Pun Contest
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Senior User
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 248
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Pun Contest
Here's one from my friend:
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Ha...ha...ha...
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Ha...ha...ha...
Tuned
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 442
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From: Palmyra
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on deer skin;
another slept on elk skin; the third slept on the skin
of a hippopotamus. All three became pregnant. Each of
the first two had a baby boy. The one who slept on
hippo skin had twin boys. This proves that the squaw
of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws
of the other two hides.
another slept on elk skin; the third slept on the skin
of a hippopotamus. All three became pregnant. Each of
the first two had a baby boy. The one who slept on
hippo skin had twin boys. This proves that the squaw
of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws
of the other two hides.
Elder User
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 871
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From: Perkasie, Pa.
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Hotshot
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 12,679
Likes: 15
From: BC, Canada
Dennis goes to a costume party with a girl on his back.
"What the heck are you?" asks the host.
"I'm a snail" says Dennis.
"But... you have a girl on your back" replies the host.
"Yeah," he says, "that's Michelle!"
"What the heck are you?" asks the host.
"I'm a snail" says Dennis.
"But... you have a girl on your back" replies the host.
"Yeah," he says, "that's Michelle!"
Elder User
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 871
Likes: 0
From: Perkasie, Pa.
Ken Kramer's doctor told him there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
A Stock Market Report as seen in 2005
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
A Stock Market Report as seen in 2005
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
Fleet Mechanic
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,782
Likes: 15
From: Lower Mainland B.C.
(A few I thought up)
In buisness news at the start of 2006:
Computers were starting up
Trucks hauled assets
GMC Grew More Capital
Dodge avoided bankruptcy
Robes continued their warm up
Slippers prevented cold-feet among stockholders
Beer sales surged aHEAD
Nascar interest grew day by Daytona
Video game profits were frenetic
Plasma screens burned out
Scanners reproduced their product
Keyboards were hit hard
Belts held up their own
Tires remained in the black
What do you call a clown running for office?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... a PUN-dit [BA DA DUM(drum rimshot)]
In buisness news at the start of 2006:
Computers were starting up
Trucks hauled assets
GMC Grew More Capital
Dodge avoided bankruptcy
Robes continued their warm up
Slippers prevented cold-feet among stockholders
Beer sales surged aHEAD
Nascar interest grew day by Daytona
Video game profits were frenetic
Plasma screens burned out
Scanners reproduced their product
Keyboards were hit hard
Belts held up their own
Tires remained in the black
What do you call a clown running for office?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... a PUN-dit [BA DA DUM(drum rimshot)]