YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MEMPHIS WHEN:

1.You know that the Purple Church is not a real church..
2.You know that 107.5 will change names every year without fail..
3.You know Brooks Road is the best place to pick up really friendly
girls..
4.you know that MusicFest = Mudfest
5.you've had your picture taken by the beggar on Beale street.. or you
have taken your picture with him
6.a basketball game has more attendance than a football game..
7.prince mongo & jerry "the king" lawler are on the mayors ballot
8.you go to all you can eat wings night at hooters on a weekly basis
and know all the girls by name...and you get cut off regularly by the 12
pitcher limit
9.your offered a 2 for 1 and it doesn't involve food
10.you go out and you recognize people from myspace
11.you know who the bell ringer is..he did your prom
12.you know a member of a rap group that actually won an Oscar..
13.you know what every member of the Fleming Family looks like..
14.you want to see the Watson's girl in a bikini to see how fat she is
getting each year
15.you have seen an It's All Good Auto Sales billboard and laughed
16.you went to the Mall of Murder and ice skated and survived..
17.you have waited for 4 hours to get a drivers license or have your car
inspected..
18.You know what the Dirty Dova is.
19.Beale street is what you look forward to when you turn 21.
20.You don't really care about the grizzlies.
21.DeAngelo for da Heisman
22.You understand what Makin Easy Money Pimpin Hoes In Style really
stands for.
23.Radio rap is not real rap, unless the program director is Lee Cagle.
24.Three Six Mafia, Project Pat, Frayser Boy, Lil Wyte is real rap.
25.Orange Mound to G'town you gotta represent.
26.You know what real Barbecue is.
27.Nonconnah means Autobahn
28.You're scared of Germantown Cops
29.Running from police at field parties is a way of life
30.Someone in your family has an Elvis story
31.Your'e proud of the number one violent crime rate Memphis holds.
Because that means you survived living in Memphis.
32.Rednecks or not, we still can kick your ***.
33.Our tap water is like your Evian.
34.Our mayor does drugs, how hardcore is that?
35.Goin muddin' is a sport
36.You drive like your gonna kill everyone else.
37.The city sucks till you can drive. Then its amazing
38.Getting drunk at weddings is pretty much required
39.The weather doesn't go with the season.
40.We know how to party....the right way
41.You just call the Mississippi "The River."
42.You didn't know that the Old Bridge and the New Bridge had names.
43.You've seen all the members of Saliva at Wal-Mart.
44.All year long you look forward to May... because Memphis in May is da
bomb:Rajun Cajun, Musicfest, Greekfest, BBQfest, and Italianfest. Need I say more?
45.You've had to switch the thermostat from heat to air in the same day
46.You can say "Take Poplar" and get anywhere from anywhere.
47.You know you can make it anywhere in memphis in "about 15 minutes"
48.You call the city a *****hole, but you'll fight any out-of-towners
that agree with you.
49.You know Going South or to the boats means you are going to the
casinos.
50.You know what is means to "Bleed blue and grey"
51.You still call it Memphis State

 

52) Skeeter Season makes chemical and biological warfare acceptable.
53) Your light bill teaches you that ninety degrees with a fan running feels like sixty degrees.
54) You learn to find river mile markers so that you can keep and eat the catfish you catch.
55) You learn the difference between "Road closed to through traffic" and "Go ahead boy, you fish around here".
56) You judge a fishing spot along the river by the ratio of old shell casings and six-pack remains versus the tangles of old line and hooks.
57) You judge women by the number of teeth that are natural.
58) The advertisements are amusing, but you wish they would shut up and put some music on the radio...
59) If you can drive a mile or more without seeing some kind of a church house - you ain't in memphis.

 

60. You compare ALL soft serve Ice Creme to that of the Sno Creme castle.

61. You dress to go out keeping handgun concelement in mind.

62. You know how to shoot a tooth pick through a straw, and can hit any target within 50 ft.

63. You've tried to beat the record for consecutive rides on the Pippin'

64. You know where the Beach within Reach is.

65. You and 5 of your friends have all piled into a car to go on a road trip only to buy a gallon of vodka at Walgreens.

66. You know which Lunati make car parts and which does not.

67. You know Officer Selby is not human, but a robot from the future, and you've been in line waiting on him to give you a ticket.

68. You've seen The Rocky Horror Show acted out.

69. You know someone who was in The Firm or Hustle and Flow. not both.

70. You know it's time to go home when the next round of beers is in bottles not styrofoam cups.

71. and finally you're glad your late grandmother had a chance to vote in the last 5 elections.

........ she passed 10 years ago.

 

72) You realise that all of the elected officials are buds off of the same family tree.
73) The difference between black and white depends on the county line.
74) Hate, like love, has no reason behind it.
75) What you learned in social studies seems impractical.
76) The future ain't here yet
77) You want all of the advantages of modern living, but you don't want it within five miles of your house...

 

78) You know all of the Frayser and G'town jokes and realize that it's not the same humor!

 

79) You realise the difference between "Wattaburger" and a grilled hamburger
80) It occurs to you that "Whitehaven" could be renamed more appropriately at any time....
81) The odds of finding a German in Germantown are next to nicht...
82) You have to go to two different stores to build a "Boilermaker"
83) The only obvious difference between the young white and young black children is the size of the cars they put those rims and tires on...
(They are all on the right track)

Fuel efficiency begins at the wheel.