I was having thoughts tonight...

Friday was Halloween, there were no trick or treaters, it was raining and there was fog. When I was younger(I'm only 30!) nothing would stop me and my friends from getting all that free candy. The fog would even be a bonus as we would get ahead of, or circle behind, the group of us to scare each other. Our parents had this thing called trust, with more than 4 of us together they knew we would be fine. We wouldn't just go for an hour either. Dark or light, in wet of night, stay in sight, this eve of night, Halloween started as early as 4:45pm and went until 8:30pm, we would always try to get as many streets in as we could for more candy. This in a town of hills with widely spaced street lights(only on corners at the time I believe, when drivers could be trusted to use their headlights in the dark on a straight stretch of road!)

What the ! happened? Has the "programming" of fear pervaded through the parental society that deeply, that on the one night of the year it is(has been) socially accepted to go out in wacky costumes, that a fun experience has been taken away from the youth?(I don't have my own offspring yet)

What happened to trust or going with your kids?
What happened to turning off the TV?
What happened to "it's only rain"?
What happened to showing off, one-upping your friend with your cool costume?
What happened to fun?

Or am I wrong and all the youth are now raised too scared to brave the rain, fog and dark?

Is this from the media, the schools or the parents?

Do youth not like candy anymore?

Have I asked too many questions? Not enough?

Trust your kids, they will be all right. Do not teach them fear, teach them confidence in themselves. Teach them to be themselves. Teach them to think without the TV or newspaper, to make intelligent choices.

Teach them to believe in themselves first, above all else! Self confidence is the hardest thing to find later in life, do them this greatest of small favours to let them appreciate life in all its fullest...please.

 

well, the sex offender registry is online now.....

When I was a trick or ttreatin '85 - '95 It was almost always gloomy,foggy and cold -- thats what made it fun.

We moved into our house 3 years ago. this was the first year we got more than 1/2 a dozen trick or treaters. ....But the neighbors saw a school bus droppiong kids off to trick or treat in our neighborhood.

 

Most people take their kids to halloween parties instead.

In Sumter, SC...a family was gunned down as they approached a house about 8:30pm. They thought it was fireworks at first, but then realized someone inside the house was firing at them. A 12-year old boy was killed, and his father and the boy's sibling were wounded.

When I was a kid, we were on military bases (safer), and trick or treating was a big event, and no big deal regarding 'safety'.

 

In some cases I think the parents can recall some of the things they did on Halloween night, and want to keep their kids from possibly doing the same stuff.......

 

It's not a matter of distrusting your children. It's a matter of protecting them.

The world is a different place than it was when you and I were kids.

 

Not really a matter of trust with me or my kids. they elected to go to a party this year instead of trick or treating,and ended up having more fun than if they went trick or treating ,and ended up with just about as much candy as well.

 

I have always let my girls now 25,23,20 and 12 make decisions Imay not have liked but they needed to learn the lesson from it. While I would not let them get "hurt" I did step back and say run with it. (no not scissors either lol) I did not want girls who were prissy, chicken butts I wanted daughters who could stand up for themselves, make choices and know there consequences for their actions and that they needed to step out into the world and know there were things to fear but not everything is something to fear.
They are all strong young women who know a creep from a nice guy, who know what is right and wrong and who know what can get them into trouble and what wont.
People have always asked me how I could let my 12 y/o play football on all male teams. Arent you scared? they always ask. I say no because she knows the rules, she knows the game, she isnt put in there blind and it is a sport with risks. She is also a junior champion jumper (horses) she jumps with horses full speed over 4' jumps and also does cross country. She has had head injuries (she ALWAYS wears a helmet and a riding vest) but arms still break etc. She knows her "job" she knows equine safety and while I know the worst can happen I cannot keep her in a bubble. At 1o y/0 she was riding all the bad boy ponies as we called them the ones the non risk taking parents wouldnt let their kids ride. She became the better rider because of it. I have people say well you know Christopher Reeve died due to a fall from a horse. I say yes and children die in car accidents but we still use our cars, kids die from falling on skateboards, skates etc but we still let them go out on them. If we didnt take risks, if we didnt "live" we would all be blithering idiots.
I loved to take the kids trick or treating and didnt fear them going out alone. I let them take their dogs for walks, I let them walk to friends houses. They are all stronger because I let them venture out into the real world. I just gave them the tools to do so as safely as possible. We do not live in a risk free world. We live in a world where danger abounds. But we cannot keep them in the house sitting in a padded room. I cant tell you how many times I told my girls growing up "Unless you are bleeding profusely or have a Pit Bull hanging from your neck do not come crying to me" It wasnt to be mean I just didnt want them to think that every bump or bruise was a cause for panic. I tell the school nurses who call and say "well your daughter bumped her arm and wont let us put an ice bag on it" to let her be and do not take her out of her class. She will let you know if she is really hurt. the school freaks out. Why? because the majority of parents are raising sissies who think a bump or bruise is cause for great alarm.
We are raising kids in a society that the child is not responsible for their actions and that most everything is bad and needs to be treated as such.
My girls can all change a tire check their oil, make doctors appts (yes even my 12 y/o calls and makes her own orthodontists appointments etc. But they are still loving, caring girls. They are emotional when they need to be. They are strong when they need to be. They will make mistakes as I said earlier but at least when they make them they are not so protected they freak out when they do or require someone else to fix it for them.
It is all how we raise them. It is all what WE as parents instill in them. The way they fear things etc is how they handle fear. The way we let the leash up is how far they will go.
Okay I know maybe not exactly like what the OP was talking about but its my take on it. Kids today just do not know how to have the "fun" like we had when we were kids because of how society in a whole has become. I for one refuse to be thrown into that mold nor will I let my kids suffer that fate.

 

Here in the south the problem isn't a lack of trick or treaters, there are plenty. Its a lack of homes that are giving out candy. A bunch of snobby, superstitious religious folks and their self-righteous preaching against Halloween has turned them int Grinch's.

Kids aren't the problem. They are the products of the parents up bringing and anyone blaming them ought to take a look in the mirror and take responsibility. My kids are responsible, well behaved, stay out of trouble, respectful, get good grades and have a lot of fun. The things other kids do, and "society", well... my kids live in the same American society yet they are still responsible, well behaved, stay out of trouble, respectful, get good grades and have lots of fun.... anyone blaming society for the problems their kids are having are just dodging their own guilt.

If parents are too lazy to walk with their kids because its a little gloomy outside, shame on them!

I don't see this as a trust/confidence issue. I see it as a competence issue.

 

I'm with Snowbunny on this one. Today the world is nothing like when I was a kid. No one thought of giving treats with drugs or poison in them. Kids were not abducted off their own streets. And kids getting raped or molested was unheard of. But this is 2008, and unfortunately these things do occur. It's not a case of mistrust, it is a case of protecting those who you love.

 

Buck. I've been hearing about the 'razor-blade-in-the-apple' urban legend since I was a kid trick-or-treating.......We're talking the 70s then.....-early and mid-70s......

Damn....I wish I could remember the stat, but they found, I think.....3 or 4 deliberate cases of some sort of booby-trapping of halloween candy in the last 10 years........

The bigger danger in urban areas is teens committing robberies while wearing halloween masks......or beating kids trick-or-treating for their goodies. This stuff doesn't happen too much (I'm not painting a gloomy picture or anything)......

We weren't escorted by parents when I did it. Again....mid 70s......military base (Cherry Point)....The only 'danger' we faced were the 'perennial' razor-blade-in-the-apple stories....(haha).......That one got worn out even back then......along with the kid that everyone heard about who had his arm stuck out of a school bus window and got it ripped off when it hit a telephone pole rounding a corner.......(anyone ever meet any one-armed kids who lost it doing this?.......).....

 

hoosierbaby64

exactly!

raise them right, focus on them-not the world around them, raise them right and they will know how to deal with the world.

right on!

 

a few 18 packs of eggs and water ballon launchers would fix that....



about the razor blade /aple thing. My parents warned us as well, they weould also "look over" our candy before we ate it.... But hell, with all the crap coming from china, it may be worse now

 

Now see I was smart I told my kids early on that mister goodbars and krackles were poisonous and they were to put them in a certain tupperware immediately.
I could have busted the kids butt that ate a mister goodbar in front of them years later and didnt die

 

Its an urban legend:

snopes.com: Halloween Poisonings

It goes as far back as the early 70s. My parents always checked the candy way back then because a friend of a friend heard from a co-worker who heard from his brother that a cop told him someone put a razor blade in an apple or poisoned some candy. Funny thing... the actual cases of this happening are never reported.

Children have been disappearing for as long as there have been children. It wasn't until the Walsh case that it got widespread media attention.

In the past it was whispered about, now its blasted on the evening news. Human nature, both the good and evil parts of it, haven't changed. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

 

I had to work,but I had a trusted Friend take my kids trick or treating. I live in a relatively small town (about 30,000) and not a whole lot of bad things happen here but they do happen from time to time. Anyway Halloween has always been a blast for my kids but myself or this year a responsible adult has always been with my kids.