Tax Time
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Post Fiend
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 24,418
Likes: 3
From: San Francisco, Ca.
Tax Time
Dear Internal Revenue Service,
Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1)
1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).
One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely, A Satisfied Taxpayer
Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1)
1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).
One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely, A Satisfied Taxpayer
Posting Legend
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 30,255
Likes: 37
I am afraid your items would not be acceptable to the IRS or the GAO since they do not come complete with a six foot tall stack of paper each with test results and specifications certifying that they are indeed a toilet seat, hammer, or screw. Unfortunately that is what makes those items soooo expensive. It takes a but load of people to run those tests and certify that paperwork. Of course it take a but load of people to inspect that paperwork when it is received and to destructively test some of those items which raises the price on the remaining items a corresponding amount. This "certification" process is why it is much cheaper to do everything with private enterprise.
Postmaster
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,758
Likes: 7
From: colorado
this thread has already been done....but since i am getting $6100.00 back...dear IRS i do not need nor want any toilet seats hammers or screws...a check will be just fine
https://www.ford-trucks.com/forums/s...d.php?t=456522
https://www.ford-trucks.com/forums/s...d.php?t=456522
Last edited by wlihntr; Feb 4, 2006 at 01:59 AM.
Hotshot
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 12,170
Likes: 5
From: The hills of No. Calif.
That link won't work for anyone who's not a Supporter since that thread is in the Members Only forum. Ben's just sharing that with the rest 'o the folks... 
Got mine all taken care of, no waiting till the last minute for me! C'mon Uncle Sam, mail me that check. I got a truck to finish!
Eric...how much exactly is a "but load"?(or buttload, if you will)
Or is it one of those undefinable amounts?
Got mine all taken care of, no waiting till the last minute for me! C'mon Uncle Sam, mail me that check. I got a truck to finish!
Eric...how much exactly is a "but load"?(or buttload, if you will)
Or is it one of those undefinable amounts?
Last edited by TigerDan; Feb 4, 2006 at 02:11 AM.
Posting Guru
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,226
Likes: 0
speaking of tax dollar waste(an lord knows theres lots of it-waste that is)I just read that all the hospitals in our area a not aloud to have a on site store room for supplies anymore, they have to have all supplies come from what they call a central store,so the reporter gave an example of this marvelous plan. a hospital 30 miles away from the central store need some batteries, after the stores delivery service had closed for the day. they had the batteries sent 30 miles by a cab company to the hospital. just one small example of your tax dollars at work. Boy I love to pay taxes to that kind of smooth running system
