Tell your funniest stories guys. I'll start,

I was up at Auto Zone once. Guy drives up in a late model Camaro with a very loud rod knock. Wants to know what oil additive will fix the knock. The clerk was trying to explain to him that the engine is bad and there's no additive that can fix the knock, and he should plan on a new engine or a rebuild very soon.
Guy argues with the clerk and accuses him of trying to sell him a new engine, and oil additves will fix that because he saw it on TV
Anyway Mr Camaro buys the additive puts it in his car and takes off.
Down the road I see the Camaro on the side of the road with a trail of oil behind it.
I didn't see the guy, maybe he walked back to Autozone to buy some JB weld to put his motor back together ?

 

Kid in the local A.P. store excitedly talking with his buddies and pointing at a fart-can muffler hanging on the wall, and saying it was, "going to give my civic 55 more HP!" and another piped up about "Carbon fiber body panels" that make it impossible for the cops to get a radar reading on you!.

 

Does that include customers too?

 

Customers, employees, doesnt matter.

 

Many stories come to mind but anyway....

The turn signal flasher went out on my F150. Went to my dealer and they were out of stock and would have it the next day. I needed it that instant because i was driving to South Carolina that afternoon. Went to the local Auto Zone, told the little girl behind the counter my trucks information, "yes its a 2WD" and she went and brought my an old style flasher like the one on my Ranchero. I told her that the flasher on my truck was a relay style and that I had a part # for the new one that apparantly slipped her mind. Three tries later and after the assistance of the manager, i walked to the aisle where the light bulbs were and in a dark corner BINGO: theres my flasher!

I'll think of more later!

 

The best person to deal with at any auto parts store is the old guy who's been there forever. Guys like that know there stuff. Even if I have to stand in a longer line at NAPA I go to the same old guy whos been there 30 years. Those guys will blow the dust off the old books and don't rely on a computer.
Few years back I was working on my ex son in laws Ford truck. For some reason a previous owner installed a 250 cid 6 cylinder car engine in it, not a 240 or 300.
At the parts store all the guy knew was the computer and to tell me they didnt have a 250 listed for a F series pickup, he kept arguing with me on getting a part number listed for Ford truck rather then a 250 cid valvecover gasket from say a Granada or a Maverick like I suggested.

 

My favourite encounter with a parts guy: I needed replacement wiper blades for my pickup. Normally they'd have them out on the shelves, right? Well, this time they did'nt, so I asked the guy at the counter.

Me: "I need some wiper blades."

Guy: "Okay, what's the vehicle?"

Me: "Ford Ranger"

Guy, typing on the computer by now: "What year?"

Me: "1994"

Guy, typing away at a pretty good rate now: "Regular or extended cab?"

Me, a bit confused about what cab length has to do with windshield wipers: "Regular."

Guy, typing away and never looking up at me: "And what size engine?"

At this point I told him to forget about it and decided I better get outta there before my IQ got so low I would'nt be able to remember how to get home.

 

I went to a salvage yard, looking for an alternator bracket. I wanted to mount it on the driver's side, and in this case, stock was on the passenger's side. So I was looking for an alternative that would allow me to switch it over. The guy told me he couldn't help me. I asked why not and he said "Ya dummy, if you mount it on the other side it will turn in the wrong direction!"

OK.................

 

Good one!, Some people can only think in 2 dimensions! Dumb and dumber.

 

almost sounds like one of our customers... I could tell a lot of stories, but it isn't a good idea to go on too much. One customer tried taking the fill hose off an a/c can that he had already pierced.... INSIDE THE STORE! It was still largely full, and he had no clue how to hook it up, use it, or otherwise... I tried to talk him out of doing nay of it just because it was obvious he had no idea, but he insisted, then he comes back in and does that...
with our liberal return policy, we get people that wreck their cars or blow them up bring in parts to return that they had put on because "they don't need them any more"

 

I went to AZ a few days ago to get the vacuum valve from the ranger to put on my 350s heater hose.
I park in front of the store and when I get in the guy asks how he can help me it went something like this;

Cashier: how can I help you?

Me: I need the vacuum valve that’s on a ford ranger’s heater core hose.

Cashier: But you drive a SD?

Me: (thinking "it must be illegal now to own more than one vehicle) yep but I'm installing it as an aftermarket type thing.

Cashier: Well let’s see what we have. (He starts typing on the computer and I can see he is putting the SD info in)

Cashier: Well it doesn’t look like we have anything.

Me: because it did not come installed on a SD I want the one off the ranger!

Cashier: Why do you want to put something off a ranger on a SD?

Me: (I tell him the story about why)

Cashier: Well there must be a reason Ford didn’t put it in the SD. I bet if you put it in it will cause the SD to over heat (looking really proud of himself for coming up with that load of crap)

Me: Well ill give it a try anyways, if it over heats ill just put it back the way it was.

Cashier: Well if I were you I would take this (hands me a piece of what looks like 3/8" heater hose) and put it from the out put of the water pump to where the output of the heater core is.

Me: but then I will lose all the coolant out of the heater core and will never be able to have heat.

Cashier: (looking puzzled) Well I think I have just what you need follow me. (we walk over to row 6) here I bet this would work (he hands me a "T" fitting)

Me: I don’t think this is going to work to shut off the flow of coolant to the heater core.

Cashier: Well let’s look in the computer again

Cashier: (like a trained monkey) what’s the make model and year of the vehicle?

(I should have left but being unemployed I have lots of time to kill)

Me: it’s a ford ranger something in the 2003 year range

Cashier: What do you want again?

Me: (thinking "I want a cashier with a clue") I want a valve

Cashier: What type?

At this point I just backed away and answered my Silent phone and walked out the store.


That was really long but sometimes the guys working there only know how to punch keys on a computer.

 

I understand your frustration, but...this is a case I wouldn't have a problem with. Why? Those who can memorize thousands upon thousands of part numbers are a rare breed. The rest have to rely on the computer system, which is not necessarily optimized--meaning it narrows down the vehicle BEFORE selecting the type of part, instead of asking for the type of part, then narrowing down the range of vehicles with questions on body style and equipment.

However, sometimes the computer is not always right. When the tranny in my '96 Grand Caravan grenaded (first year of that era of body style), I started by doing a fluid and filter change to see if that would fix it. So I walk out with the filter and gasket kit. When I get back to my friend's garage, it's obvious it's the wrong kit, so I take it back, no problem, stuff happens. Unfortunately, the girl at the counter starts arguing with me that it's the right one because that's what the computer said. Knowing what tranny I had, I figured the kit was for the 31TH tranny (3-speed, hydraulic, no OD), when my tranny was the 41TE (3+1, electronic). Finally, I convinced her that there was no way in Hades that gasket was going on the pan I had, so I got her to look up the kit for the same minivan in a '97--this time it was correct.

Now, I wouldn't have minded so much, except that I've turned my own wrenches quite a bit. I'm no mechanic, mind you--I still have a lot to learn, but usually I know when parts aren't right, especially gaskets. So I get a little frustrated when a pimply teenager parts-store clerk starts to tell me I have the right part when I know I don't.

Thankfully, we have a CarQuest here with a bunch of former mechanics working the counter, and a machine shop in the back. The times I don't go there are when they're closed--they have "Mom&Pop" type hours.

Jason

 

Local Checker store, I walk in and an old guy I already know is super slow is behind the counter. The Autozone is just next door, and I want to bolt from the store, but he sees me and asks if I need any help. I am too polite this time, and allow him to look up an air cleaner for an '01 F-150 5.4L. The most common part on the planet, right? He looks it up in, oh, maybe 5 minutes of CSI computer work. We proceed to the shelf, and he points me out a square filter. I know it takes a waffle-cone shaped filter, but he insists this is the right one. My politeness quotient is used up, I exit the store, stop next door and get the correct part in 30 seconds.

 

You gotta be kidding me ! After its been used or dirty it shouldn't be returnable.
What auto parts store do you work at if you don't mind me asking ?

On another note about 20 years ago I used to go to a small auto parts store thats long gone and they had a display of a vented rotor broke in two and it read "Sorry mam, we can't turn this rotor"
They told me someone really brought it in like that wanting it turned.

 

Oh, we don't get everything back, had just had one try to return a battery stating that he had blown it up and didn't need it any more. They usually try to claim the part is defective, but some actually tell us that they don't need them any more. But one call to corporate, (Autozone) and we get reamed for not returning it, but some we just have to refuse... I turned them down on the battery, but they do try to return them. I just told them that we don't rent out batteries, it is his unless it is defective. Our lifetime parts are covered for as long as they own the vehicle, not so much the life of the part. Swap out worn brake pads almost daily.