With the market in the turmoil that it is, these mergers may not be too far fetched...

1. XEROX and WURLITZER
(They're going to make reproductive organs)

2. FAIRCHILD ELECTRONICS and HONEYWELL COMPUTERS
(The new company will be called Fairwell Honeychild)

3. POLYGRAM RECORDS, WARNER BROTHERS and KEEBLER
(The new company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker)

4. W.R.GRACE CO., FULLER BRUSH CO., MARY KAY COSMETICS, and HALE BUSINESS SYSTEMS
(The company will be called Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace)

5. 3M and GOODYEAR
(MMM Good)

6. JOHN DEERE and ABITIBI-PRICE
(Deere Abi)

7. HONEYWELL, IMASCO and HOME OIL
(Honey, I'm Home)

8. DENISON MINES, ALLIANCE and METAL MINING
(Mine All Mine)

9. 3M, JC PENNEY and THE METROPOLITAN OPERA COMPANY
(3 Penney Opera)

10. GREY POUPON and DOCKERS PANTS
(Poupon Pants)

11. KNOTT'S BERRY FARM and THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN
(The new company will be called Knott Now)

12. ZIPPO MANUFACTURING, AUDI, DOFASCO and DAKOTA MINING
(The new company will be called Zip Audi Do-Da)

13. NETSCAPE and YAHOO
(Net n'Yahoo - the Israeli branch)

 

don't forget Fed ex and UPS
(FED-UP)