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Do long distance relationships work?

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Old 05-12-2006, 06:06 PM
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Do long distance relationships work?

Hey all. I'm just curious to know your opinions based on thought and preferably experience with long distance relationships. It looks like I might be in for one, and I really want it to work. She lives 2.5 hours away from me and is going to a different college 1.5 hours away starting in the fall. Luckily it's driving distance, but it's still not exactly close-to-home. I met her at my school, so that's how it started. The sucky part is that I'm gonna be lucky to see her once or twice a week year-round for the most part because of the distance. Anybody have or had a long distance relationship? How'd it work out? Worth it? Anything frustrating about it? Thanks for all of your opinions in advance.

P.S.-One good thing I found about this is that my 7.3 PSD will be getting a nice workout doing all that highway driving if things work out! YOU ALL BETTER WISH ME SOME FRIGGIN LUCK !!
 
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Old 05-12-2006, 06:27 PM
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Well I live in NJ and my fiancee lives in OK right now. It works fine. It's all about how much effort you put into the relationship whether you live next door or 1500 miles away. If you get to see her 1-2 a week I would consider yourself pretty lucky.
 
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Old 05-12-2006, 06:35 PM
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i would say it depends on how bad u want ti to work anything is possible if u put ur mind to it good luck and have fun
 
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Old 05-12-2006, 07:08 PM
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Well, my parents had a long distance relationship before they got married. About a 2 hour drive between them. They have been married for 25 years.

-Matt
 
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Old 05-12-2006, 08:45 PM
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2.5 hours?? come on, thats not that far, try a 12 hour flight!!!!!!! thats right, my wife and i used to live 12 hours apart from each other, by air, it worked out just fine, its called that whole commit to one another thing lots of young people (and older) don't seem to understand so much of.

i lived in london and my wife lived in kyrgyzstan, for 2 years i flew to her and also met in turkey also (no visa requirments for her) the reason she couldn't live with me in london because the stupid british GOV wouldn't issue her a visa for whatever excuse they could come up with. i was stationed in the military there. and yes, this all occured during the time we met, got to know each other AND got married.

but at least the last 6 months of my tour she was finally able to live with me and we been livng together since.

but both people have maturity, which i must say, i look around at the college here and don't really see it. my wife and i also talked on yahoo messenger EVERY DAY! thats right, every day, there was no "hey i am going to a party" or "going out with friends" nothing like that, we wanted to be with each other and thats that, everything else was secondary.

good luck to you
 
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Old 05-15-2006, 01:06 PM
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its called that whole commit to one another thing lots of young people (and older) don't seem to understand so much of.
Amen! We were created to have one mate, and to stick with that person "until death do us part". There's no magic to love, it's work, and commitment, frustrating at times, fulfilling at others. You can't look at what other people have and say "I want that", in fact inadvertantly Sheryl Crow (at least I think it was her) said it best in one of her songs, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got". If you aren't willing to make sacrifices (maybe big ones) to make it work, it wont. However, if you are willing to pull through, and you know she is as well, and you both stay committed, it WILL work! My Fiance and I are looking at this right now. I am working through my last summer of employment for my Dad, she is looking to get back into her career, something she can't do in small-town Iowa. I'm willing to go where we both think we can make the best life for ourselves and our kids (once we have kids, we want to wait a little while after we get married to have some time just the two of us), but I can't until I'm done here after this busy season. So for the next several months we may live quite some distance apart, it'll work, because we are both committed, we LOVE each other, even when we're mad at each other (that's right, no fairy tale).
 

Last edited by BSmitty; 05-15-2006 at 01:08 PM.
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Old 05-15-2006, 02:07 PM
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didn't have a long distance relationship, but do have a long term one. like everyone said it's the level of commitment. i've been with my wife 30 1/2 years, married 28 1/2 and i'm as much in love now as i was the day we got married. some turbulence but nothing was or is more important to me than she is. when i said i do, i did. for life. six kids and ten grandchildren ( two more due in july) later, i still see my sixteen year old beauty and look forward to as much alone time as we can get, and it only gets better the older we get. distance shouldn't matter other than making you want her more, it's absolutely the commitment you make to one another. good luck, i hope it works for you, when it does it's great.
 
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Old 05-15-2006, 02:26 PM
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Did a 1.5 hour driving distance for one year until she came to a school closer to me, now for 2.5 months we will be 1000 miles apart until we get married and she moves down to FL.
 
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Old 05-15-2006, 04:05 PM
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Sure they work. I know many people that live here in the States and have boyfriend/girlfriend in Serbia.
 
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Old 05-15-2006, 10:35 PM
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Let me say this...

My gal and I started dating in October of 2004. In late August 2005, she moved to college, 140 miles away from me. I drove down most every weekend of my senior year to visit her. She came up probably 6-8 times this past year. Like someone stated earlier, it all depends on how bad you want to stay with her. We're still together and happy today!
 
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Old 05-16-2006, 03:10 AM
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In my experiance at college. they CAN work, but both people have to make the effort, and CRAZY CRAZY stuff happens at college, I'd say 1/2 the people I knew in LDR's were still in them at the end of college
 
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Old 05-16-2006, 04:51 PM
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Yeah things aren't exactly working in my favor...I'm putting in plenty of effort, but she's not. Apparently she's not interested. I Guess things aren't gonna change after all.
 
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Old 05-16-2006, 05:30 PM
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bigger pond, more fish.
 
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Old 05-25-2006, 10:06 PM
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yes they can work, I met my girlfriend online over 3 years ago and she lives 500miles away. Our wedding is July 22 this year and she is moving down here to FL. It takes A LOT of work but well worth it in my opinion. If you love her then your gonna have to work hard to make it through.
 
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Old 05-26-2006, 12:00 AM
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Of course they CAN work. But BOTH people (important BOTH) have to be willing to put in the effort and committment. it takes a great deal of maturity and you have to really focus on not giving in. In college I'm sure that's more difficult.

I personally didn't think it was worth it, but give props to those who make it work. I got into one 1/2 hour drive away. You really have to trust each other and be honest. now I'm in one that's 20 minutes away and I still don't like not being around her (she goes to a different school). I find it extremely difficult to trust, and that doesn't really make it very easy. Shes going to college 5 hours from mine and I am not going to let it go like that because I don't want one person to screw up. I just feel like it's too easy to do and there's too much out there to experience. Get to know new girls, you'll like them too If you really do like each other, you'll run into each other again and find out. Good luck to ya though. It's obviously worked for others!
 



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