I said no to a company offering me double what I was making here,because my ex didn't want to move to Michigan. It was the stupidest move, I made saying no. Since then she and I spilit,best move I did make. It was the single biggest regret I have. If the money's good then she will either see the light or move on. Great jobs don't come along everyday.If she moves on it was never ment to be! But in the end it is your choice and yours alone. You did your best and discuse it with her and she can't see your vision.Then it means to her,her path is more important then yours.

 

Do what you gotta do. Even in a relationship you need to put yourself first. In five years she may be the one telling you to take a hike when she finds someone new - and don't tell me it'll never happen. It just might for all you know. And if it does, she will act as if the whole last five years had never happened and you will be dropped like a worthless POS. You always need to think of whats best for both of you and yourself in particular. It's my belief to always stay true to one another and to always nurture a relationship. This said, if your career takes a turn toward a direction where it would be better for both of you to move and she insists on keeping you (both) down - that's the beginning signs of her showing her selfishness. It will only get worse. People kid themselves all the time. Just ask the guys who's wives never go out anymore and won't do the things they used to do together as a young couple. See how happy they are. Take care of you first - especially if it's a situation which will benefit her.

She no likey? Boot her now!!! - BEFORE it's too late.

 

Look at long range forecasts and pray for a snowy week in Ohio. That would be a good time to fly to Orlando for a few days. For you in construction, and her in nursing, it sounds like as ideal of an opportunity as one gets. For a lot of people, this might not be the dream place they think it is looking from the outside. For you though, you may be perfect candidates.

That said, you may get here and hate it, and she may love it. Who knows. This isn't the central Florida of 30 years ago, or even 10 years ago, as BikerWithTruck has said. Traffic sucks. We have messed up road systems that should have been fixed before the boom was on. They knew it was coming, but really do not have the roads to support a lot of what is going on. The people with the power to do anything thought roads would bring urban sprawl. It came without the roads! Now they are behind because of this thinking. A good example of this is Lake county, where I live. You will become very familiar with Lake county because a lot of the buildup of Orlando includes South Lake (Clermont.) Lake county still thinks the way they did 20 years ago. Now they have a mess. People can't drive. Of course, those people moved here, so blame them It is hot and humid here from May through October, generally. But from November through April, most would not trade it for anything. If it kind of looks like I am bashing the place, keep in mind that I have never lived anywhere else. And, at this time I am not really thinking about moving. So that has to say something.

You are going to have to get her here and let her see the real central Florida. You could take her to the theme parks or the beach, but that is not a good representation of how life here is going to be. You don't want to start off with deliberately misleading her. Of course there is no harm in hitting the attractions too. Most importantly, your families will probably end up here, themselves, in a few years anyway Might as well get on down here a get started.



I'll add one more thing . My parents are from Virginia. My Dad had thought about coming to Florida for some time before they had even met. My Mom had a very tight-knit family and she was completely against it when my Dad was offered a position in Florida with the company he worked for. They left Virginia in 1962 and have been here ever since. My Mom still goes to Virginia for visits every now and then, but she absolutely hates it there and cannot wait to get back here. For a long time they made several trips up there a year, but that gradually tapered off to once, maybe twice a year. My Dad on the other hand, I think he would move back to Virginia now if given the opportunity. Strange how things change.

 

Good job in Florida with a real future, young guy just out of college with a golden opportunity???? Hmmmm. Guess I would go to Florida and leave her home with Mommy. If she's not willing to cut the apron strings now, doubt she ever will.... Probably not what you wanted to hear, just my opinion.....

 

Excellent point. I didn't want to be the one to say it, but it's true. I had an ex like that. Most miserable relationship I ever had. Competing with her Mom is no way to live.

 

I think everyone should move states at least once. When you have a job lined up its so much easier. Also when your young and dont have a housefull of stuff thats the time to do it. Anyway you could always move back.

I left Ohio a few years ago after college, I fly back to see family. I am glad I left. Florida would be fun I say check it out.

As far as the woman. When my wife and I got married I was transfered out of state 6months later. Of course she came with me, away from her family, and the only place she had ever lived. It brought us much closer because the only people we knew in the new city were each other. Now she has found a much better job, and overall has had a positive experience.

From my point of view you dont have that much to loose if you have a good job lined up.

 

Ya man. A little Orlando history. When Disney arrived in the early 70's Orlando KNEW that a boom was likely. They over built roads, more lanes and roads than needed. I remember riding my first motorcycle through Orlando boulevards at 11:00 pm on Friday nights and not even seeing other vehicles on the roads. It worked...too well. It became among the fastest growing areas in the country, and just kept growing. Fifteen years ago (1990) I heard that Semoran Blvd (runs North from the airport) was carrying 30 times it's rated capacity daily or some rediculous thing like that. So sad.

 

There's alot of good advice here and I don't think you need to worry about it being one sided. From a woman's point of view, alot of the same things hold true. I'm sorry if this is going to sound harsh, but grandparents are her parents responsibility and the niece is her sister/brother's responsibility. You two have commited to each other, decisions need to be made based on what is right for you each individually and together as a couple but not all these non-immediate family relatives.

She is not currently employed in her field (that is, she's obviously not registered yet if she hasn't graduated) and she will be in a field where she can write her own ticket to anywhere in the world right now. Trust me, I've been 7 years in health care staffing including 3 in the southern states (TX, LA, AL, TN, SC, sorry no FL) and the nursing shortage is still severe. Your prospects in the area are also good according to yourself and other posters in this thread. So although she might be somewhat scared of the move, now is the time to do it when you are young, unencumbered, and with all the prospects in the world. She needs to get over her fear or she will regret it later.

And if you want to put my viewpoint in perspective, I am a 42 yo female who has just moved BACK from 20 years in paradise (BC) in order to help care for my aging mother. No regrets at all, I'm glad I did what I wanted for 20 years so I can help out now when the need is more dire. Your fiance's desire to care for others is admirable but she needs to set priorities or she will burn herself out as well as have lifelong regrets about what might have been. And if she's not willing to see this in an objective way, you need to take a step back and decide if this is the right relationship for you.

 

Excellant advise in that quote above. I should have done that when I went to Arizona in 2004. I left Arizona a few months ago. I should have lived there 6 months to a year and tried more than one job.

Possibly I would have liked it. My situation was more complex, I have 3 kids. We both have large pretty well knit families. My kids didn't see any relatives in over a year, and the quality of life kinda sucked.

I think it depends on many factors, a great job helps, but it wasn't enough for me. I have other things I like to do besides work. I also ended up in a neighborhood after being in the country all my adult life. That absouloutely sucked.

If I were you, take the job. Plan on going for a couple months minimum alone. Feel it out. Make sure all the job hype is not just that. Fly home to visit every couple weeks, fly her down alternately to visit. Break it in slow to her. Phone calls work wonders for homesickness.

I really wanted to head to Colorado, I think it was Steamboat Springs I had a offer in after the Arizona thing started drying up. We passed, but that was mostly my wife. I would have loved to have tried it and kick myself everyday that I didn't. Even when your married, you need to find some middle ground and do things for you sometimes.

Good luck.

And to be honest, if the tables were turned, I'd say my goodbyes to her NOW and go. You live once man, don't let a good oppurtunity pass you up due to your fiance. Your life man, live it how you want.

 

tell her it could be worse, at least your not moving to south florida!!!!!

 

Everybody keeps saying its your life do what you want. She is my life, she is what I want; Me Her and Florida. I just was trying to get some suggestions on convincing her into it.

Last night though, we talked about it more over a few brews and she agreed, If I get the job Florida her we come.

And as a side note, if I do get the job, I am going to tear that town up.

"Name's Brian Poeppelman, I'm here to get drunk."

 

I can tell you, there is a nursing shortage in FL as well. It is common to get a sizeable 'signing bonus', at least here in West Central FL. One other comment- I doubt Ohio will seal its borders after you leave. That's what's great about America- there are so many diverse places to live, and it's (relatively) easy to up and move. You can always go back, but I doubt you will.