Ford Diesel Therapy
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More Turbo
Joined: Jan 2005
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From: Mililani, Hawaii
Ford Diesel Therapy
I have had this for a while and thought I would post it here for you guys. It is pretty funny stuff but a lot is very true. I know I am guilty of more than a few of these.
Signs that you need therapy with your Ford diesel problem.
· Consider these warning signs and see a therapist as soon as possible if you exhibit more than 3 of these signs: <O:p</O:p
Signs that you need therapy with your Ford diesel problem.
· Consider these warning signs and see a therapist as soon as possible if you exhibit more than 3 of these signs: <O:p</O:p
- After getting out of your truck you can't take more than ten steps before looking back to make sure it's still there. <O:p</O:p
- The racket it makes when it's started in the morning sounds sweeter than the opening chords of Beethoven's 9th. <O:p</O:p
- You honestly think no perfume smells as good as diesel exhaust. <O:p</O:p
- Your spousal unit begins to wonder why you're suddenly volunteering to run all the errands. <O:p</O:p
- You record fuel consumption, mileage, oil changes, and other significant events in the life of your truck with such care and accuracy that the most picky NASA scientist would conclude you're overdoing it. <O:p</O:p
- Three different neighbors have called the police after they've seen you just sitting in your truck at 1:00 o'clock</FONT> in the morning. <O:p></O:p>
- You're rolling out of <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[img] /><st1:time Hour=[/img]<font face=" /><st1:City><ST1:p<FONT face=Arial>Las Vegas</FONT></ST1:p</st1:City><FONT face=Arial> headed for </FONT><st1:City><ST1:p<FONT face=Arial>L.A.</FONT></ST1:p</st1:City><FONT face=Arial>, it's 110 degrees at </FONT><st1:time Hour="10" Minute="0"><FONT face=Arial>10:00 a.m.</FONT></st1:time><FONT face=Arial> and you're pulling 11,000 lbs of trailer up the stateline grade when you see a Dodge Cummins ahead and know that life as you know it will end if you don't pass and render it a speck in your rearview mirror. <O:p></O:p></FONT>
- <FONT face=Arial>You hear the word "bible" and immediately think "owner's manual." <O:p></O:p></FONT>
- <FONT face=Arial>You find yourself looking at maps to see if there isn't some way to drive to Europe</FONT><ST1:p instead of flying. <O:p></O:p>
- Every Monday morning as you drive up the street, your neighbors are frantically running to the curb with their trash cans thinking that the garbage truck has arrived three hours early. You laugh with glee. <O:p></O:p>
- The kids waiting for the school bus begin to pick up their books only to find out it is you in your ford diesel. You grin and wave as you motor by.
- You roll down the window on a cold day while driving just to hear the motor. <O:p></O:p>
- When driving through a tunnel or long underpass you slightly slow down just to hear the motor reverberate off the walls. <O:p></O:p>
- Your wife dabs diesel fuel behind her ears when she "wants your attention". <O:p></O:p>
- You drive around with a ton of gravel just cuz it seems right. <O:p></O:p>
- You can't eat and drive when you are not carrying a load. <O:p></O:p>
- You pull up to places that have valet parking and purposely make sure your exhaust is placed so that you can fill the main entry with diesel fumes. <O:p></O:p>
- You buy a laptop computer for your fiver so you can keep in touch when you're on the road. <O:p></O:p>
- You set the FTE page on your browser as your default "home" page so ya never miss a post! <O:p></O:p>
- With less than 100 miles on a new Power Stroke, you’ve already got it partially disassembled to add a winch, larger fuel tanks, exhaust & turbo system modifications, additional instruments, CB, a class 5 trailer hitch. <O:p></O:p>
- Sports cars no longer interest you because they can’t haul a cord of wood in the back and two cords in the trailer. <O:p></O:p>
- You put the exhaust right beside the snobs in the convertible on the interstate and floor it! <O:p></O:p>
- When pulling in to your local convenience store, you target the poor sap on the outdoor pay phone so they can enjoy the idle mode of the Power Stroke while you run in to get a cold one. <O:p></O:p>
- I love it when I pull into the drive thru for my morning coffe with out stopping because the girl knows the sound of this engine and already has it made by the time I round the corner with no wait! <O:p></O:p>
- You enjoy setting off more than two car alarms when you start your truck up in a parking lot. <O:p></O:p>
Elder User
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 586
Likes: 1
From: Billings Mo
Originally Posted by NavyPowerstroker
diesel problem.
· Consider these warning signs and see a therapist as soon as possible if you exhibit more than 3 of these signs:
After getting out of your truck you can't take more than ten steps before looking back to make sure it's still there.
The racket it makes when it's started in the morning sounds sweeter than the opening chords of Beethoven's 9th.
You honestly think no perfume smells as good as diesel exhaust.
Your spousal unit begins to wonder why you're suddenly volunteering to run all the errands.
You record fuel consumption, mileage, oil changes, and other significant events in the life of your truck with such care and accuracy that the most picky NASA scientist would conclude you're overdoing it.
Three different neighbors have called the police after they've seen you just sitting in your truck at 1:00 o'clock in the morning.
You're rolling out of 10:00 a.m. and you're pulling 11,000 lbs of trailer up the stateline grade when you see a Dodge Cummins ahead and know that life as you know it will end if you don't pass and render it a speck in your rearview mirror.
You hear the word "bible" and immediately think "owner's manual."
You find yourself looking at maps to see if there isn't some way to drive to Europe instead of flying.
Every Monday morning as you drive up the street, your neighbors are frantically running to the curb with their trash cans thinking that the garbage truck has arrived three hours early. You laugh with glee.
The kids waiting for the school bus begin to pick up their books only to find out it is you in your ford diesel. You grin and wave as you motor by.
You roll down the window on a cold day while driving just to hear the motor.
When driving through a tunnel or long underpass you slightly slow down just to hear the motor reverberate off the walls.
Your wife dabs diesel fuel behind her ears when she "wants your attention".
You drive around with a ton of gravel just cuz it seems right.
You can't eat and drive when you are not carrying a load.
You pull up to places that have valet parking and purposely make sure your exhaust is placed so that you can fill the main entry with diesel fumes.
You buy a laptop computer for your fiver so you can keep in touch when you're on the road.
You set the FTE page on your browser as your default "home" page so ya never miss a post!
With less than 100 miles on a new Power Stroke, you’ve already got it partially disassembled to add a winch, larger fuel tanks, exhaust & turbo system modifications, additional instruments, CB, a class 5 trailer hitch.
Sports cars no longer interest you because they can’t haul a cord of wood in the back and two cords in the trailer.
You put the exhaust right beside the snobs in the convertible on the interstate and floor it!
When pulling in to your local convenience store, you target the poor sap on the outdoor pay phone so they can enjoy the idle mode of the Power Stroke while you run in to get a cold one.
I love it when I pull into the drive thru for my morning coffe with out stopping because the girl knows the sound of this engine and already has it made by the time I round the corner with no wait!
You enjoy setting off more than two car alarms when you start your truck up in a parking lot.
You can't stop at an intersection without rolling down the windows to listen to the Power Stroke idling next to you
· Consider these warning signs and see a therapist as soon as possible if you exhibit more than 3 of these signs:
After getting out of your truck you can't take more than ten steps before looking back to make sure it's still there.
The racket it makes when it's started in the morning sounds sweeter than the opening chords of Beethoven's 9th.
You honestly think no perfume smells as good as diesel exhaust.
Your spousal unit begins to wonder why you're suddenly volunteering to run all the errands.
You record fuel consumption, mileage, oil changes, and other significant events in the life of your truck with such care and accuracy that the most picky NASA scientist would conclude you're overdoing it.
Three different neighbors have called the police after they've seen you just sitting in your truck at 1:00 o'clock in the morning.
You're rolling out of 10:00 a.m. and you're pulling 11,000 lbs of trailer up the stateline grade when you see a Dodge Cummins ahead and know that life as you know it will end if you don't pass and render it a speck in your rearview mirror.
You hear the word "bible" and immediately think "owner's manual."
You find yourself looking at maps to see if there isn't some way to drive to Europe instead of flying.
Every Monday morning as you drive up the street, your neighbors are frantically running to the curb with their trash cans thinking that the garbage truck has arrived three hours early. You laugh with glee.
The kids waiting for the school bus begin to pick up their books only to find out it is you in your ford diesel. You grin and wave as you motor by.
You roll down the window on a cold day while driving just to hear the motor.
When driving through a tunnel or long underpass you slightly slow down just to hear the motor reverberate off the walls.
Your wife dabs diesel fuel behind her ears when she "wants your attention".
You drive around with a ton of gravel just cuz it seems right.
You can't eat and drive when you are not carrying a load.
You pull up to places that have valet parking and purposely make sure your exhaust is placed so that you can fill the main entry with diesel fumes.
You buy a laptop computer for your fiver so you can keep in touch when you're on the road.
You set the FTE page on your browser as your default "home" page so ya never miss a post!
With less than 100 miles on a new Power Stroke, you’ve already got it partially disassembled to add a winch, larger fuel tanks, exhaust & turbo system modifications, additional instruments, CB, a class 5 trailer hitch.
Sports cars no longer interest you because they can’t haul a cord of wood in the back and two cords in the trailer.
You put the exhaust right beside the snobs in the convertible on the interstate and floor it!
When pulling in to your local convenience store, you target the poor sap on the outdoor pay phone so they can enjoy the idle mode of the Power Stroke while you run in to get a cold one.
I love it when I pull into the drive thru for my morning coffe with out stopping because the girl knows the sound of this engine and already has it made by the time I round the corner with no wait!
You enjoy setting off more than two car alarms when you start your truck up in a parking lot.
You can't stop at an intersection without rolling down the windows to listen to the Power Stroke idling next to you
Originally Posted by Gunner15a
Hello, I'm new here. I'm Gunner15a, and yes, I swagger.
everyone replies:"Hello Gunner"
It all started rather innocently, acutally. I live in Oklahoma, and work in the oil buisness.
everyone replies:"DIRTY PRICE GOUGER! LYNCH HIM! LYNCH HIM NOW!"
Hold on everybody. I work in the DRILLING END. Not the PRODUCTION end. I'm trying to LOWER the price of fuel...........
everyone replies:"Oh..humph.....well.......he's STILL suspicious, but lets not kill him JUST yet"
Anyway, I tend to work the midwest, but occasionally have to work the Rocky Mountan district when they get short handed. Just such a situation happened last November when I had to go to Rifle, Colorado, on a job and all I had to drive was my 2003 F150 6 banger 2wd.
everyone replies:"SHOCK AND OUTRAGE!"
Yeah, shock and outrage. I had to drive through a snowstorm on I-80 in Wyoming to get home. THAT was an experience, one I'd just as soon not experience AGAIN. Terror sucks. Anyway, got home and told the Missus/Sergent Major/Organizer of my life,"I don't care how stingy you are, I need something to drive that might get me out of a tight spot, instead of something I might be found frozen in.". She cringed, thinking about what this would do the the bank account, and after a few days of deliberating weither it would be more economical to find me frozen in a glacier or have me walking around, she acquiesced, and decided the paperwork was easier to do on a truck than on insurance forms.
everyone replies:"Yeah women. You know how they get.Grumble mumble mumble"
To be fair, I bought my F150 new, and it did everything I ever asked it to do, and did it well. Gas mileage was outstanding, never had any problems with it, but doing what I do, I needed something, something that has 4wd, something that could tow a trailer...........Something that my little F150 just wasn't capable of doing...........Something that was..........DIESEL
everyone replies:"Yeah poor little guy. Just wasn't built for heavy hauling. Good truck though"
So I went to the Ford truck site, and built my F250, screenshot the pages and saved them with all the options I wanted on my new truck, took it down to my Ford dealer, and said, "I want this. Can you get it for me".....
everyone replies:"Go on, this is getting good............"
So my dealer called me up a couple of days later and told me "I got a red one, and a black one". The red one didn't have some options I need for work, so I took the black one......
general desintion erupts in the crowd:"BLACK.........I would have gone with RED!"........."RED! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND........BESIDES IT WASN'T OPTIONED RIGHT!".........."OH GET REAL RED IS TOO COOL!". Both side collect cookies from the snack table to pelt each other with..........tension starts running high......
Cmon folks, this thread isn't about color, it's about swagger, now, isn't it. Can't we all just get along?
both sides take their seats, eyeing each other warily, ready to fling baked goods at the drop of a hat. Then one guy stand up and says "DIESEL! YOU NON BELIEVER! DIDN'T EVEN GIVE THE V10 A CHANCE!". Chairs start moving again.........
Diesel was one of the options I specified. I know. But it was a personal choice. Please don't hold it against me.........I'm just that way....
murmers from the V10 crowd:"Keep an eye on that one.......he's trouble"......
Anyway, a couple of days later and my dealer calls me."You're truck is in". So we jumped in the wifes Honda Civic (Yeah I managed to talk her into trading her car for my new truck)
everyone replies:"VERY nicely played! Sounds like she never even saw it coming."
Well we went down to the dealer, and there it was. A big black shiny WARHORSE of a truck. My eyes dialated, and I could feel my blood pressure dropping.
everyone replies:"Well thats not THAT uncommon.............."
My salesmen said "It even came with the optional chrome package". I could feel my palm sweating. My heart was hammering. I took the keys in shaking hands and opened her up. New truck smell washed over me.
everyone replies:"oooooooooo........."
And then I slid into the seat, and put the key in. Turned it on, waited for the glow plugs, and then lit it off. The angry growl of the diesel washed over me. And along with it came...........yes you guessed it.........the swagger........I could feel it oozing out of the air conditioning vents, and out from under the drivers side seat. Little did I know..........yes.......little did I know.......
silence from the crowd.
At first, I just swaggered at home. I didn't really even notice I was doing it, untill the Missus/Sergent Major/Organizer of my life told me close the garage door and quit looking at it. But of COURSE, I didn't have a problem. I could handle it.
More and more I started driving my truck. And the worse the swagger became. I began to swagger in public, and around my freinds. People would come up to me and say "Man thats a nice truck", and I say things like "Thanks". It got worse and worse. I'd look down on Toyota trucks, seeing the seams in their roofs, and just get this........this........FEELING........I was driving a bigger better truck than they were.........I'd swagger around the house, the back yard, around the DOG..........
I'd drive around with one arm in the window, driving with my left hand, and yes........the swagger never left.
And thats why I'm here. I'm Gunner, I own a F250..........And yes....I have a swaggering problem..........
Gunner15a
everyone replies:"Hello Gunner"
It all started rather innocently, acutally. I live in Oklahoma, and work in the oil buisness.
everyone replies:"DIRTY PRICE GOUGER! LYNCH HIM! LYNCH HIM NOW!"
Hold on everybody. I work in the DRILLING END. Not the PRODUCTION end. I'm trying to LOWER the price of fuel...........
everyone replies:"Oh..humph.....well.......he's STILL suspicious, but lets not kill him JUST yet"
Anyway, I tend to work the midwest, but occasionally have to work the Rocky Mountan district when they get short handed. Just such a situation happened last November when I had to go to Rifle, Colorado, on a job and all I had to drive was my 2003 F150 6 banger 2wd.
everyone replies:"SHOCK AND OUTRAGE!"
Yeah, shock and outrage. I had to drive through a snowstorm on I-80 in Wyoming to get home. THAT was an experience, one I'd just as soon not experience AGAIN. Terror sucks. Anyway, got home and told the Missus/Sergent Major/Organizer of my life,"I don't care how stingy you are, I need something to drive that might get me out of a tight spot, instead of something I might be found frozen in.". She cringed, thinking about what this would do the the bank account, and after a few days of deliberating weither it would be more economical to find me frozen in a glacier or have me walking around, she acquiesced, and decided the paperwork was easier to do on a truck than on insurance forms.
everyone replies:"Yeah women. You know how they get.Grumble mumble mumble"
To be fair, I bought my F150 new, and it did everything I ever asked it to do, and did it well. Gas mileage was outstanding, never had any problems with it, but doing what I do, I needed something, something that has 4wd, something that could tow a trailer...........Something that my little F150 just wasn't capable of doing...........Something that was..........DIESEL
everyone replies:"Yeah poor little guy. Just wasn't built for heavy hauling. Good truck though"
So I went to the Ford truck site, and built my F250, screenshot the pages and saved them with all the options I wanted on my new truck, took it down to my Ford dealer, and said, "I want this. Can you get it for me".....
everyone replies:"Go on, this is getting good............"
So my dealer called me up a couple of days later and told me "I got a red one, and a black one". The red one didn't have some options I need for work, so I took the black one......
general desintion erupts in the crowd:"BLACK.........I would have gone with RED!"........."RED! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND........BESIDES IT WASN'T OPTIONED RIGHT!".........."OH GET REAL RED IS TOO COOL!". Both side collect cookies from the snack table to pelt each other with..........tension starts running high......
Cmon folks, this thread isn't about color, it's about swagger, now, isn't it. Can't we all just get along?
both sides take their seats, eyeing each other warily, ready to fling baked goods at the drop of a hat. Then one guy stand up and says "DIESEL! YOU NON BELIEVER! DIDN'T EVEN GIVE THE V10 A CHANCE!". Chairs start moving again.........
Diesel was one of the options I specified. I know. But it was a personal choice. Please don't hold it against me.........I'm just that way....
murmers from the V10 crowd:"Keep an eye on that one.......he's trouble"......
Anyway, a couple of days later and my dealer calls me."You're truck is in". So we jumped in the wifes Honda Civic (Yeah I managed to talk her into trading her car for my new truck)
everyone replies:"VERY nicely played! Sounds like she never even saw it coming."
Well we went down to the dealer, and there it was. A big black shiny WARHORSE of a truck. My eyes dialated, and I could feel my blood pressure dropping.
everyone replies:"Well thats not THAT uncommon.............."
My salesmen said "It even came with the optional chrome package". I could feel my palm sweating. My heart was hammering. I took the keys in shaking hands and opened her up. New truck smell washed over me.
everyone replies:"oooooooooo........."
And then I slid into the seat, and put the key in. Turned it on, waited for the glow plugs, and then lit it off. The angry growl of the diesel washed over me. And along with it came...........yes you guessed it.........the swagger........I could feel it oozing out of the air conditioning vents, and out from under the drivers side seat. Little did I know..........yes.......little did I know.......
silence from the crowd.
At first, I just swaggered at home. I didn't really even notice I was doing it, untill the Missus/Sergent Major/Organizer of my life told me close the garage door and quit looking at it. But of COURSE, I didn't have a problem. I could handle it.
More and more I started driving my truck. And the worse the swagger became. I began to swagger in public, and around my freinds. People would come up to me and say "Man thats a nice truck", and I say things like "Thanks". It got worse and worse. I'd look down on Toyota trucks, seeing the seams in their roofs, and just get this........this........FEELING........I was driving a bigger better truck than they were.........I'd swagger around the house, the back yard, around the DOG..........
I'd drive around with one arm in the window, driving with my left hand, and yes........the swagger never left.
And thats why I'm here. I'm Gunner, I own a F250..........And yes....I have a swaggering problem..........
Gunner15a
Yes...........the symptoms of PSS are not uncommon. They can strike any Power Stroke owner, at ANY time, and ANY age. There IS help. You too can be a member of the PSASA, Power Stroke Anti Swagger Anomyous..........With our twelve step program, you TOO can live a normal, even productive life. Do YOU display these symptopms?
1) Driving by department store windows just to see the reflection of your PSD in the windows?
2) Driving around aimlessly, just because you can't bear to shut your PSD down?
3) Going through at least 4 cans of Turtle Wax a week?
4) Swagger around strangers, friends, or when nobody is around to swagger around household pets?
5) Look down on the top of Toyota drivers heads?
6) Consider Hondas and Subarus as Hor 'd Orves?
7) Have a 20 year supply of both summer AND winter diesel kleen, as well as various filters, in a bunker in the back yard.............JUST in case?
8) Do you have a 55 gallon drum of Mothers Chrome Polish, just for touch ups.
9) Did you buy a rain slicker for your signifigant other to keep the mud off her when going to the store?
10) Buy the house next door to your diesel mechanic, in case of emergency?
11) Spent the night wrapped in a blanket in front of your garage, because something is.............OUT THERE...........
If you have displayed 3 or more of these symptoms, you too may be a strokahaulic. Its not pretty, it IS incurable, but with the proper 12 step program, you to may be able to live a normal, even productive life. Step up, join us..........before it's too late. The sanity you save may be your wifes. There is help.................and HOPE...............for those who swagger
Gunner15a
Last edited by Gunner15a; Jun 15, 2006 at 02:12 AM.
Post Fiend
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 14,582
Likes: 12
From: 21791
Gunner, that post you quoted that you wrote is just too funny. im still grinning from it. i put in my Myspace profile : Hi i am Kris Myers, and i have Powerstroke Swagger Syndrome.. (like an AA meeting)
i also added the whole post from navypowerstroker about the signs in a new "blog" (
) on the page. its great.
i also added the whole post from navypowerstroker about the signs in a new "blog" (
) on the page. its great.
Senior User
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 468
Likes: 9
From: Alabama
Blown hole in barn roof
Do you need to see a therapist if you have blown a hole in your barn roof to kill a barnswallow for pooping on your hood?
Trending Topics
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 21,113
Likes: 3,939
From: Ohio
Originally Posted by Blackwaterforge
Do you need to see a therapist if you have blown a hole in your barn roof to kill a barnswallow for pooping on your hood?
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Elder User
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 586
Likes: 1
From: Billings Mo
Originally Posted by Maxium4x4
I use my remote starter while standing beside my exhaust pipe just to hear the turbo spool up.....I think it sounds cool......
Am I normal or do I need therapy? 
Am I normal or do I need therapy? Gunner15a
Elder User
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 586
Likes: 1
From: Billings Mo
Originally Posted by Blackwaterforge
Do you need to see a therapist if you have blown a hole in your barn roof to kill a barnswallow for pooping on your hood?
Gunner15a
Elder User
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 979
Likes: 0
From: SoCali!!
HAHAHA!!! Danny I have all kinds of those problems.... I have had a bunch of dirty looks from people on payphones, but I love all the things listed. Hey Maxium, I don't have a remote starter, but I occasionally have my 7 year old daughter climb in while I run around to the right rear, and yell 'Ok baby, light it!' I love to hear the turbo spool!
BTW my lil girl always says the same thing, 'Daddy, can I drive?' I used to tell her "when you can start it, you can drive it" but that doesn't work anymore!
everybody have a great day!
Tim
BTW my lil girl always says the same thing, 'Daddy, can I drive?' I used to tell her "when you can start it, you can drive it" but that doesn't work anymore!
everybody have a great day!
Tim
Elder User
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 586
Likes: 1
From: Billings Mo
Originally Posted by strokin_it7.3
Gunner, that post you quoted that you wrote is just too funny. im still grinning from it. i put in my Myspace profile : Hi i am Kris Myers, and i have Powerstroke Swagger Syndrome.. (like an AA meeting)
Gunner15a
Elder User
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 586
Likes: 1
From: Billings Mo
Originally Posted by SoCalSuperDuty03
HAHAHA!!! Danny I have all kinds of those problems.... I have had a bunch of dirty looks from people on payphones, but I love all the things listed. Hey Maxium, I don't have a remote starter, but I occasionally have my 7 year old daughter climb in while I run around to the right rear, and yell 'Ok baby, light it!' I love to hear the turbo spool!
BTW my lil girl always says the same thing, 'Daddy, can I drive?' I used to tell her "when you can start it, you can drive it" but that doesn't work anymore!
everybody have a great day!
Tim
BTW my lil girl always says the same thing, 'Daddy, can I drive?' I used to tell her "when you can start it, you can drive it" but that doesn't work anymore!
everybody have a great day!
Tim
Gunner15a
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 21,113
Likes: 3,939
From: Ohio
I lure unsuspecting family members or friends to my tail pipe to let them listen, then I stomp on the brake and smoke'em when they are within range......
They only fall for this trick once....
They only fall for this trick once....