Application Form
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Hotshot
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 11,537
Likes: 27
From: Long Beach, Ms.
Application Form
<center>APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.</center> 1. Name :_________________________________________________ _
Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________
Drivers license #______________________________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________
City/ State____________________________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain: __________________________________________________ _______________________
__________________________________________________ _______________________
8. Number of years parents married :_________________________________________________ _________
9. Do you own a van ?______
A truck with oversized tires ?______
A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?
______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
__________________________________________________ _____________________________________
14. Church you attend :_________________________________
How often you attend :_______________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you get to grow up ? _______________________________________________
Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is __________________________
If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is her
_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. )
I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.
Signature (that means your name, moron)
__________________________________________________ ____
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing ifyou are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write.
If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.
APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
[/SIZE]
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.</center> 1. Name :_________________________________________________ _
Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________
Drivers license #______________________________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________
City/ State____________________________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain: __________________________________________________ _______________________
__________________________________________________ _______________________
8. Number of years parents married :_________________________________________________ _________
9. Do you own a van ?______
A truck with oversized tires ?______
A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?
______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
__________________________________________________ _____________________________________
14. Church you attend :_________________________________
How often you attend :_______________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you get to grow up ? _______________________________________________
Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is __________________________
If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is her
_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. )
I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.
Signature (that means your name, moron)
__________________________________________________ ____
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing ifyou are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write.
If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.
APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
[/SIZE]
Cargo Master
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,476
Likes: 224
From: Frequently frozen MN
Good plan, but you should know
While you're nailng shut the door, she'll be crawling out the window.
Not that you don't have the best little girl in the world -- just an observation from someone who's lived through the 'wonder years'-- when you wonder if it will ever end.
While you're nailng shut the door, she'll be crawling out the window.
Not that you don't have the best little girl in the world -- just an observation from someone who's lived through the 'wonder years'-- when you wonder if it will ever end.
Lead Driver
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,335
Likes: 6
From: Midwest
my brother handed me a similar version of this 10 years ago when my daughter was born. i framed it and show it to her every now and then so she can have it memorized for when she gets old enough to date.
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Posting Guru
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,140
Likes: 0
From: Louisville,Ky.
I've seen this before,,,,
But the version I read before had the young man fill it out in TRIPLICATE!
Also, had a fellow classmate show it to me,,, he's a MARINE! Instead of the gun case,,,,,, He showed him the SWORD CASE!
But the version I read before had the young man fill it out in TRIPLICATE!
Also, had a fellow classmate show it to me,,, he's a MARINE! Instead of the gun case,,,,,, He showed him the SWORD CASE!
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