no cell phone ,no vidio games nutin like that. ive told all of them that they can have that stuff when there outa school and work to pay for that stuff on there own.

 

No problem, as long as the kid can read and write, that is good enough. School is over-rated. Why do so many parents force their children to take the "main road", so to speak? I say more children should be forced to dig holes 13 hours a day, for 6 days a week. In fact, I believe that 14 to 16 years of age is the perfect time for this. This is the age when our children start thinking they are "God" and know everything. 1 year of solid hard labor might bring them down a notch or two.
Let your child do whatever they want, play video games, eat and drink sugar and fat, take drugs, sleep all day, and **********.
When the child is 18 and has no diploma, no chance to enter college and the military won't even consider recruitment because your kid is pre-diabetic and scored low on the military entrance test, just kick them out and change the locks.

Actually, don't make a stand or an ultimatum, always give the kid a chance to wiggle out of his/her stubborn position.

 

Are you crazy?




You'd let a kid eat fat?

 

My oldest son is the same way! He is almost 27, has his journeyman's electrical license and working on his master's and was reading 5th and 6th grade material in kindergarten and comprehending on that level!

He loves his job plus he taught himself how to weld and is becoming quite the carpenter as well!

He's a far cry different than his half-brother, age 10, that has Asperger's Disorder. While he will do his homework, I have to be close at hand and keep him on task.
I talk to him everyday about the importance of getting a good education and doing his homework and tell him that his homework counts toward his grades. Somedays I feel like I'm just banging my head against a wall!

 

Wish I had an easy answer for you, but I never found anyone that could affect my motivation much when I was in school, and I didn't have much luck in changing the motivation of my kids when they were there. Punishment may get what appears to be results, but they'll only be superficial, IMO. I think the only thing that can affect kids that way (for better or worse) is the kids they hang out with - peer pressure. If I had it to do over again I'd spend more of my time and energy trying to influence who they associated with...

As for why you should study? To keep your options open. A kid may think they want to work with their hands now, but the smartest thing to do is to do the work you want by choice, not because you've got yourself in a corner. A smart/educated person can do the work they choose, an uneducated person will be forever hitting limitations.

The folks that say school is overrated - they have quite simply never gone to the right school and/or never had the right attitude. There's plenty that a good school can teach you - if you're ready to learn...

My .02 worth..

 

This has got to be one of the oddest threads that I've ever seen on this site. You are trying to show your son that homework is important by showing him opinions by total strangers to him? Like he cares what strangers say.

Be his father and be more assertive. Tell him the way it is, and how it's going to be. You are the father and the one in charge of your son.

 

thats almost what he did. I gave him a spade and told him to unload about 10ooo lbs of sawdust out of a 53' trailer.... Sure, I could have given him a grain shovel, or even let him use the skidsteer....

 

I was in college for 10 years. In all those years I wondered how this study/school work would apply to daily life thereafter. I didn't like it, but I did it and you know what? A lot of those exercises get used every day and those that don't? They taught me how to *think* and think better than those around me. In the competitive market that exists today and moreso in the future, these skills is what will differentiate you from all those around you.

A case in point? (One of very many) I know precisely how the length and cross section of an intake runner affect horsepower and torque in an engine and is why I have a 6500 pound Navigator that can scorch a Mustang GT.

 

Gosh, Wizard, there are so many variables.

I think step 1 is to figure out why does your kid hate homework so much?

Is it just pure laziness? Is it from years of discouragement, when having done homework produced no pleasant results? Is it from having never learned work ethic or the simple pleasure of a job well done? Is it from having learned from experience that he can play all he wants with no work? Does he have an undiagnosed learning disability, like dyslexia, that makes trying to do homework a nightmare? Does he believe he has no hope of a better future anyway, so homework is pointless? Has he fallen in with some 'cool' crowd who think they're all too good to fit in to the system?

Usually the solution becomes easy to find if you know what problem there is to solve first.

 

As a teacher, I can offer these words: DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Homework is an extension of school, and prepares you for what is coming the next day; reviews, exams, or the teacher checking to see if you did it. Any of these will contribute to your final grade. I am not a teacher who believes in a great deal of homework, but use it to reinforce what I have taught that day.

 

This is coming from somebody in high school. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Period. I don't know how many times doing my homework has made me do better in class. As for the parents, don't be afraid to hit your kids on the butt. It set me straight.

 

im still tryin to figure it out! when i got devorced back in 99 he lived with his mom up till the begining of last school year he then moved in with me(long story but there better off here) along with his older bro. its ben realy cool getin to know each other again and we're not waistin any time making up for those lost days.

 

aahhh - kid raised by your ex for the last decade - that's a tough one 'cause you probably have limited reliable information on the details of their upbringing on thismatter. You can ask the kids, but of course you know you get their version of it. On top of that gets piled the expectations of the new situation - like, did they come live with you because, even if they don't say so, they thought life with dad was gong to be a party?

And now so many more things to think about. What was the attitude toward working for success in mom's house? Have they even ever learned how to work, what it is to set yourself to a task?

Did mom give them any vision of a future higher than what she attained, or was she a model of discouragement? I know a kid that was once in a similar situation. Basically grew up with the model that becoming a grocery check-out girl like mom was as high as anyone needed to aim, so why try harder?

A good very general point is that kids like these benefit from structure, routine, usually. Clearly defined expectations that are reasonable and attainable. Clearly defined logical consequences when the expectations aren't met. Consistent, even-handed application of both. With a spoonful of "I'm doing this 'cause I care about you."

You got a whole lot of things about your own kids to find out, don't you? Sucks to be a divorced dad these days. But kudos for obviously having kept your life positive enough that once they were old enough to have an opinion of their own they found life with dad attractive. Maybe they just unwittingly changed the course of their lives for the better.