesome
Is the day that brings me here;
I have felt the edge of silence
I have known the depths of fear.

Darkness, darkness, hide the yearning
For the things that cannot be;
Keep my mind from constant turning
Towards the things I cannot see.

The darkness is getting easier to spot now. It is very different than I had imagined. It's not so much that light is fading. It's more like light is less effective; it feels that light has lost its power. And it happens so slowly. One day a shadow lengthens. The next day a shaded corner darkens. This darkness affects every aspect of your life. You try to resist it. You think you can ignore it. You want to be tough, strong, determined...but it gets harder every day. You begin to feel overwhelmed. You certainly don't want others to know how the darkness ices your soul, poisons your spirit. How does this happen?

UNBELIEVABLE! There she sat, next to the piece of s--- that had literally tried to kill her just a few weeks before. If I had not happened to stop in that particular parking lot to finish up a report, I would have never heard her cries for help. She would be DEAD. Yet there she was in court sitting next to him, holding his hand, acting as if those black eyes and stitches were just so much more make-up.
He was on top of her as she lay across the driver's seat of the car. One of his hands clutched her throat, while the other was in some bizarre struggle with one of hers by the glove box. As I picked him up and threw him off of her, she gave a loud involuntary gasp as air was once again allowed to flow into her lungs. Her first hoarse words were, "He's trying to kill me!"
She had wanted to leave him for a lon time. NOW was the perfect opportunity. He had been caught choking the life out of her while at the same time reaching for the loaded .32 handgun in the glove box and screaming, "I'm gonna kill you, b----!" So as he was hauled off to jail, she was making her plans to go. The Domestic Violence Detective gave her several numbers of shelters to call, but she had already contacted her sister to meet her at the house. They would pack all her stuff and get the hell out of Dodge before he had a chance to sober up and post bond. She was tired of all the beatings that left her body bruised and her spirit broken. This was her chance!
But she blew it. There she stands, swearing to the judge of her undying love for her man who never meant to hurt her. It was just the booze talking...he didn't MEAN it. Charges dropped. Case dismissed. UNBELIEVABLE!

Darkness, darkness, long and lonesome
Is the day that brings me here;
I have felt the edge of silence
I have known the depths of fear.
Darkness, darkness, be my blanket
Cover me with endless night;
Take away the pain of knowing
Fill the emptiness of right.

Darkness, darkness, be my pillow
Take my hand and let me sleep
In the coolness of your shadow
In the silence of your deep.


I can't let my family know. They depend on me to be strong. They can NEVER see the fear that the closing darkness brings. A man is not supposed to have such self-doubt. They can never know just how helpless I feel. The self-loathing for not being able to take the constant chipping away of my sanity. I WILL be strong! I will not let the fear and doubt show. Although the light penetrates less, dispels fewer fears, disperses too little shadow, my family will not be overtaken by the darkness no matter how overwhelmed I may feel.

I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't sleep. I can usually blame my insomnia on the 3rd Shift routine or thje adrenaline high from a late shift call. Tonight, however, it was the eyes that wouldn't shut and allow sweet slumber to greet me.

First it was his eyes. A 21-year-old kid who was only trying to keep his friends from fighting again. The "peacemaker," he just wanted everyone to be friends, or at least friendly. But when jealousy rears its ugly head, friendships are oftentimes forgotten. He had stepped between them many times before...broken up the arguments over the girl. But this time one of his friends brought a gun. And instead of a pat on the back for helping each of them cool down, he was rewarded with a bullet to the gut.

None of his friends were with him when he died. I was. I held his hand with my left hand while my right hand futilly attempted to stop his life from flowing away. I'm not sure my words were of any comfort. He just kept asking me, "Why?" through his tears. He didn't want to die and I didn't want him to die either. But as his grip weakened, his sad eyes looked straight into mine, he drew his last breath and died while staring into my soul. I'll never forget those eyes. Now I can't get to sleep.

Her eyes weren't helping my mind rest either. I'll never know who called her or how she got to the crime scene. But there was his mother trying to follow the medics under the crime scene tape. They were the saviors who had come to rescue her baby. I had to physically restrain her from running to her child. I had to tell her that her peacemaker was now gone. She literally collapsed in my arms, screaming and crying for her only child. I feebly tried to comfort her. I explained how I had held his hand to the last so he wouldn't be alone, how I comforted him the best I knew how until the very end. I thought I was helping her. She started to calm down.

Then she saw the blood. She looked straight into my eyes as the realization hit her that all the redness on my uniform and now on her waitress' smock was his blood. Her baby's blood. I'll never forget her eyes. I'll never forget his.

Please God, let me get some rest! I have to sleep. Work begins again in just a few short hours. Help me see nothing when I close my eyes. Please close their eyes in my mind.

My eyes also betrayed my will. No sleep for nearly 43 hours. My eyes are beyond sore. They literally ache. Scratchy and swollen as if someone was pouring sand into them. So red that I almost beleive I can feel the heat burning off of them. Each beat of my heart causes the pain to pulse from temple to temple. My eyes won't let sleep come to me, either. It hurts to close them. It hurts to open them.

The worst part is, they won't stop producing tears. The "tear-soaked pillow" cliche used to be nothing more than words. A silly phrase used in sappy love songs. But I think I know now what the song writer meant. My eyes won't let me sleep. They keep seeing his eyes...keep seeing her eyes...keep flowing.

Will sleep ever come again? As I finally drift off to a fitful unconsciousness, the alarm rings. It hurts when I open my eyes. As I sit on the edge of the bed in the still darkness, I can barely make out my own form in the mirror. But I can see her eyes and his eyes very clearly. Mine begin to water again.

Sometimes it fades. There are times when the darkness seems less oppressive somehow. There appears seemingly out of nowhere a ray of hope in this field of desolation. A stranger may pay for the cup of coffee you were able to slug down during a moment's calm. The stranded visitor from out of town gives a hearty thank you for keeping them safe while waiting for their roadside assistance. A child, whose only adult interaction has been screams punctuated with slaps and kicks, gives you a tentative hug after you've just arrested her mommy's boyfriend. Those rays of light appear, more like lightning bolts. Instead of bringing comfort, they merely act as the camera's flash revealing society's flaws. These short bursts of contrast accentuating just how far night has fallen. You think you can ignore it. You wnat to be tough, strong, determined. But it gets harder each day. You begin to feel overwhelmed. It almost becomes too much to bear.

Darkness, darkness, hide the yearnings
For the things that cannot be;
Keep my mind from constant turning
Towards the things I cannot see.

Darkness, darkness, be my blanket
Cover me with endless night;
Take away the pain of knowing
Fill the emptiness of right. ---SOLAS

 

I apologize for the buzz kill.

 

Stress: Having your son call & ask to stay in the home your remodeling to sell. You reluctantly say yes due to his past screw ups. Then my real estate agent goes to the house finds him already living in my house. When confronted he admits breaking in through a window. I sent the cops & will press charges He doesn't see where its wrong to just break right in my home full of new appliances & renovations.. Plus he brought his girlfriend who I don't know. This just happened so I don't know how its working out.I sent the cops & will press charges. I'm 350 miles from the house. I have to wait for the police to call & update me.
Good stress: Waiting for a huge buck to walk into bow range.

 

grey wolf . mine left me holding the bag for 192,00 , and i can no longer see my 3 youngest thanx to her lying bull s--t despite having proved the allegations a lie and her doctor who it turns out she paid w/ s-x to get him too lie , unfit and took his liscence . so i say do what i did . keep smiling and let the pain in your **** wonder what it is your smiling about { and even though it's ten years later my lawyer and i are up too know good !!! } and just flat out relax as " WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh and that divorce was the most stressfull thing i have ever had too deal with too this point . it even put me in the looney bin for a bit !!!!!!

 

Bankruptcies are stressful - been through a couple of those...

Not sure if dying is stressful - I can't remember the last 3 times I had to be resuscitated...

Almost lost the wife when she was in labor with our daughter - yeah, that gets stressful...

In recent history, 2 of the more stressful moments in my life both occurred in data centers. In one - a contractor shut off both A/C units leaving all 32 servers and the NAS with no cooling - rack temps climbed up over 200* and the servers started shutting themselves down... Similar thing happened in the 2nd data center only not as bad as that room didn't have as many servers - the A/C unit failed in that instance...