I am not asking how to fix a relationship....in fact I fear that my last one is not only over....but over....

Anyways, here I am. 25 years old, in college, 2.5 years left for a mechanical engineering degree. (I am ex-military..hence the older age than most students)

I am single for the first time in oh....7 years....I was never good at talkin to women....that has not changed any. I feel kinda weird tryin to flirt with gals that are 5, 6, or 7 years younger than me, as most at this school are.

I am currently willing to accept a casual 'relationship'. for the time being at least, anything right now to keep my mind off my ex, but what I really want, is a serious relationship.

But my problem is, where do I go in a college town to find people near my age who are lookin for a real relationship? I mean, the bar scene just doesn't seem right to look for someone looking for a long term type of thing.

I never expected to be in this situation. I had thought that me and my gal where going to last forever....yeah....I was wrong....but right now, while I do enjoy all the time me and her spend together still, I need to really find someone else to repalce her with before she breaks my heart again by cutting me off 'cause she is with someone else.

So, looking for suggestions from some people around my age to a bit older who understand the situation of being single in a college town while being a bit older than everyone else and maybe lookin for something a bit differant than most out there are right now.

 

Jimmy Dean. I know exactaly where you are at. I was in the same position as you around 25. I broke up with a girl after 6 years. The bar seen isnt anplace to look for a staedy relation ship. It is a good place to find a wife for a night. But if it comes that easy you don't want a relationship with it any way.

I met my wife thru a friend. He kept telling me that he had a cousin that he wanted to meet. I kept putting him off because I was having too much fun messing around. That got old after a while. I was still visiting the ex. She was trying to string me along. When I finially met my wife I stoped fooling with the other women. My ex decided she wanted me back. I told her that after a year of me holding on there wasn't anything to hold on to anymore.

You will meet some one when you least expect it.

P.S. I have a single sister in law that is 25. She use to go to school @ tech in Nat. Now she is in Alex.

 

Yep, That is the same way I met my wife. You never know where you will meet a person, so just keep your eyes open.

 

i had been married for a while im 42 so in your eyes i may be an old fart, but i met my current wife and dated exclusively from the internet. Yeah there are alot of jerks out there male and female but i find the internet good cause you dont have to worry about someone judging you on your looks or clothes you kinda get to know someone first then you meet so you have more a true picture of the person as opposed to their looks.. If not the internet through a friend or maybe a church if that kind of things grabs at you...
on edit ya know when i stopped looking is when i found one to settle down with although these days, it seems harder and harder to find a quality woman

 

i would not worry about it, not being a jerk but you should not think you need to be "in a relationship" at all times. try to enjoy and sit back being single.

heck, my first and only relationship is with my wife, we met and got married when i was 28.

the harder you look, the less likely you will meet, that does not mean not creating opportunity for meeting, just don't go out in life with the sole purpose of finding a mate, most likely you will end up blind to the very bad faults of who ever you meet. other less pc words.....don't become despirate.

bars.....that is a hunting ground, sure, there are many exceptions, this and that but people, especially women, go to bars and nite clubs for one reason...........

 

you don't, the ones who are your age are either "non traditionial students" like yourself, or they got the hell outa there after they graduated, or they couldnt hack it at the college, and live there cause they cant afford to leave, got knocked up, or have some other constraint keeping them in the college town.

 

Holy crap, Batman...you mean she broke up with you and has a new boyfriend, but you're still clinging onto "let's be friends" time until she gives you the final boot??

Long before you have even passing thoughts about a new serious relationship, you gotta deal with getting this one outta your head, man.

She wasn't the right one, otherwise she wouldn't have gone on to some other guy. It doesn't diminish you, she just wasn't the right one. You thought so, but you were mistaken. So now you're free to go find the right one. But not until your head is clear. Not until you're pretty much happy on your own, as your own man. Right now you got too much of yourself wrapped up in this old thing.

That doesn't have to mean being a monk. Sure, date lots of girls. But just date 'em. Promise yourself you won't fall in love with the first one with big brown eyes that treats you nicely.

Where to meet them? Ranger-Bob had a good idea - internet dating. Excellent way to meet girls who want to goout on dates with guys who wnt to go out on dates. I mean, you have trouble talking to girls? Here you have girls who've handed you your introduction - "Hi! I want to go out ona date with a nice guy! Any takers?" Now, to be honest, it CAN be a bit brutal if you take it too seriously. Remember, everyone has "their type", and just as only some girls are giong to be "your type", you are only going to be some girls' type, so don't take it wrong when it doesn't click with 70% of them. But you don;t care - 'cause you're just looking for some pleasant female company for a date or two, right?

Other than that, single women your age are doing one of three things - they're in school, but in the higher programs, grad level; or they've recently finished their undergrad degrees and are hidden in offices getting their careers launched and scoping out the professional guys in their office; or they didn't go to college and are working the cash at the local store, or the bank, or....

But keep in mind - you're now at that age and stage in life where you can make some serious commitments that may affect the next 40 years of your life. Think with the head above the shoulders.

 

Enjoy being single and focus on school. You still have a bunch of time to "find" someone and settle down later. Looking for someone will only make things worse and may be depressing at times. So why go through all this.
I would say forget about your ex, but it was hard for me too. I have been divorced for 7 years and still had feelings for her. Until now.
My current relationship just "happened" I did not expect it or look for it, it just happened.
So this is my advice

Don't look for someone - Let it happen - you will know when she comes along
and another thing - it might take awhile - but it will "happen"

DON'T GO LOOKING

 

Don't be looking ...!


IMO, the best way to find a good person is to volunteer your time to something if you have that spare time.

People who volunteer are natural GIVERS.. and because good relationships are based on mutual respect and giving.....this would be a great place to meet and get to know......like-minded people without searching for them.

Volunteering for a charity before Christmas is a very rewarding experience.

 

It has been a loooooong time, but things seem to have changed in "relationships" ( for one thing, we didn't call them relationships). Back when I was dating, I firmly believed that women were like underware .... they needed to be changed often. Also, if you failed to connect with one, they are like busses ..... if you miss one, another will be along soon.
That worked for me until I met a tall blond who completely changed my thinking ..... we were married 47 years.

 

Don't look for anything and you'll find what you're looking for. I was always looking for a girl, then just plain gave up. Tons of dead end relationships after a few weeks or the usual we should just be friends. Some were her doing, some were mine. After about 8 months of being single my current girlfriend came out of the blue. She was a friend of a friend and for the last tow years we have been going strong. Sometimes when you don't try, things work out better. Just be yourself and see where it all goes.

 

Sometimes volunteers are also clingy co-dependent care-takers, not something you want!

 

Best advice... dont try thats how I met my wife

 

You're in college. Concentrate on that, get out and then start looking. Or better yet, stay single.

 

My man, you are looking at this all wrong. Haven't you ever heard of a rebound chick or FWB? College girls love the ex-military older guy. And the younger girls may be somewhat shallow and inexperienced but they like to party....spread the love around.

Of course I am speaking from experience. I met my wife the first week of my freshman year - she was a 21 year old senior and I was a 24 year old Veteran. I played the field for a couple months (loved it!) but her and I started dating in November and that was it for me. That was in 1989.....

Good luck. You'll find someone when you quit looking.