so many of you have been supportive during my wifes illness this past yr. i can't thank all of you enough. we are at the hospice stage. no more chemo, radiation, or other aggresive treatments. she's kicked butt and beat this miserable crap for a long time. in no small part to the support we've gotten from here.
i'm not saying that she's gone, but i'm asking for an action.. please give a couple dollars to your local hospice. pick a name for your gift and donate.
nancy is close to being with God, a few days, and nothing would mean more to us than this place sending a giant donation to your local hospice. the one here has done so much to make Nan comfortable in the short time they've been here. they are angels. a lady came in today just to rub her back. can you not appreciate that. i was afraid to ask them in because i thought it was giving up. it's not giving up, it's making a bad deal better. i'd love to hear other hospice stories if you have 'em. i'm going to write a story for the local paper soon about our experience with hospice. it needs to be out there.
if you can give, God bless, if you can relate a story, thanks. if you can hug your significant other without causing pain, do it now. don't think tomorrow is a given. it can go away so fast that you sit there and scratch your *** saying "what the hell happened".
soon i'll have to post "she's gone". i dread that day. but if you readers can step up and give to your hospice it will be easier to take. i'll know that someone else got a back rub. thanks to my friends here. the rub-er thanks you, the rub-e loves you
carl

 

I had not heard the word "HOSPICE" in a very long while. You've brought up something that should be looked at and talked about in depth.

Odd - my relatives on her side of the family always called my Mom "Nan", and I don't know for sure why. Her name was Ann Peril Purdy most of her life.

She was found one day when she had not answered her phone on the floor of her rest home apartment, and things went swiftly after that - it was her second stroke.

It is painful to think of it again. I should have said "I don't care, the NAVY can take care of itself..." and just left to go up there to Pennsylvania.


My relatives all said I was doing something important, and they did not want to screw me up - UPSET ME! For crying out loud.... I was not told about it until at least a week went by, my Brother called me.

I don't know if this is worth anything or not. I don't know if it will help or hurt you...

I sometimes wake up thinking "I should call my Mom..."

Even though it was the week after 911, and this is now 2006. Five years ago, and I can still see us talking about books. Just like yesterday.

It is long over with, and it still at times makes me think back to someone wonderful that I knew, and trusted, and cared about a great deal.

It seems at times so completely reasonable to just pick up the phone, dial in the number (which I still remember) and say: "Momma? It's me..."

But it just isn't real.

I don't know if that ever goes away, the sense that she is right there somehow.

But in my mind, I know she still cares about me - just as I care about her -

The Lady who taught me that the world was a wonderful and interesting place...

Now I don't know where all in my life it happened exactly - but somewhere in all the things that have happened she convinced me: "Take care, everything is going to be alright. Just be patient, and keep on doing the things you know you need to do."

SHE MADE ME take some classes in summer school to graduate one year! I positively HATED that. And it happened TWICE in fact.

One year it was math, the next was "ELECTIVES" - basket weaving, art, anything would have done. The first time was in my sophomore year - I had fallen behind because school bored me to tears. But the second time was my last year in school - I did not graduate with my class. I didn't really want to anyway, I thought of myself as an outsider.

But she was right. I would never have respected myself if I failed to graduate because of a bunch of dang "ELECTIVE" courses. A G.E.D. is not the same.

Naturally - they were classes in AUTO MECHANICS. And therefore I have her to thank for making a professional out of me...

Oh yeah - she had a good share in making me who I am.


I don't believe I have shared this much of my story in a good long while. Len? I want to thank you. TRULY.

It is through sharing things like this that we come to terms with where we are and one day become at peace with it all.

Bless you, my friend!

~Wolf

 

wolf you made my day, and the similarities<sp made it even more of a cool share. i hope getting it out made you feel a little better. it made me better reading it. i won't be better overall for a long time. this bit made me feel better for today. getting through today is my goal. you got me half way through it.
damn i sure know how to bring down a room.
love you guys.. give to your hospice please
carl

 

I am so sorry to hear of her failing health . My heart goes out to you, there's nothing worse than having to watch that happen to some one you love and not be able to do a thing about it. I agree, God bless the hospice workers and volunteers who willingly go into our darkest moments to bring some light. They're a rare find.

 

My grandfather had hospice come in everyday for his last couple days. He didnt want hospice but in the end when the entire family knew it was the end, he finally agreed. They came everyday for 4 days I think, on the 4th night he passed away. They were very sweet and tried their best to make him comfortable. Hospice is not an easy thing to consider cause in a way its really admitting to yourself that this is the end. God bless you Carl, extra prayers are being sent up for you to be strong and help keep Nancy comfortable. Take care, Bryant

 

Sorry about your wife's illness. I can't say enough good about Hospice and donate whenever I can. They helped a lot when my wife's father was dying of cancer. Hang in there.

 

I've also seen how wonderful a hospice can be. They are truly angels in my eyes, right along with the nurses at the pediatric burn unit at Shriners.
Carl. Hang in there. We're all thinking and praying for you and Nancy.
Your post and Greywolf's brought me to tears.
Since I left home in my early 20's, I grew accustomed to calling my mother at least once a day. When she retired, she started taking long trips to Mexico, to visit her family there. She would be gone for months and I would be going nuts, because I missed her tremendously and I couldn't call her as often. You see, she is more than a mother, she is my best friend. There is an unexplained connection between us. I can't count the times I've tried calling her, and her phone is busy because she was trying to call me at the same time. Then the time when I finally broke down and told her that my marriage was abusive, and I had never told anyone, and she said that deep down she already knew. Or when she fell down the stairs late one night at her home, and I woke up from a sound sleep in tears and having an anxiety attack. I can go on and on. But to come to my point, I had an epiphany sometime ago when I was missing her terribly. That no matter where she is, she is always in my heart and in my mind, and our souls walk hand in hand everyday. That's what we will always have with the one's we love.

 

So true, being a guy I called my mom sevral times a week when she was living.
She has been dead now for two years & there are certain days that you have to remind yourself not to call.
During my mom's Illness , hospice was spectacular caregivers, God bless them all !

 

I couldn't agree more with you Carl! My father in-law was receiving hospice care for about the last 3 weeks until he passed on. We received the kindest cards from his nurses and couldn't say enough good things about them. Then to top it off they are paying for the cremation. We have told anyone wanting to send flowers or anything else to just send a donation to hospice.
May God be with you in this toughest of times
Bart.

 

If it is truly her time, let her know that you will miss her and Love her and there will be a great void that can never be filled.

But also, let her know it's O.K. She shouldn't feel guilty in her last days that she had let anyone down. She didn't. Ease her mind.

My Uncle Bill died in Hospice 15 years ago.

He died knowing how much we Loved him and how much we'd miss him, but, he also knew that we would carry on. It meant alot to him.

A fund was established in his name and I donate once a year (on his birthday) to the wonderful folks that took care of him and so many others.

Carl, take care and know that you are not alone. Not here at FTE anyway.

Ben

 

There was once a person, who cared
It was someone I would not have known or met -
One of the people in High School maybe,
That I never knew

He or she gave a damn about someone close
But it ran over, until it became caring about people
That She/He didn't know at all...
And then it was just simply "CARING"...

I do not know where these people come FROM!
I don't know why they care so much....
I don't know why tears and sorrow do not make them turn away after all,
Because they have seen too much....

But they care
They try
They give
And probably cry just as much as we do...

They are the care givers!
They love and respect life
They know the end of it is part of it
They see it over and over...

And still come back to help us
When the end is near
For those we love...

God bless those who care so much for people they do not know
Who do everything they can for ones who are totally helpless
Who go home at night knowing there will be no end to it...
And come back every day to make it better however they can.

I don't know how they can do that, but they do.
In hopelessness they bring hope
In chaos, they bring peace
GOD BLESS THE CARING!

AMEN

 

ANGELS OF MERCY

On wings of pity fly angels
They come without our bidding
When we ourselves don't know what to do
They come to where we are sitting

We may ask: "What are you here for?"
They will say : "We came for you.
And we will stay until we have done
Anything that we can do..."

 

i added a signature so you all can click and see us when things were better and so we aren't just faceless posters. look for "us in georgia". btw, the chevy isn't mine, i just love that car
carl

 

We'll be praying for her, you and your entire family. God bless you all.

 

hey dudes and dudettets, im going to make sure this thread doesen't get lost. it's important to me and it wasn't made a sticky. so if i get booted you'll know why. God bless what you've done up 'till now. i'm keeping this going.
carl