Dog Property Laws
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Senior User
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 363
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From: Woodbridge
Dog Property Laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, IT'S YOURS.
Senior User
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 448
Likes: 1
From: Chimacum/Jefferson County
Dog Property Laws
[updated:LAST EDITED ON 21-Nov-02 AT 02:26 PM (EST)]>
>Think like a dog...
>
>If you cant eat it, or (mate with) it, then **** on it!
>
>My apologies!.. hope the language is passable here..
Hehehehehhe Thats funny. That sounds like one of my dogs.
77 F250 Highboy 4X4
"The Money Pit"
"If it wasn't for Chevy's my tools would rust"
https://www.ford-trucks.com/user_gallery/displaythumbnail.php?&photoid=10344&.jpg
>Think like a dog...
>
>If you cant eat it, or (mate with) it, then **** on it!
>
>My apologies!.. hope the language is passable here..
Hehehehehhe Thats funny. That sounds like one of my dogs.
77 F250 Highboy 4X4
"The Money Pit"
"If it wasn't for Chevy's my tools would rust"
https://www.ford-trucks.com/user_gallery/displaythumbnail.php?&photoid=10344&.jpg
Fleet Owner
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 29,941
Likes: 46
From: Drummonds, TN USA
Dog Property Laws
Here's the full version:
~Dog Philosophy~
DOG PROPERTY LAWS:
If I like it, it is mine.
If it is in my mouth, it is mine.
If I can take it from you, it is mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it is mine.
If it is mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If I am chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
If it just looks like mine, it is mine.
If I saw it first, it is mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it is broken, it is yours.
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME:
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both mark their territory.
Neither tells you what is bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither do any dishes.
Both fart shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your haircut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the mail carrier.
Neither understands what you see in cats.
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN:
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you are gone.
Dogs feel guilty when they have done something wrong.
Dogs admit when they are jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there is a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
Dogs understand what "no" means.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN:
A dog's parents will never visit you.
A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
A dog never expects you to telephone.
A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
A dog does not shop.
LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM A DOG:
If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you will get what you want.
Do not go out without ID.
Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.
When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
~Dog Philosophy~
DOG PROPERTY LAWS:
If I like it, it is mine.
If it is in my mouth, it is mine.
If I can take it from you, it is mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it is mine.
If it is mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If I am chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
If it just looks like mine, it is mine.
If I saw it first, it is mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it is broken, it is yours.
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME:
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both mark their territory.
Neither tells you what is bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither do any dishes.
Both fart shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your haircut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the mail carrier.
Neither understands what you see in cats.
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN:
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you are gone.
Dogs feel guilty when they have done something wrong.
Dogs admit when they are jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there is a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
Dogs understand what "no" means.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN:
A dog's parents will never visit you.
A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
A dog never expects you to telephone.
A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
A dog does not shop.
LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM A DOG:
If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you will get what you want.
Do not go out without ID.
Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.
When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
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