Well guys and gals. Just when things were looking better, it all goes down the drain. This time, aint no plunger in the world to keep it from hitting the sewers. Where should I start.....First, settlement from mom dying is going to trial. Will be at least another year before I get anything. Second, had to pick up divorce papers this morning. Wife got caught messing around on me, and trying to lie her way out of it. Papers will be filed, and maybe even finalized next Monday. Last two years years have been no fun. Today is getting wrote on the calander as the worst day of my life. I guess the good part about the settlement delay is, that since I found out now that my marriage is done, she won't be able to take me for half next year. She is going to let me keep my two kids, and she is going to keep my step son. She is going to accept her weekends from work as her time for visitation, and primary custody will be granted to me. She will also allow the oldest (my step son) to come over and stay on the weekends with me to have me and brother/sister time. Why is that things gotta get so messed up with people of my generation? I don't know of a single person my age that hasn't already been divorced, or is a single mom or dad from a premarital mishap. Where did the moral and family values of this nation go? Oh well, just to had vent a bit, don't have many people I can turn to here, except all you all.

 

Hang in there. My divorce was just finalized on the 21st of last month....after two very long years of being separated. My life was on hold. She cheated on me. At least I kept my house, trucks, and all of my retirement. I finally know where I stand. I've got my '56 in the garage (well it's at the paint shop right now) but it's still mine. When I get bummed out, I work on the ol' truck or better yet, take it out for a cruise. I've also got my car club buddies to tip back a few and smoke some cigars with....always looking for the positive. Golf as much as I can and just enjoy life. "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." I also just found out that my ex is pregnant with the kid of the piece of s*** she cheated on me with. Good luck with that one!! Glad it wasn't me. Hang in there!!

 

Hopefully things will only get better for you, you certainly deserve it after all this.

 

Its the Godless world we live in. If this is the worst day of your life, then indeed mark it down as things will get better from here. Keep your head up. I'm am glad that you feel you can vent with us as part of your web family. This is also a good opportunity to expand on that and explore the world around you. Golf,fish,church,bingo,Kroger since you may be cookin more, PTA, kid stuff at school and on and on. My first walked because I paid little attention to her as I had to many cars and trucks. She also left me with 2 kids, 2 and 3 years old. It only cost me 160 grand to get rid of her and it was worth every dime. BUT, I also changed my habits and learned to relax away from the same ol same ol. That was 34 years ago and it gets better so keep your chin up.
Jon

 

Hi wmjoe1953,

I'm kinda new here so I don't want to get out of line, but I thought of something that really helped me start down a better path once. I was having a terrible time and EVERYTHING in my life blew up all at once a few years back.

Then I was talking to a guy who was a "sort of" minister from New Orleans and he told me this. He said healing has to start in the heart, and the only way that happens is to build a healthy heart (emotionally).

When I asked him how that could happen with all the hate and hurt I was feeling he told me it's simple....If I could do this one simple thing twice a day, it would cure me and make the problems not hurt anymore.

He said right after breakfast, and again right when you are laying down to go to sleep, make you rmind go blank and then think of three good things that happened that day, anything (like hearing a nice tune or seeing a pretty flower) - but just good things - and they are out there. Then, think about it and say thank you for them. Just three little things.

In a week or so, start saying "thank you" in a whisper everytime something great happens to you. If you loose your keys and then find then quick, say "thank you."
And pretty soon you'll find yourself saying "thank you" all day long. And the bad stuff seems to get smothered by all those thank you's. It's because you've trained yourself to see the good in your life.

TRY IT, it can only help, right?

Thanks Ford Trucks people!

Juls

 

wmjoe you arent alone bud . i went through a really nasty divorce that took five years to settle and took every penny i had . the ultimate cost is that i have three children i no longer get to see due to accusations by the mother that i had to disprove in court , and did and won . same story here . she found herself another man and was running around on me . it actually at one time put me in the nut ward for a spell . it does / will get better .now myson in law is going through it with my 23 year old daughter . same stuff . i just dont understand it . the bright side is though that i found brenda and despite some stupid lil' issues here and there i got the right one this time , so in my case there was a silver lining of sorts . heads up and the best advice i can give is the best revenge is to live a good life and be happy !

 

I have never been through a divorce but I watched my Brother deal with a terrible divorce.It was really painfull just to see all that happened.At least you will get to keep your settlement and best of all you will have your kids.Hang in there things will get better.We will be here for you.

 

wmjoe,, as the others have said,, It does/will get better. I have been through both good & bad divorces. I have been on my own for 11 yrs now and in my own opinion I am now doing "Great". Hang in there because the kids need you now.

 

I wish I knew.


Hang in there, and good luck.

 

Havi,

My own personal feelings about all of this....and after going through a divorce of my own. I feel that people don't want to work at marriage...they think that a 40 year marriage is going to be like the first month of dating or what they see on TV or in movies. Marriage takes a TON of work from BOTH people....you become friends and business partners as well as lovers, and some people just don't want to put the effort into it. With the divorce rate at 50% in this country, it seems to me like people have flat out gotten lazy. I put in 110% or more in just about everything I do and that included my marriage, but I couldn't do it for the both of us....and she gave up. Oh well, at least now when I want to do something on my '56, I don't have to ask anyone's permission and if I go over budget, it's just me that doesn't eat. Just my two cents worth.

Shane