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Contactors are bigger "relays" where usually a block of contacts move together. A relay is usually a set of spring contacts that warp to make contact. Anyway, here's a pic of the solution for me, once I find a place to mount it. One relay each for high beam, low beam, l. turn. r. turn, 4way, and running lights. All fed from a 30 Amp upfitter switch. (By the way, the upfitter switch relay panel has a ground wire that can be switched to disable all the upfitter switches at the same time).
I wired my off road lamps into through a relay that's triggered with the high beams. My off road lamps are 150 watts.when my high beams are on I can flip a switch and turn them on,and when I dim my lights they go off automaticly.