There are several types of drivers out there. When you live in a major city, you will most likely see each one of them every day. I will try my best not to apply racial bias to any of these. However, every other type of prejiduce is open game.

1: Most common, it seems, are the cell phone junkies. They can be both male and female, and range up to 40 years of age. However, the majority of these are girls/women ranging from 16-26 years of age. These people find it physically impossible to seperate one or more of their appendages from their cell phone. While the males in this category tend to constantly move the cell phone from their hand to the center console and back again, females will clutch to their phone as though their hearts would cease to beat if they lost physical contact with their bridge to the outside world. This behavior, for both males and females, often leads to slow, uncertain driving, changing lanes without signaling, making abrupt turns, and being totally oblivious to the foul language and dirty looks that are being directed at them.

2: The second most common are the tourists. Although, not all of these people are actually tourists. Many of them have lived in the immediate area for many years, yet they are constantly on the look-out for new, intersting things that might be taking place somewhere other then where they are. These people want to know what is going on around them and they are often the cause of rubbernecking at accidents, police pullovers, and anywhere that there is something on the road that normally would not be there. Tourists think that everything not happening directly infront of them is more interesting than what they are doing. Their driving exhibits many of the characteristics of the cell-phone junkies.

3: Sunday drivers. You know who they are. They drive slower than everyone else. EVERYONE. It makes no nevermind to them what lane they are riding in, they refuse to travel faster than anyone around them. They could be driving a Honda S2000 and be getting tailgrabbed by a big rig with his highbeams on and blowing his horn, this fuel conserving feather foot is gonna keep playing putt-putt until he/she gets a ticket for impeding the flow of traffic.

4: The dreaded two-footer. These people have the strongest abs in the world because they never let either foot rest on the floorboard. With one foot on the gas and one on the brake, their brake lights flicker constantly. Are they stopping? NO! THEY'RE NOT! THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH OF BRAKE-HAPPY S.O.B.s! If anything will rack your nerves, its riding behind this guy while he is wondering why his front rotors are constantly needing to be replaced. Mmmmm, dont you just love the smell of brake dust in the morning.

5: The cool guy. He's young, he's tough, he drives a Camaro that he got for his birthday. He wears American Eagle clothes, stops at Starbucks every morning on his way to school, and he sits infront of the mirror every morning for an hour, spiking his hair. Better look out, he's got Flowmaster 40's, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!! He'll never feel a drop of hot grease land behind his Oakley's cause every inch of work on this hot rod was done my someone else. His car must be pretty awsome. He's gone through two rear-ends, three transmissions, and seven clutch plates in two years. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that he sucks at driving a standard. You'll never get stuck behind him, cause he punches it around every corner, and then he gets caught by the sunday driver and you can pass him easily.

6: High school girls. Yes, they have their own category. They easily blend with the cell phone junkies. However, these girls are young and rebellious. Often driving bare-foot, these ladies are always doing something else while driving. Talking on the phone, text messaging, digging through their purse, checking out the guy next to them, trying to race someone, and even driving with one foot propped up on the dash. They often drive around jamming to the latest songs on the local rock station. These chicks rear end more people than anyone else because they like to see how close they can get to the person in front of them.

Thats all for now, tired of typing.

 

I've dodged alot of accidents in 35 years of driving. The closest came with a car 100 yards away that started to creep across the center line. I had no shoulder. The closer it came, I saw:

Blonde. Left hand with cell pressed to ear. Eyes fixed on headliner. Right hand, palm up, gesturing wildly. Shoulders shruging in time to her gesturing.

Just before impact, I lay onto horn. She notices, grabs center of wheel with palm of right hand and starts blowing her horn. I guess she twisted the wheel hub like a **** cause her car starts to move barely back in the direction of her lane. Conversation never stops. As she passes my big, hard to miss seeing E-150 service van, she gives me the "you moron" sneer. For the first time the cell barely moves from the ear as she flips her middle finger up while still clutching it to tell me what she thinks of my daring to blow my horn at her.

Gawd I hope she hasn't reproduced to pollute the gene pool.

 

I got a couple more.. these types are all too common in my neck of the woods.

The Left Lane Hog:
This type always drives in the left lane, but rarely does much over the speed limit. As soon as they get on the hwy they have to get to that left lane as soon as possible and will stay there loafing along oblivious to the mile long line of cars behind them that have somewhere to go. No amount of horn blasting or or light flashing will convince them to move over, so just give up and go around at the first opportunity. The male version of this driver will floor his vehicle and try to prevent you from passing him.

The Pointless Tailgater:
This driver is most often women, but not always. It doesn't matter how fast you are going they have to be 12" from your bumper at all times. And it also doesn't matter if there is room for them to pass you, they won't. This driver causes a lot of accidents and has the dented vehicles to prove it. You want to get the hell away from this driver by accelerating through a couple corners(they usually slow down for corners), or by passing another vehicle. If this isn't possible you have to stop in the middle of the road and let them pass you.

 

The people that are in MY way on MY road. What the hell is wrong with these people....GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!

 

 

Ahhhh,

The woman in my story was a relative...

 

Lets not forget the driver who drives like Lt. Frank Bullitt in a '68 Mustang,
as though he's chasing, oh, lets say a '68 Dodge Charger.

Want to know what it feels like jumping those hills?

 

There is the opposite of #4, the A-hole that goes 5 over the speed limit until he is 30' from his turn, then slams on the brakes and manages to hit the turn signal for a split second before he physically turns. This person usually cuts you off 35' from said turn.

I've also seen many stereotypes that pertain to what kind of vehicle you drive. As a whole Suburban and Yukon drivers are the absolute biggest asses in the world. Lately I have noticed Dodge Diesels and '97-'03 F150's joining that crowd as well. Also, Subaru Forester and Outbacks are all driven by women with 18 dogs that are guaranteed to either cut you off and go 90mph or go 30mph all the time, either way they will drive you nuts.

Just thought of another type we get out here on the open interstates. People who, for some reason, refuse to use their cruise control. I can come up to them pretty fast, meaning they are going well slower than I. All of the sudden when you get right by them they start speeding up and will not let you pass. As soon as you finally manage to get around them they drop back in a hurry because they realized how fast they sped up when you were trying to get around them. My only answer is they don't use CC or are completely worthless humanbeings that just can't stand being passed. I actually had one guy up to 90+mph one time that would not let me get around him, even though he was doing around 70mph when I ran up on him on a 75mph road.

 

I'm not even going to get into this. I moved out of the metro area 10 years ago and am never going back.

 

Ok just one... the people who forget how to drive on snowy roads EVERY YEAR. There are lots of these out there, I just laugh when they pass me and 5 miles later they're in the ditch. A few times I've given them the wave or honk as I go by.

 

I've been in so many near wrecks that would have been wrecks if i wasn't paying attention. My truck has been in two collisions since i started driving, one was my fault cause i wasn't paying attention to the lady infront of me who decided to stop in the turn lane to yield to traffic that wasn't even coming yet.

The other was some dumb teenage blonde wearing those giant, bug-eye, aviator-wannabe sunglasses that crack ***** celebrities wear to make their drug addictions less obvious. She had been riding my back bumper for several miles and stopping WAY too close behind me at every light. Then, as we were sitting in the turn lane to turn into the college, i feel a slight thud. I look into the rear view mirror just in time to see that "OMFG, HOLY F***** S*** I JUST HIT SOMEONE" expression that teenage girls get because something as simple as not finding the perfect shade of eyeliner will ruin their whole day. I threw it in park, hopped out to look and much to my great pleasure, my trailer hitch had taken a square-shaped layer of paint out of the fiberglass front bumper of her fairly new white Colorado. She timidly opened her door just enough to stick her head out and ask if she had left a mark. I said "Nope, YOU didn't leave a mark" as I got back in and headed off to class.

 

All true so far. I have noticed a certain type of liscense plate to stay away from. Because I live in Indiana, I frequently see Indiana University plates. They usually are on a vehicle driven by a very rude person. They think turn signals are optional. Speed limit signs are a suggestion to them. They change lanes as often as I change my socks! They have prestige! My degree was expensive therefore I am better than you so get out of my way!
I also stay away from semis that have the word "farm" or "farms" on the side. Usually an escapee from the scrapyard driven by a punk kid in a hurry to get back from the elevator for his next load.

 

How about them left lane turners that do not know how to turn without a green flashing light.

You know, the ones that wait behind the stop line while the light is green (not daring to take control of the intersection and nose out), still wait there when it is yellow, then finally decide to go when their light turns red.

Or how about the mergers that dont know how to merge?

They go nice and slow, dont signal, and they never dare to shoulder check, or even see how fast the traffic is they are merging into!

I swear some people forget how to drive the second after they get their licence.

 

Excellent points, they call it an ACCELERATION lane for a reason. The idiots who do not pull out in the intersection to turn then do it on red and screw everyone behind them also drive me nuts.

As for the UI plates I am glad I have UW plates

 

I noticed two relitevly new types recently. I call them the lead footed environmentalist and the whiner!

Mr.footed environmentalist drives a TDI VW or Toyota Prius 92mph down the freeway and leaves everything in their dust at stoplights.

Mr.Whiner likes to drive at the same velocities as Mr.Foot in things like a 4x4 3/4 ton mid 90's dodge with 36" tires and a 360 that's never seen a load in the bed much less a dirt road but wastes no opportunity to complain about the cost of fuel.