You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When . . .


Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee."
Your so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Cocaine is a downer.
You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

 

Whooaaa! Sounds like a caffeine buzz to me. Those are funny.

 

I find that Baileys in my coffee seems to mellow me out just a bit!

 

Wow this went off topic real fast!

EDIT: Hey Laredo you changed your post!
Also I don't drink coffee, I prefer chocolate milk. MMMMOOOOO!!!!

 

Who can notice (what topic?)? Not me, I`m too wired..Coffee and Coke!

 

[QUOTE=Fomoko1]
Cocaine is a downer.
QUOTE]
I like that one

Edit - why didn't my quote work properly??

 

I was too wired and started a new thread while replying!

 

[QUOTE=t_dickie] Beats me, how/what did you do?
Just click on quote, use what comes up to repy and it should work.

 

that's what I did, but it's not all fancy lookin like most are. Frankly, I'm jealous.

 

Make sure you don`t delete anything after clicking on quote, use the whole quote in the post.
Give another try soon and see what happens, it should work.

 

Lets see if this works......

Edit: A HA!! Now I know what Newton felt like, minus the apple induced headache. So how do I edit down to a part of a post, rather than the whole thing?

 

put [/ infront of quote...

that whole list sounds like me!!! muahaha

 

To edit a part of a post delete just what you don`t want to quote but don`t delete too much though.

 

Delete all the verbage you dont want quoted, but leave the 'quote' and '/quote' at the beginning and end.

 

hahaha... I used to drink it for breakfast and lunch I did that for over 10 years and it finally caught up to me...I have had the same tin of coffee for over 15 months now...yes it is still good...no it probably isnt fresh anymore...


so morris you mention you like coffee and coke...hmmmm HAHAHA j/k