Well, I’m looking for advice on how I should have handled a given situation. In the fall and or spring I usually head out to a friend’s farm to cut/split firewood. I gather enough and have quite a bit staked, seasoning year over year. Both of my neighbors have fireplaces and every now and then they’ll ask if they can have a few logs. No problem.

One neighbor though makes a habit of it. I guess he figures that because I have a mountain of wood, it will make little difference to me, which is true. Now then, he has two able teenage sons and I always offer to have them accompany me on my firewood trips, but they always have something going on, football, baseball, whatever.

I didn’t want to telegraph my feelings in this post but it looks like it’s inevitable. I live in a pretty decent neighborhood and this one neighbor is what I would call a classic American: living way beyond their means, doesn’t instill a good work ethic in his children, (makes sure their kids have everything and participate in every sport but never see them working around the house); I know I’m being a bit judgmental here but…

So here comes this biggest winter storm and here his eldest son is at my door asking for wood again. “Sure, take what you like” is my reply. I’m certainly not going to miss it but I get irritated as I always invite them to come with me to get a truckload (they have a 3/4 ton Supercrew too) when I go. Am I just expecting other people to live like me (prepared)? Don’t get me wrong, I keep this much wood just in case we have a bad storm and must go without power and I’ll have enough to share with all who need it.

 

If I want something I will come right out and ask as I know most people won't offer.

So, next time one of the kids comes for some wood tell him that you will be needing some help soon and you would like to know if you count on HIM, His brother or his Dad to help YOU out.
You will let him know what day in the next few days.

Then if no one comes to help, the next time they come by for a freebie, you point blank tell them that their free firewood days are over as they can't be bothered to reciprocate your generosity.

 

you want some responsees... post this on the hearth.com forums....

 

next time he sends one of the boys around to ask for wood take a second to think about it and ask how many pieces he needs. Don't be too eager.. I don't like to say "no" either, but I have to stop myself from saying "yeah sure" sometimes.

I don't want to make an issue every time a guy asks for a bottle of water and I don't, but guys that do that every day cuz they can't pack a lunch I tell them not to make a habit out of it cuz when it's hot and I need my water I'm not going to hook you up.

If you want to talk to him about it I tink you should go straight to the neighbour, don't mention this to his boys, but tell him you can't give him any more wood, you didn't want to mention it to the boys and you hope he understands. And you can repeat the offer they can come along and cut their own but you don't have the time to do it for them.

 

If you keep enough to be able to help other folks too, then be honest with the kid next time; it's not like the father is going to be the one to ask. Tell him you have no more for his family and you want to keep the rest to help others as well.

Then as other folks have said, invite them on the next firewood trip and let them do their own work.

 

next year, only cut enough for what you will need plus an extra 1/2 cord. then when Minnie the Moocher comes over looking for his freebie, tell them "I'm sorry, but it was a bad year for me, i did not get any help collecting firewood this year, and i did not get to go as many times as i wanted to. i don't even think i got enough to last me through the winter".
but offer to take them with you next time you go.

and leave it at that.

 

I agree.
It's always my approach to come out straight up. You want alot. You help in the whole process or you get noda. Reminds me of the squirel and the grasshopper story.

My co-worker bought a house 4 months ago. He keeps asking me for wood. Which is fine I have no problems giving it to him. He wants 10 cord for next year.I tell him there is 1 stipulation. This spring and summer comming up. He has to come with me and help. All i ask is the weekend and a couple hours after work to help split. I get the wood for free only cost is the weekends time. I work for my brother-n-law/ best friend, who owns a small tree service. My pay is all the hardwood. If he has a job durring the week and he left short, leaving the wood. I swing by and do the wood removal after the regular weekend,days work is done. Sometimes it makes for a long weekend making 15 trips and loading wood after hours. Alone the loading drags on. I am looking forward to the help this spring and summer. I get to use the dump truck to haul it.

 

You could always be subtle and just hang a sign (on the end of the pile where they are sure to see it) that says "Firewood For Sale". I'd be willing to bet that they won't be asking for free wood anymore.

If they ask for wood after clearly seeing the "For Sale" sign then they are truly classless (or clueless) and you can just tell them that due to the cost of fuel, etc, that you now have to sell firewood for $xxx per cord.

Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free? is what a wise man once told me. Sounds like your neighbors kids are getting that lesson at home only are taking it literally.

 

Fireplace? Burning wood for heat?

Being a south Florida native I had no idea that practice still existed. (>>>ducks and runs<<<)

__________________________________________


I don't mind lending anything I have or a helping hand to anybody *but* whenever I feel the help is being abused or taken advantage of I'll never extend myself or any of my possessions to this person again ... "Sorry!"

Common sense and a little common courtesy is all it takes but for some strange reason there always seems to be *those* particular folks who just don't seem to get it.

 

I'd go to the father & tell him the free wood days were over. I'd sell him a cord but no more for free. Cutting wood is hard work. I know because I sold wood for yrs.

 

Being a neighbour can be a more complex thing than we imagine. There's often a lot of give and take.

He takes free wood. Is there someting you get from them? Do they put up with your yapping dog at 7am Sunday morning without complaint? Or a junker in the driveway? Or your kids' stereo blaring when you're out?

I generally do a quick mental balance sheet before getting too high on my horse with a next door neighbour.

THEN, ya, polite and direct are usually best.

 

Thanks for the advice folks. I think I'll try to work with them to accompany me on a trip to the farm.

Fred, I have to laugh, I don't think they have to put up with much. I almost strated another thread about *their* dog. They have this big sweet dog they have not been able to house train. They leave it tied up out in the yard, in the rain, in the snow, in the cold, with no water. I don't want to get in the middle of their business you see, but that poor poor dog.

 

I'm a firewood bug too......Me and the neighbor head out in winter and spring for cords and cords of oak. You may have a mountain, but i'll bet that you busted your a$$ felling, bucking, splitting, stacking, whatever to get the mountain.

I don't tell people "no" when it's occasional. BUT....if it becomes a habit and they're able-bodied, then they need to load their a$$e$ on the truck to accompany me to a wood site. There is a difference (I think another poster said it) between occasionally borrowing stuff from each other and being a moocher..

 

Next time he asks to borrow some wood,ask if you can borrow his wife! Ok,seriously,I would tell him,yes,go ahead and get some wood,but the next time I start cutting,I need you and your boys to help.If he doesnt help,no more firewwod!

 

im with the other folks once in a while ok but not all the time. when we go out to cut wood we round up a crew like this coming saterday we have 6 saws and two splitters and for every saw theres 2 people one to cut the other to pile split .headed for the woods with 3 trucks and trailers.seems funny every one gets loaded up and no one has to borrow any when we get low we just do it again.plus its fun on the way home when we stop at the local beerjoint