So i wanted to ask any of you guys if you have dated a single mom and If you have any tips.

So I have been hanging out with my great uncles in home care taker he has lou gehrigs disease.

She is 26, single mom, lives on her own, iraq vettran, has a 5 year old daughter (yes i have met her child and her kid seems to like me) and she struggling to make it in life with everything on her plate but has a good attitude and is very nice.

I have hung at her place and let her kid hang with us never pushed her away alway nice and have even let her show me her homework (I dont rember having home work when i was 5)

Im 24, live on my own, work full time as a fleet tech, i dont have kids, I play with my truck (03 7.3 4x4) , my haulmark elite II trailer, and my 06 arctic cat 4x4 fourwheeler, hunt, fish, drink beer etc etc

So our prioritys are kind of different.

But i have never dated a woman with a child.

So this friday is our first offical date you could call it and I was straight up and i asked If i could take her and her daughter out to dinner and to a movie and she was very impressed. We are going to see Dogs & Cats 3d its a pg movie and i asked if that sounds good she said yes and idk where for dinner yet.

But i was wondering is there anything special I should do or a different mind set to be in around her since she has a child? this is all new to me I really want to impress her and what not.

So just throw in your input.

Thanks

 

yes i have! just be yourself if its mint to be it will! good luck

 

Your a good man for taking her daughter out too. It's amazing how so many guys will see a child and run away from a perfectly sweet woman. It kind of makes me sick. It takes a real man to acknowledge a child too and include the child on some of the dates.

Anyways, if it were me, even though it's a date with the lady, make sure you pay attention to the daughter too. That should really impress her. I'm not sure what you're looking for right now in a relationship, but if you're looking for something long term and are really serious about this, just be yourself and treat her and her daughter with respect and show a little compassion. Honesty and respect will go a long ways. Show them both a good time, and you should be fine.

 

Well I would like to see where things go I would like to find a good one to keep around. I do not have the mind set of lets impress her just to get her in bed im not like that.

That and since she has a kid I would not play games or what not because she would have to explain something crazy to her little one.

 

You're a good man. You'll be just fine.

Best of luck!

 

Been there, done that.

Connecting with the kid is easy. Just get rid of the TV set and make sure they get lots of exercise and chores to learn responsibility. Quality time is helping you with your chores.

It's the woman you have to watch out for. Find out why she's not with the baby's daddy. Since she's looking after your uncle who has Lou Gherigs (terrible disease, my neighbour died of that, my sympathies) she probably a good one. But don't let anything get serious until you know that she's ready to respect you as the man of the house, both her and the kid. You don't want a woman with baggage. If you're gonna be the daddy, then its all the way or nothing.

Also, don't be afraid to play the field and scout out all your options. Plenty of fish in the sea.

 

When I met my wife she was a single mom of an 11 year old boy. That was 25 years ago.

If you really love kids, it'll show. If you don't, she'll see an act. I believe you do. Be yourself and treat her little one as though she was your very own.

Blood is thicker than water, just remember that. She'll sacrifice anything for the benefit of her baby.

 

I just married one.

Just be you. Honesty is so hugely important...especially in her shoes. She literally has to think of someone elses best interests as well as her own.

 

I have dated many single moms. They are the same as dating a single non mom. Different issues lie in the head of different people. Some portray that they are all about their kid or kids when they really could care less. Others really do try to make better lives for themselves.

Just remember that you can not give ultimatums of you or her child. The child is part of the whole package to be in her life. I have never tried to take over the real fathers position and did my best to stay out of the conflicts between the mother and father. That is their battle. I always let the child know that they could speak of their father around me without making me upset if I was in a long term live in situation.

I Have had girlfriends that came from great backgrounds that were the meanest psychos you ever ran into, to girlfriends with nothing that were the sweetest women you could meet. They usually followed the mighty dollar and moved on from me.

Live in the moment and look at your time to be the best you can make it for her daughter. You may be passing through or long term, but the heart that will break the hardest is the childs. Be sure footed on this shaky ground. The mothers will get over relationships quick, the kids pay the price. Always include the kid, that is the one that goes on your pedestal. Never let her think you did her a favor by dating her.

Good luck and have fun.

 

Same here, Tim. I met my wife when she was in the midst of divorce, her son was 12. I didn't meet him for a couple of weeks, as she had made that mistake with someone else she had dated and didn't want to put her son through that again. I don't 'really love kids' like you stated, but I like children. Developing a relationship with the child is important and that's what my intentions were with my stepson. It was pretty easy with him, though, I played catch with him and we played paper football for hours at a time. Now I do love him and he is turning into a pretty good man- 20 years old, in the navy's nuclear power program and with an awesome Mustang.

This is an important statement. It seems like something that you'd want a woman to show. I don't mean treating you as a meal ticket or anything like that, but genuine concern for the welfare of the child should be top priority for her- and you, too.

One small piece of advice for you and the little girl: learn how to play Barbies. If you can play with dolls or 'tea' or play house, you'll be her hero- and Momma's hero, too. Of course, that does not preclude teaching her how to change a tire or change the oil in the car.

 

I've dated single mothers, and am now married to one. The prior relationship has netted me another child, as I was more of a father to her than her father, so I am still dad even though I am no longer with her mother, and that was over 8 years ago we split up. Just be yourself, and don't try to take over too quick. Build the relationship as a family, rather than a mother and kid. I think you will be fine as you are thinking properly already. Let what is be as it is.

 

single mom, divorced mom, one legged mom, dont matter. love and dependability is what a family needs.

 

Especially on the "first" date! It shows her that you are not just out for a "good time" and realize that she comes as a package deal. Trust me,,, there is no other person on the face of this Earth more important to her than her child!!! And by accepting that,,, you have already made huge leaps in the right direction.

Quality time is helping with chores?? Geez!! I always thought that helping with chores was building responsible behavior and earning one's keep. Quality time should be just as it sounds,,, quality time,,, not work!! And you show me ANY person,,, male or female,,, who is a single parent and does NOT come with baggage!! Life creates baggage for ALL of us!!! If you are looking for perfection,,, you will remain single for a long time!!! And in the next breath,,, play the field??? Plenty of fish in the sea??? He said he wants to see where this goes,,,, and you tell him to play around??? You give some strange advice!!

Barbies??? Are you kidding me?!?!?! Go buy her the biggest Tonka Truck you can find and dig holes on the back yard and move dirt with it!!! Geez, Stu!!! What were you thinking?!?!?

 

I thought that was a given. My bad. By all means, teach her to be a Tomboy, to fight, fish, hunt and take care of herself. But I made the mistake in my last marriage of not learning to do the Barbie thing. C'mon, Liz, admit it, you still like playing dress up! Of course, 'dress up' for you these days includes a safety harness and a tool belt, or a SCOTT pack and a fire hose. (Which most of us find incredibly hot, BTW)

 

Ha! Ha!! Ha!!! Yeah, I'll give you that!!! Still does NOT include, flowers, lace or anything frilly though!!!