THE MECHANIC

One pilot skill that should be taught is dealing with the mechanic. This is some how neglected in the basic flight skills textbook. There was a great text going around awhile back on “How to operate a helicopter mechanic” but I feel that was for the advanced pilot. Therefore I shall remedy this and post a basic text that I feel should be inserted in you POH.
Definitions:
Mechanic: Worker skilled in using tools, repairing machines, etc, “Webster”.

Mechanic: Worker skilled in using tools, text, voodoo, threats, intimidation, profanity, pagers, cell phones, and determination, “Klank”.

For specific breakdown:
Hanger Mechanic: One generally happy with a normal workday and content to perform repetitive tasks. (Inspections and such)

Field Mechanic: One generally not happy with other life on the planet. Thrives on unusual problems in rural areas in the middle of the night.

Although there is no one definition for “a mechanic”, and they come in all shapes and sizes the ones that I have spent many years trying to figure out is the “Field Mechanic”. This breed of person is far different from any society norm, and truly walks there own path. (Definitely an Alpha) They are easily identified and cannot be imitated (at least not for long), they generally travel alone but sometimes are assisted by another, or more likely a hanger mechanic forced to go and help with task that might require another set of hands. (Field mechanics have no problem getting a pilot dirty either)

I have met and worked with many field mechanics over the years, and there are some differences, but only minor ones. Some are generally happy even at two in the morning, while others are pissed all the time, but they all have the core beliefs and ideas of how the world actually works. A field mechanic generally believes that pilots are there for them to train, and to screw up their aircraft. We (pilots) also are owned by the field mechanic; we are referred to in their circle as, my pilot, and my helicopter, or my crew. This quickly changes when we actually do something wrong, “that pilot screwed up my ship”. We are usually reclaimed later after the appropriate time of groveling and self-deprecation has passed.

I made the mistake early in my career and told a mechanic that I also had an A&P, big mistake; he was not impressed and also considered me a bigger nuisance than a pilot without one. Later in life I compared this with people coming up to me and telling me that they are also pilots, (80 hour weekend wonders) I have never mentioned this again.

I’ve dealt with mechanics that would argue for an hour to get out of a ten-minute job, or younger ones that would be so eager that when they came over they just had to find some little thing to impress you on how smart they are. Some, I feel hate every pilot on the face of the earth, and some are good friends that I’ve stayed in touch with for many years.

There is one type of mechanic that just pisses me off to no end; I hate having to call them to come over because the results are almost always the same. They’re generally always nice, experienced, and helpful, they never seem to complain, and are truly concerned with my problem. I despise each and every one of them, (luckily there are only a few) I call them Healers. No matter the squawk, hang start, gauge stuck, bulb out, and on and on, they show up and with a simple “laying of the hands” it works fine every time. I think the aircraft has certain pressure points that allows the healing to take place, I watch very carefully every time but have yet been able to duplicate this phenomena.

On one such occasion, my aircraft would not start right to save my ***, after several attempts I had no choice but to call. With a pit in my stomach, I call and explain the entire sequence. “Ok, I’m on my way” and that was that. After the appropriate amount of time, in he walks. “How long are we down for?” “Do we have time to go eat?” my med crew inquires. “I’ll let you know in about ten minutes,” replies the mechanic. I approach the aircraft and see the mechanic leaning on the nose waiting for me to get in. I wonder if this is one of the points or if this thing will still hang when I hit the button. As I strap in, I notice the mechanic has opened the other door and has his right arm in the seat and has carefully placed his left hand on the dash. He taps his fingers a few times as I go through my checklist. Clear, and away we go. This was about the closest thing to a perfect start that I have ever, in all my years, seen, DAMN HIM.

Walking back into the crew house, my nurse asks, “Were do you want to go eat?” I think the look in my eyes said it all. “He did it again, didn’t he?”

I’m not trying to be to hard on the healers, but damn it, it happens far to often to just be a coincidence. Generally, field mechanics are a special breed that has kept my *** alive for many years. I found that treating them with respect, food, and the occasional 18 pack will go a long way in establishing a good working relationship with this nomadic type.

 

I hate to say it but my Mother hated me for the "Healing Hands" I always used on her cars... But then Dad did too, he even used to curse me, and so did many of my "friends"... I can't tell you how "Healing" works or I would have to Kill you. We "Healers" have our secrets... I have been paid many $$$ just to go look at a car or industrial machine and place the proverbial "chalk mark" on it, not even fix it. My mark is enuf to guide the "field or hanger" mechanics. Healing is an art and many of us are only able to "feel" certain types of machines.

I enjoy standing around watching and feeling an industrial (my specialty) machine not work, listening to the babble from the unenlightened but tuning most of it out, listening to the machine talk to me before I make that chalk mark. Sometimes I make many marks to get rid of extra junk hung on a machine by the unenlightened in their attempts to heal it. It is fun to watch the unenlightened as the machine is healed tho.

Pay the Healer and quit trying to understand. Just be thankful there is someone around who can "feel" the machines talk to them.

 

Great post! I've worked in line maintenance for over twenty years now. It's really hard to describe to people what this career is like. There was a story I read years ago called "Grease Monkey" that pretty much summed it up. I'll try to find it.

My favorite pilot story. I used to work for a frieght company. We flew RDS to all parts of the globe. Anyway, my maintenance office also doubled as the operations/crew room/briefing room. At that time my rotty was just a pup, I would take him with me everywhere I went to socialize him. He had a bed under my desk. One night, a very arrogant young first officer sits down at my desk to do his flight planning. The captain, an older fellow, stood back with me talking about things other than aviation. The F/O's back stiffens and he yells, "does he bite?" My dog had his head in his lap. Now if anyone has a rotty you know what I mean. They just love to do that! I reply, "He only bites competent pilots, you got nothing to worry about." the captain spewed his coffee. The f/o stormed out to the plane. You could almost see the ego deflate! Ahhh The good old days of aviation. Long gone. Now my dog has to have a federally issued ID to come to work with me.

 

Now thats funny

 

Great post helifixer! I've worked as both a "hanger mechanic" and a "field mechanic" and there definately is a difference!

 

That is so true Helifixer. I have also done both for the Navy, because P-3Cs are cranky old girls! With my job though, if you can't fix it, you haven't used a big enough hammer(airframers). Our ongoing joke was always if it were iffy, bring the Chaplain out with us to bless the bird before we launched it. Now if that wouldnt get a Mission Commanders or PPCs attention, I haven't the foggiest as to what would

 

We had a jet once that was so bad...It had been broke for about 5 weeks total. We'd "fix" it, it would fly, limp back home code 3, etc. Nobody could figure it out. Finally, we had what we thought was the permanent fix. During the launch, the Pro Super, over the radio, called for a dead chicken and a bottle of holy water. He got a talking to, but it was pretty funny!

 

-so wher have you been maby we have been some of the same places

 

Shaw SC, Luke AZ, Sheppard TX, Kunsan and Osan Korea, Incerlik and Bandirma Turkey, Singapore, Nellis NV, Cold Lake Canada, and others I can't remember at the moment...

 

well the only possibility would be Luke AFB, I might have been taking lunch break at the end of the runway watching the F16's when you were working.