Need advice here
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Joined: Nov 2003
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From: Dark side of the sun.
Need advice here
I need some advice from the guys who have been there or close to it,so here goes.
I'm in the Army in Korea,(Yeah,Fun I know.)
Anyway,Theres a girl back home who her and I are re-igniting an old flame and things are really taking off. Since I won't be back home until december for a couple of weeks,How can I help make this work? Or what are some good ways to "help stay faithful and remember what I have back in the states"? I'm going crazy here cuz shes there and I'm stuck here.
Thanks guys.
I'm in the Army in Korea,(Yeah,Fun I know.)
Anyway,Theres a girl back home who her and I are re-igniting an old flame and things are really taking off. Since I won't be back home until december for a couple of weeks,How can I help make this work? Or what are some good ways to "help stay faithful and remember what I have back in the states"? I'm going crazy here cuz shes there and I'm stuck here.
Thanks guys.
Post Fiend
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,770
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From: The Great North~West!
Well ~ I'm not a guy, buy I am 'one of the guys' ~ does that count? Anyways, talk as often as possible and look at her picture frequently!! Remind yourself that if you indulge in any 'over seas entertainment' then there will be nothing to come home to. Simple as that! Long distance relationships can work if you want them to. But you have to really want them to work!!! When my husband and I lived in Alaska, he drove up and down the Alcan Highway delivering supplies to the pump stations between Valdez and Pruhoe Bay. He was home 2-4 days a month. We lived that way for seven years. The phone bill was incredibly high, but we made it work because we wanted it to work. I buried myself in the kids and he buried himself in work. We were able to remain faithful because that's what it took. Good luck, man! 
Last edited by Snowbunny; Aug 4, 2007 at 09:08 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2007
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From: LOCKPORT, NY
just like Snowbunny said if you want it to work you will try everything to make it work and if you side step you will not enjoy what you have waiting back home for you. Hubby was also in the military for 20 years was with him for 10 years while he was in so I know what you mean in away.
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From: LOCKPORT, NY
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Posting Guru
Joined: May 2003
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From: Sunny tourist infested FL
Long distance relationships are tough. December is a long time from now. And if you're on a long tour, the next time you see her after december will be maybe june of 08?
Give it a try. But don't be surprised if it doesn't work in the long run. If you the both of are under the age of 25, odds are it won't.
Being in the Land of the Morning Calm (minus the al and add a you!) presents you with many options. But most of these options are the same and change hands on a daily basis. That makes it tough to have a "real" relationship locally.
Plus being overseas (first tour I'm guessing) makes the idea of home much more vivid and appealing. And having an old flame make contact, coupled with being oversea, away from home can really spin your head around.
Remember the situation. Have a good time with the relationship. But, keep this in mind, things can change in a heartbeat. Either with you locally, or with her remotely. Don't pin all your hopes on it. But if it's what gets you thru your tour, do it.
If it lasts until you are based back in the world, that's great. But once you are back, your perspective will change..
I speak from experience, so take it for what it's worth.
Give it a try. But don't be surprised if it doesn't work in the long run. If you the both of are under the age of 25, odds are it won't.
Being in the Land of the Morning Calm (minus the al and add a you!) presents you with many options. But most of these options are the same and change hands on a daily basis. That makes it tough to have a "real" relationship locally.
Plus being overseas (first tour I'm guessing) makes the idea of home much more vivid and appealing. And having an old flame make contact, coupled with being oversea, away from home can really spin your head around.
Remember the situation. Have a good time with the relationship. But, keep this in mind, things can change in a heartbeat. Either with you locally, or with her remotely. Don't pin all your hopes on it. But if it's what gets you thru your tour, do it.
If it lasts until you are based back in the world, that's great. But once you are back, your perspective will change..
I speak from experience, so take it for what it's worth.
Last edited by wildcard30; Aug 4, 2007 at 09:53 PM.
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From: Southeastern Indiana
I got married 2 weeks before I went to Korea back in December of '93.
If I read your post right you stated you "re-ignited" an old flame? When did you "re-ignite" with this girl? Was it while you were in Korea? Do you see yourself with the girl 15 years from now? If not have fun over there. I still talk with some of the guys I was stationed with over there. If it was meant to be she will be there when you get back.
If I read your post right you stated you "re-ignited" an old flame? When did you "re-ignite" with this girl? Was it while you were in Korea? Do you see yourself with the girl 15 years from now? If not have fun over there. I still talk with some of the guys I was stationed with over there. If it was meant to be she will be there when you get back.
Post Fiend
Joined: Dec 2005
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well, if you have to "make" your self faithfull, then you don't have any real feelings for this girl anyway, so who cares, have fun, she probably is.
i had all of 5 days with my wife after we got married before i had to return to where i was stationed at in london, UK. it took her 6 months to get a visa there (she was living in kyrgyzstan) and we flew 3 times to meet each other in turkey during that time.
so if you really care about her and she like wise to you then its no problem or hassle, but if either one of you need "tips" on being faithful, then obviously this is not a serious relationship with feelings anyway.
i had all of 5 days with my wife after we got married before i had to return to where i was stationed at in london, UK. it took her 6 months to get a visa there (she was living in kyrgyzstan) and we flew 3 times to meet each other in turkey during that time.
so if you really care about her and she like wise to you then its no problem or hassle, but if either one of you need "tips" on being faithful, then obviously this is not a serious relationship with feelings anyway.
Still kicking!!
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6,061
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From: Kalispell, Mt.
When I was in Vietnam, I ended up breaking up ...yeah..sending the proverbial Dear Jane letter home.
My gal and her family moved to Alaska and she expected me to just drop everything and come straight there upon leaving Nam. I couldn't do it. So, the love must not have been there from my side. After many years of regretting my actions, I wish I'd not have broken up with her. I think I was more bullheaded than anything and her last letter kinda seemed like she was "or elsing" me on coming up there.
Anyway...
Your best bet, is if she has the internet. Get a yahoo messenger for each of ya and you can chat live every night.. Of course, she may have to be up at 3 in the morning totalk to you, but that's a lot better than the infrequent phone call I could make from Nam.
If you really care about her, you'll not go out and have TOO much fun. If you have a concience anyway. Rememer, ya gotta look her in the eyes when ya get home. And starting out a relationship by trying to fib, just ain't gonna cut it.
If ya can't internet..ya can phone. And ya can write letters as often as possible. Also..the FTE idea don't sound bad either... but watch out for these other young yayhoos here. I hear tell they a rowdy and "horned" bunch. heh heh.
My gal and her family moved to Alaska and she expected me to just drop everything and come straight there upon leaving Nam. I couldn't do it. So, the love must not have been there from my side. After many years of regretting my actions, I wish I'd not have broken up with her. I think I was more bullheaded than anything and her last letter kinda seemed like she was "or elsing" me on coming up there.
Anyway...
Your best bet, is if she has the internet. Get a yahoo messenger for each of ya and you can chat live every night.. Of course, she may have to be up at 3 in the morning totalk to you, but that's a lot better than the infrequent phone call I could make from Nam.
If you really care about her, you'll not go out and have TOO much fun. If you have a concience anyway. Rememer, ya gotta look her in the eyes when ya get home. And starting out a relationship by trying to fib, just ain't gonna cut it.
If ya can't internet..ya can phone. And ya can write letters as often as possible. Also..the FTE idea don't sound bad either... but watch out for these other young yayhoos here. I hear tell they a rowdy and "horned" bunch. heh heh.
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From: Dark side of the sun.
Thanks for all the tips guys. I just needed a litle guidence because me being in korea and her in the states makes it hard,ya know. Being faithful isnt really the problem,its not being there for each other and hold one anouther that is a problem. I gotta run for now,I'll post more later. Thanks again guys!
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From: Dark side of the sun.
Both of us have computers and internet and we talk every chance we get. We "re-ignited" while im here in Korea. I just don't know if being here is gonna be all that bearable since shes there and I'm over here dealing with this bull**** everyday and nothing too really look forward to the next day here. Only thing keeping me going is knowing that in december I'll get to hold her again. And you're right wildcard,All this will make ones head spin around. But I do have alot of pictures of her and CONSTANTLY look at them. I even have one set as my wallpaper on my laptop.
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Joined: Oct 2005
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From: Alamogordo, New Mexico
Ahhh to be young and in Korea again. I was in your shoes 22 years ago. Dang, I just realized, I am getting old...We were both young, drippy behind the ears but mad in love. We stuck it out and have been married now for over 21 years. Still in love. One thing that probaby helped me was during inprocessing the medics showed us the tool they used on STD removal. I still had a good time over there. Made some good friends, seen a lot of things, done a lot, and the food was really good. The BS will pass. Don't count your days. It will go by quicker. Before you know it, you guys will be back in each others arms...
Rich
Rich