1000th POST! and a joke
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From: Salmon Arm
1000th POST! and a joke
YEAH I MADE IT. maybe i have no life, who really knows......
anyway, i read somewhere that it was sort of a custom to post a joke on the 1000th post.(think it was Ontario chapter), so, i've always found this joke funny. second funniest to the thermos joke. here she goes
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!
President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?” George asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
Lard T'underin' bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jumpins," said Archie,” I’ll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
have a good one guys, thanks for making me feel welcome
anyway, i read somewhere that it was sort of a custom to post a joke on the 1000th post.(think it was Ontario chapter), so, i've always found this joke funny. second funniest to the thermos joke. here she goes
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!
President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?” George asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
Lard T'underin' bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jumpins," said Archie,” I’ll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
have a good one guys, thanks for making me feel welcome
Moderator
Joined: Dec 2003
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From: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
FirstTry, congrats on your first 1,000 + posts! 
Great joke by the way, more spilled coffee.
Dustin, looks like you will hit well over the 2 grand in posts easily, keep`er going!
Great joke by the way, more spilled coffee.
Dustin, looks like you will hit well over the 2 grand in posts easily, keep`er going!
Last edited by Fomoko1; Feb 4, 2007 at 10:52 PM.
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Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 12,281
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From: Saskatoon Saskatchewan
Originally Posted by Fomoko1
FirstTry, congrats on your first 1,000 + posts!
Great joke by the way, more spilled coffee.
Dustin, looks like you will hit well over the 2 grand in posts easily, keep`er going!
Great joke by the way, more spilled coffee.
Dustin, looks like you will hit well over the 2 grand in posts easily, keep`er going!
Elder User
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 651
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From: Vancouver BC
dang...and I went and painted my house for a week straight when I should of been posting...I will never catch up to anyone...Guess I gotta just try and stay ahead of anyone new that joins...
The only place I have posted alot is in the SK/MB chapter...out of my 200+ posts only maybe 5 have been in other areas...maybe 10 but I am sure none more than that
Unless it was the night my wife brought me 7 beers home that someone left in a room at the hotel she works at...7 beers and there was 4 different brands HAHA
3 bud, 1 kokanee, 2 labatt light (yuck), 1 rickards red... what can I say, I slept good that night unlike now HE HE
The only place I have posted alot is in the SK/MB chapter...out of my 200+ posts only maybe 5 have been in other areas...maybe 10 but I am sure none more than that
Unless it was the night my wife brought me 7 beers home that someone left in a room at the hotel she works at...7 beers and there was 4 different brands HAHA
3 bud, 1 kokanee, 2 labatt light (yuck), 1 rickards red... what can I say, I slept good that night
unlike now HE HE