Room mate problems
Senior User
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 361
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I'm sure glad I'm beyond having roomates....I had some good ones but one that was a real PIA & another that stole from me. Not cleaning up after oneself is probably the #1 roomate complaint. You need to set rules & if he can't abide by them give him the heave-ho.
As for the TV use, whoever said it raises the cable & electric, I don't see how (unless he's using pay-per-view). Most TV's use no more electric when they're on than off (I know that sounds crazy but it's true...ask your electric co. about that). Also, turning your TV on & off several times a day is harder on it than just leaving it on (again, check this out for yourself...I often leave mine on all the time since learning this).
Anyhoo, I happen to like falling asleep with the TV on myself, but I always keep the volume real low...he should at least be required to do that. Good luck.
As for the TV use, whoever said it raises the cable & electric, I don't see how (unless he's using pay-per-view). Most TV's use no more electric when they're on than off (I know that sounds crazy but it's true...ask your electric co. about that). Also, turning your TV on & off several times a day is harder on it than just leaving it on (again, check this out for yourself...I often leave mine on all the time since learning this).
Anyhoo, I happen to like falling asleep with the TV on myself, but I always keep the volume real low...he should at least be required to do that. Good luck.
Posting Guru
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,254
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From: Location, Location.
1. Make a real effort to resolve your differences amicably. Take care to approach it in the spirit of "there are things we see differently, I'm interested in reaching a compromise that takes both our living habits into consideration." Don't appear to be saying his living habits are wrong and yours are right. Make sure you are as calm, rational and concilliatory as possible.
2. Now look at the result. If you came out with something you can live with, perfect. If you still hate what living with this person is going to look like, then accept that some people just aren't meant to share a living space. It's not that anyone's a big jerk - somehwere out there there's someone else who would be happy to live the same way as him. But you may not be that person. In that case, you have to choose between hating your living arrangements or changing them.
2. Now look at the result. If you came out with something you can live with, perfect. If you still hate what living with this person is going to look like, then accept that some people just aren't meant to share a living space. It's not that anyone's a big jerk - somehwere out there there's someone else who would be happy to live the same way as him. But you may not be that person. In that case, you have to choose between hating your living arrangements or changing them.
Postmaster
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,004
Likes: 1
From: North of Boston MA
The bottom line in my opinion is who's name is on the lease or rental agreement. If it is your apartment and he is living with you than you can make some demands on his behavior. If you are both on the lease than he kinda has the right to be a peckerhead within the terms of the lease.
Can you afford to foot the entire bill if he leaves or could you manage a place on your own? All things you need to consider before ultimatums start flying.
Is it worth losing a friend over minor annoyances?
Good luck.
Can you afford to foot the entire bill if he leaves or could you manage a place on your own? All things you need to consider before ultimatums start flying.
Is it worth losing a friend over minor annoyances?
Good luck.
Thread Starter
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Elder User
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 502
Likes: 1
From: Middle of South Dakota
> He saids that he cant sleep without the tv on for some reason
I know some people like that. My solution if I valued the person as a friend, would be to buy a cheap $50 TV off CL and install it in his bedroom or buy a TV video card for his PC if he has one in his room and run a line to it.
I know some people like that. My solution if I valued the person as a friend, would be to buy a cheap $50 TV off CL and install it in his bedroom or buy a TV video card for his PC if he has one in his room and run a line to it.
who's name is on the lease or rental agreement. If it is your apartment and he is living with you than you can make some demands on his behavior. If you are both on the lease than he kinda has the right to be a peckerhead within the terms of the lease.
Well my roommate that i share a room with is kind of pissed about all the same things that is happening. Him and I have been talking about it and were going ask him to at least clean up after himself and also make a list of rules. I we can live with him sleeping out in the living most of the time but not all of the time. Other than that we are perfectly fine if we can work this out.
Thank you for all the advice. It helped me determine what to do and what not to do. I'll let you guys know how it goes down next week when we site down and talk to him.
Post Fiend
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 13,873
Likes: 3
From: Atlanta GA
> He got a T.V about the same size in his room. Its like a 30 or so inch.
You know what, sounds like a security problem and him not being able to go to sleep being by himself. He probably is almost terrified being alone and that is why he needs the TV on and to be out in the living room.
Being messy is many times a sign of depression too. I have cleaned up more then one house for a person that was depressed after a daughter or husband has died, they can't put a single thing away or throw anything out. You have to sit down and ask their permission to throw out 5 year old utility bills, one by one, while convincing them why they don't need it anymore. Usually you can find clothes everywhere except in drawers and food on tables while the trash can sits empty.
Him being your friend, I would suggest you approach this from the view of being perhaps a bit mentally ill vs. a lazy inconsiderate jerk.
You know what, sounds like a security problem and him not being able to go to sleep being by himself. He probably is almost terrified being alone and that is why he needs the TV on and to be out in the living room.
Being messy is many times a sign of depression too. I have cleaned up more then one house for a person that was depressed after a daughter or husband has died, they can't put a single thing away or throw anything out. You have to sit down and ask their permission to throw out 5 year old utility bills, one by one, while convincing them why they don't need it anymore. Usually you can find clothes everywhere except in drawers and food on tables while the trash can sits empty.
Him being your friend, I would suggest you approach this from the view of being perhaps a bit mentally ill vs. a lazy inconsiderate jerk.
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