The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of
actual police car videos around the country.

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're
new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make
your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."



#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of
a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I
guess that means I can write anything I want on the
ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift
supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I
mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning
you not to do that again or I'll give you another
ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat
or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy,
and step in monkey DOO."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used
to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through
CPIC/NCIC.."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."



And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!


#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right,we don't. Sign here."

 

gotta love it

 

great comments

 

What a bunch of dorks....

 

Speeder: Why Me?

Cop: You ever go fishing?

Speeder: Yes.

Cop: You ever catch all the fish?


heard that on the radio the other day.

 

A few of those might win the Here's Your Sign Award but the rest of them were pretty good. Cops catch a lot of crap for things like that but who knows who or what they dealt with 5 minutes before. I'ts hard keep your happy face on all day dealing with some of the people out there.

 

I'm glad to see the force is showing a sense of humor now and again. I liked 'em all.

Ryan

 

Used a few of them and heard a few of them.

Also.

You might outrun me but you won't outrun my radio.

I'll give you a head start, my dog likes the exercise.

From last night as a suspect started to go a little sideways with my partner.

My partner: Don't try and pull away again
Suspect: I didn't do anything
Me to my partner: What is his malfunction?
My partner: I just think he is not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Me as I pull out my mag light: No worries I brought my sharpner with me.


It might not come across as funny as it really was but damn it was funny then...

 

gotta dig #4 and #1 - being an ex-cop I have personal experience with those two. OK, I didn't have the ***** to say #1 but an LT at our dept. (former motor jock) did it all the time - only worded slightly differently - "I didn't think Arlington cops wrote pretty girls a ticket?" We don't, sign here, press hard - there are 3 copies"

And I can attest that EVERY cop has been told the magical number of "2 beers" - I guess folks just think they are damn original by saying that - don't think we'd believe 1, think saying 3 would be too many - go to jail, directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200

caforddude, I can picture that happening - DAMN FUNNY!!!!

 

I always loved the

"I demand my Constitutional Right to a phone call!"

My answer:

When was the Constitution written???

Then:

When was the telephone invented???

 

I also have used this one:

Jail is not a Democracy. When it is - we'll talk.

and:

One guy I arrested on a Parole Violation Warrant:

He says "I've done time in 3 different states - you ain't s**t!" I replied "So! Your a 3 state loser then!"

 

Wow, number one really is the funniest. I bet the look on her face is priceless when yall say that.

 

Cop: Son, I clocked you doing 110 mph in 60 ....I've been waiting for a guy like you all day !

Driver: Well, I got here as fast as I could

 

#1 is my favorite.

 

Those are priceless!