Best Man Speeches
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Postmaster
Joined: Dec 2003
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From: Honkytonkville
Best Man Speeches
Well this is my first time being a best man and therefore this is my virgin run on the best man speech. I haven't really thought of any great speeches, I'm not much of a talker, and never really took notes at other weddings... Any ideas?
Senior User
Joined: Jun 2006
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just wing it...
sometimes helps to have a few libations beforehand but don't get sloppy!
The standard format is to include a few amusing &/or embarrassing anecdotes about the groom, maybe one about the bride & groom, then of course you have to end with a toast to their good health & longevity as a couple. I've nearly fallen asleep during some...keep it light & brief. If it's immediately before dinner people will just want to eat!
The standard format is to include a few amusing &/or embarrassing anecdotes about the groom, maybe one about the bride & groom, then of course you have to end with a toast to their good health & longevity as a couple. I've nearly fallen asleep during some...keep it light & brief. If it's immediately before dinner people will just want to eat!
Elder User
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I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife every finds out, she'll kill me!
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
Henny Youngman Jokes <!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
Henny Youngman Jokes <!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
Posting Guru
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From: Location, Location.
Here's one I pulled on a buddy some years ago:
Before your speech, discreetly go around the room picking out a half dozen women of all ages with a good sense of humour. Hand each one a key, and tell them to hold on to it, don't tell anyone. When the time comes during your speech, they'll know what to do.
Your speech is the usual drivel about how perfect they are for each other, how in love your buddy is..... but.... he did intimate to you one day that he felt bad about a single solitary moment of weakness in which he once gave one girl the key to his place and invited her over during the engagement. He never followed through on it, she never came, but he's always felt bad about even thinking of such a thing even just that once. And you kow who that girl was - she's here in the room. So, so that they can start their new life together with a clean slate, would that one solitary girl please rise, do the right thing, and return his key...
And a dozen women get up, walk up to the table and place their key down. From the young hotties to his new mother in law.
When I pulled this one, people peed themselves.
Before your speech, discreetly go around the room picking out a half dozen women of all ages with a good sense of humour. Hand each one a key, and tell them to hold on to it, don't tell anyone. When the time comes during your speech, they'll know what to do.
Your speech is the usual drivel about how perfect they are for each other, how in love your buddy is..... but.... he did intimate to you one day that he felt bad about a single solitary moment of weakness in which he once gave one girl the key to his place and invited her over during the engagement. He never followed through on it, she never came, but he's always felt bad about even thinking of such a thing even just that once. And you kow who that girl was - she's here in the room. So, so that they can start their new life together with a clean slate, would that one solitary girl please rise, do the right thing, and return his key...
And a dozen women get up, walk up to the table and place their key down. From the young hotties to his new mother in law.
When I pulled this one, people peed themselves.
decadent and depraved
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,703
Likes: 6
From: Right Behind You
I've been to a few weddings, but never heard a best man speach...at what point do these happen?
Tim
Tim
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Fleet Mechanic
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,385
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From: Mercer County, OH
May you have bread when you are hungry.
Whiskey when you're dry.
Money when you need it.
And friends when you die.
And from now until then may you have many years of happiness, blah, blah, blah....
Whiskey when you're dry.
Money when you need it.
And friends when you die.
And from now until then may you have many years of happiness, blah, blah, blah....
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Fleet Mechanic
Joined: Oct 2002
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From: Mercer County, OH
Originally Posted by fred_79f250
Here's one I pulled on a buddy some years ago:
Before your speech, discreetly go around the room picking out a half dozen women of all ages with a good sense of humour. Hand each one a key, and tell them to hold on to it, don't tell anyone. When the time comes during your speech, they'll know what to do.
Your speech is the usual drivel about how perfect they are for each other, how in love your buddy is..... but.... he did intimate to you one day that he felt bad about a single solitary moment of weakness in which he once gave one girl the key to his place and invited her over during the engagement. He never followed through on it, she never came, but he's always felt bad about even thinking of such a thing even just that once. And you kow who that girl was - she's here in the room. So, so that they can start their new life together with a clean slate, would that one solitary girl please rise, do the right thing, and return his key...
And a dozen women get up, walk up to the table and place their key down. From the young hotties to his new mother in law.
When I pulled this one, people peed themselves.
Before your speech, discreetly go around the room picking out a half dozen women of all ages with a good sense of humour. Hand each one a key, and tell them to hold on to it, don't tell anyone. When the time comes during your speech, they'll know what to do.
Your speech is the usual drivel about how perfect they are for each other, how in love your buddy is..... but.... he did intimate to you one day that he felt bad about a single solitary moment of weakness in which he once gave one girl the key to his place and invited her over during the engagement. He never followed through on it, she never came, but he's always felt bad about even thinking of such a thing even just that once. And you kow who that girl was - she's here in the room. So, so that they can start their new life together with a clean slate, would that one solitary girl please rise, do the right thing, and return his key...
And a dozen women get up, walk up to the table and place their key down. From the young hotties to his new mother in law.
When I pulled this one, people peed themselves.
The Pacifier
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,245
Likes: 7
From: Cloverdale, BC
Not a few. Stop at one before your speech, just to take the edge off. Any more than that, people will notice. But, keep a glass of water handy, and your glass of champagne/sparkling wine ready for the toast to the bride at the end of your speech.
You can actually google best man speeches. I did, found a format I liked, made some adjustments to the actual content, changed names to protect the innocent... Worked for me. I then had to google a groom's speech for my buddy when he got married. Same thing, change the content to apply to him. But his wife will never know.
You can actually google best man speeches. I did, found a format I liked, made some adjustments to the actual content, changed names to protect the innocent... Worked for me. I then had to google a groom's speech for my buddy when he got married. Same thing, change the content to apply to him. But his wife will never know.
Moderator
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 164,377
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From: MA
Originally Posted by thorseshoeing
When do these speaches go on??? I've never heard one at any wedding I've been to...
Tim
Tim
I have seen many..
Scottie, Not to get you nervous but remember they are video taping the whole thing..
I saw one were the best man got up and gave the bride and groom a piece of toast then sat down.. Short and sweet.