Outrageous Quotes from Where You Work
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 29,941
Likes: 46
From: Drummonds, TN USA
Outrageous Quotes from Where You Work
(I was reminded of this by another post)
Plain old work order for a Georgetown RV -
Main discrepancy was:
"BOTH Toilets Leak When Weight is on them"
(Dead give-away, BAD GASKETS)
- I was handed this, and I commented on it to our service writer...
In my very best Tommy Lee Jones DEADPAN voice I said:
"I am confident that with my thirty five years of automotive experience, combined with twenty years of US NAVAL Aviation Electronic Technician capabilities, leadership skills, and four years as a military Instructor I can successful restore these particular COMMODE POOLS..."
(I was tempted to SALUTE)
Plain old work order for a Georgetown RV -
Main discrepancy was:
"BOTH Toilets Leak When Weight is on them"
(Dead give-away, BAD GASKETS)
- I was handed this, and I commented on it to our service writer...
In my very best Tommy Lee Jones DEADPAN voice I said:
"I am confident that with my thirty five years of automotive experience, combined with twenty years of US NAVAL Aviation Electronic Technician capabilities, leadership skills, and four years as a military Instructor I can successful restore these particular COMMODE POOLS..."
(I was tempted to SALUTE)
Last edited by Greywolf; Jan 8, 2007 at 08:36 PM.
Elder User
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 774
Likes: 0
From: Plano, Tx.
well my boss ran out of gas on his way to work the other day. He lives about 2 miles from work, literally. Anyway one of the guys went to get him and it was raining. when they both got back my boss was soaking wet. I asked why he was so wet and he said he was outside while on the phone with Dean and then while waiting for him to get there. So I said "why didn't you get back in the van?" and all he had to say was "I knew you were going to ask that" and then had nothing else to say about that.
my boss literally doesn't have enough sense to come in from the rain. Go figgure.
-matt
my boss literally doesn't have enough sense to come in from the rain. Go figgure.
-matt
Senior User
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 285
Likes: 0
From: In a small Canadian town
We hauled a chipper down to Maine once (Me and my dad) and an hour or so outside of Fort Kent we blew a tire on the chipper. Well not being firmilliar with the area we had no idea where the nearest tire shop was. We called the forestry company we were hauling it for (Irving) and dad asked to speak to the number 1 or 2 man in charge, they said they couldn't get ahold of them and we would have to spend the night. Dad replied to that "Thats ok, I'm on by the hour."
Well I'll tell you it wasn't long untill we got the number two man in charge on the phone and wound up not staying the night.
Well I'll tell you it wasn't long untill we got the number two man in charge on the phone and wound up not staying the night.
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Postmaster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,604
Likes: 2
The best one I've seen was a service order written for a door repair. It was supposed to be at American Bank on Lido Key, but one of our secretarys was in a hurry and decided to abbreviate. She wrote on the ticket- "A bank on Lido Key"
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Hotshot
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 18,423
Likes: 9
From: iowa
Originally Posted by 79 FORD
they said they couldn't get ahold of them and we would have to spend the night. Dad replied to that "Thats ok, I'm on by the hour." Well I'll tell you it wasn't long untill we got the number two man in charge on the phone and wound up not staying the night.
Well I'll tell you it wasn't long untill we got the number two man in charge on the phone and wound up not staying the night.
Posting Guru
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,375
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From: the beaches of florida
I probably shouldnt say this but if i cross the line ill know for next time.
I used to work in a kitchen. After a long hard day the kitchen managers wife showed up to talk to him. This is after weve closed down and the crew is just kinda hangin around talking and having a few beers before we go home. We all know each other in the kitchen real well, so shes going around talking to people and handing us beers after a long night of working hard.
She talks to my buddy after handing him a beer, then leaves to use the restroom. Upon seeing the massive amount of foam in his beer, he looks up at the manager and says, "why does your wife give so much head?"
I used to work in a kitchen. After a long hard day the kitchen managers wife showed up to talk to him. This is after weve closed down and the crew is just kinda hangin around talking and having a few beers before we go home. We all know each other in the kitchen real well, so shes going around talking to people and handing us beers after a long night of working hard.
She talks to my buddy after handing him a beer, then leaves to use the restroom. Upon seeing the massive amount of foam in his beer, he looks up at the manager and says, "why does your wife give so much head?"
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,964
Likes: 1
From: Woodruff, SC
Being in the lawn business i get this from time to time "Here to cut the lawn!". Well with one customer i replyed "Nope! Just need to park the truck here for about an hour!" My customer didn't know what to say till it hit him and said "Heres you sign and started laughing."
Guess ya had to be there!
Guess ya had to be there!
The Pacifier
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,245
Likes: 7
From: Cloverdale, BC
At work we have 3 floor mechanics, and one foreman. Anyway, the 3 of us are always giving each other a hard time about how long a job is taking. I'd go up to Henry and say "Hey, Brandon called. He said he could have had your job done an hour ago."
We'd all do this to each other. The reply is always f off.
Going back to when I was a car wash guy at a VW dealer, the thing that ticked me off the most was when some idiot would come up to me at the start of a wash and say "Hey, you missed a spot".
We'd all do this to each other. The reply is always f off.
Going back to when I was a car wash guy at a VW dealer, the thing that ticked me off the most was when some idiot would come up to me at the start of a wash and say "Hey, you missed a spot".
Last edited by bigrigfixer; Jan 8, 2007 at 10:14 PM.
Cargo Master
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,574
Likes: 4
From: Golden, CO
LOL! Uh, I guess, I6power.
In a former life I worked as a market research recruiter/interviewer. One time the manager hired a transvestite. One of the other managers was telling me that I would be training "Jessica" the next day. She said I would like "Jessica". When that woman gave me crap (most of the time) I knew to keep an eye out.
The next day I was on the mall training "Jessica" when the office manager came out to observe. At this point "Jessica" was ready to go solo, so I walked over to the office manager and lightly mentioned something about "Jessica's" adams apple, and maybe some type of collar or turtleneck would help in dealing with the general public.
The manager (another woman) burst out laughing and said: "Be nice Mike, IT has feelings too!"
Better her than me I reckon...
FWIW "Jessica" had a way with little old ladies who wore thick glasses, they shied away from me like I was some kind of hoodlum or something.
In a former life I worked as a market research recruiter/interviewer. One time the manager hired a transvestite. One of the other managers was telling me that I would be training "Jessica" the next day. She said I would like "Jessica". When that woman gave me crap (most of the time) I knew to keep an eye out.
The next day I was on the mall training "Jessica" when the office manager came out to observe. At this point "Jessica" was ready to go solo, so I walked over to the office manager and lightly mentioned something about "Jessica's" adams apple, and maybe some type of collar or turtleneck would help in dealing with the general public.
The manager (another woman) burst out laughing and said: "Be nice Mike, IT has feelings too!"
Better her than me I reckon...
FWIW "Jessica" had a way with little old ladies who wore thick glasses, they shied away from me like I was some kind of hoodlum or something.
Last edited by Hypoid; Jan 8, 2007 at 10:16 PM.