thinkin with the little haid'll always get ya in trubble

 

Riding my fourwheeler through an unknown field at 60 mph. Those ditches jump out at ya pretty fast!

Fractured skull, 120+ stitches across forehead, badly spraigned ankle, black & swolen eye.

All this...and I WAS wearing my helmet and goggles. Not a dang scratch on the wheeler either...it stayed on all 4 wheels the whole time.

 

the dumbest thing i ever did,without a doubt, was reading this while drinking a cup of coffee.
because of you, i had to clean the monitor, screen, keyboard, and table.

 

I think I have done several totaly and completely moronic things .Worst was going back to my home town after 3 years and taking my CR250R with me. I rode the sand pit wide open came to the edge of the tree line. I figured the edge was still a good 30 feet away from it as it was 3 years before. I was wrong! The tree line was the top.The drop at top speed took me a while to realize this is going to hurt. 60º banking slope below me,a huge pit coming fast. Some where in the middle was an access road cutting across and up. I missed it and bailed just before the rear wheel drove deeply home past the frame and then the front followed . Mangeling the rims,forks and frame. A nice walk away for me but the bike didn't. I think I spit sand for 3 weeks after it.

 

A two gallon bucket filled almost to the brim with night crawlers we purloined from the local golf course grounds. Thought someone had discovered our thievery and made a hasty get away in the buddy's Studebaker Lark. During the escape, the bucket on the backseat turned over. By the time we reached home, not a crawler to be found. Two weeks later, that Lark stunk so bad his parents wouldn't even let him park it anywhere near the house.

 

Don't know how I forgot this one....

Me and a buddy were already bored three days into school vacation, 1981. Geoff and I took a bunch of firecrackers and bottle rockets and peeled them open and put all the gunpowder (and wicks) into a beer bottle. Did I say a bunch? Well, it was more like a *****load.

At some point Geoff decided to light a wick and drop it into the bottle. We actually believed it would just smoke and spark and stuff....wrong.

I got a piece of glass in my eyelid and still carry a scar from the stictches to this day. My dad, about 40' away, took a piece through his lower lip - 5 stitches for him. Geoff miraculously came away unscathed.....

Went to the emergency room, got stitched up and never heard another word about it.....

 

speaking of fireworks, a friend was a regional rep for a big sales firm his whole life before retiring 2 years ago. every July 4th, he would throw a big bash for friends, family, and salesmen. about 5 years ago, he decided it was time for the youngest son (14 at the time) to get involved with the aerial display. he gave him the boxes of mortars, and told him to set them out, in order, at the launcher tubes. the launcher was a series of steel tubes of various diameter 3 feet long welded to a steel plate. 1 inch to 5 inches. seems that there was a mixup, and instead of 2 inch mortars, they sent 2.5 inch. the kid did a good job, fitting each mortar to the tubes, and set the boxes in front of the corresponding tubes. he set the 2.5's at the 3 inch tube. all was ok till 1 got stuck in the tube. dang thing blew up in the tube, sending little pieces of 1/4 inch steel and burning fireworks debris into the crowd of about 100 people, trees, cars, trucks, and garage. amazingly, there were no injuries. a few pieces of clothing with cuts, a few broken windows, and a hollow oak tree that burned inside for 3 days. needless to say, that was the end of mortars at July 4th parties.

 

Wow. What a great thread! Seems to be a theme here involving women, explosives, drinking and motorized things... who would beleive it, coming from a Ford truck forum! heres my list of "hold my beer" moments

* "35 miles an hour!? On this turn? Betcha I can do double that!" - cop at the bottom.

*strapped a flash light to my minibike with duct tape and rode it down a mountain trail after drinking tequilla - still have the scars(flashlight fell off & I hit a tree)

*" Hey guys? where'd Andy go? He sure seemed P.O.'D - 'course he always gets violent mad when he's drunk - I'll go see whats wrong!(hee yuk yuk!
-great idea) - He beat me half to death.

*"Wow, we sure spilt alot of gas in the driveway...I'll just burn it of with my lighter " - four foot flames - singed eyebrows, hair- need new underwear.

* "Huh, our camp fire aint taking off too good - I'll pour alittle gas on it"( my brother says) - caught the neck of the can on fire, he panicks and throws it in a dry field like a granade. spent next ten minutes screaming and stomping out flames with our coats
I could go on.... but don't wanna take up th whole thread!

 

Ok, ok,... just one more...

was restoring a 54 GMC truck when I was twenty (wised up and switched to Fords ) had it down to the frame, cab and motor, had a crate in it for a seat to move it around the drive way.- got drunk ,showed friends how easy it would peel out in the driveway with out all the wieght - crate collapses under wieght of all the beer I consumed -drove truck into the garage(peeling out as I went )and through the back wall. oof.

 

Ahh, my worst was cleaning up around the property when my folks were coming down for a visit. I was burning trash when I found an old gas can that had some methanol in it. It's vent had been open for two years. Methanol likes water very much, so I had figured that most of what was in the can was barely burnable trash liquid. I figured that I'd toss the can in the burn barrel and forget about it, especially since I had acquired a rather large number of gallon cans somehow. Well, the can never quite made it into the barrel before it exploded. I had 2nd degree flashburns on my face, arm and chest. My folks got to pick me up at the hospital next morning.

 

Spray can of starting fluid, V8 that had jumped time, leaning over engine while bud cranked it.

Any questions?

I had a burr haircut for months, took my eyebrows nearly as long to grow back.

 

Seems like I've done one each (at least) of all of the above.

Let's see now...

1. Oil soaked distributor .. brother forgot a plug. Push starting a fresh backyard rebuild. Cranking distributor by hand, leaning on fender as we push car, to get engine near proper timing.... find it.. 50,000 volts up arm, down to toes. Never did that again. Nope.

2. Magneto.. remember them? Old cars used to have one to run on. Brother..again... hands it to me and says spin that wheel once. Naturally, it's a heavy dude, so I'm hanging on tight... yup..another electical jolt..this time from lap down, up arm. Walked funny for an hour after that. Really mad at brother for a week.

3. Brother again ... charges up a condenser (with above said magneto) and says "Here..catch!" I caught it. Try it.. you'll like it.

( Can we tell yet that I'm a big fan of electricity, by now?)

4. Trusting my brother, when I was a kid.

 

bad thermocouple on the furnis, my dad says get down there I can't see what I'm doing and tell me when I get close (trying to relight it). left dad, no the other left, ok back a little, bam! neither of us thought about it running, and I got a face full of fire. went to church the next day and a girl told me my eye lashed looked funny, went in the bathroom. What eye lashes?

when i was about 7 my best friend and I decided to try and parachute off his roof. pretty typical 7yr old kid stuff. except we were smarter than your average 7 year old (so we thought) after all the normal stuff had failed like trash bags, umbrellas, etc. we stole one of his moms bedsheets cut it in half, and proceeded to make two parachutes, complete with string and all. miraculalsy wasn't hurt in that endevor.

same buddy, about 14-15 years old, we needed a lawn mower engine for our hover craft (never finished it). we found a nice guy at a garage sale that gave us one that didn't run. first thing we thought to check was the spark plug. "we need to take it out and pull the cord and see if it sparks, yeah good plan. hey if you hold it by the white part, you'll be cool, ok. OW! it bit me, daggum! well did it spark? I dunno I dropped it, sorry, I'll hold it tighter this time"

there was one time not so much stupidity. we lit a mortar and dropped it in the tube and waited. smart dog ran and grabbed the tube and starts headin' for us. well incase you didn't figure the tube is now pointing sideways. we all take off in diff. directions with the dog in hot persuit. fortunatly it didn't hit anybody, scared that dog pretty good though.

or that one time we made homemade napalm and lit a computer on fire. nobody got hurt (minus ross in the roman candle war, real thin nylon pants aren't really the best choice of armor for that activity. Sry Ross, hope you didn't wanna have kids)
we also put like 12 mortars in a diff. computer, lit 'em and stuck the case on real fast. that was way cool! we did like 12 computers.
Awesome thing was, that time we set the computer on fire with Napalm, the county we were in had a "no fires unless it's for cooking" law. so the guys mom who's house we were at brought us out a basket with s'more fixin's! "no sir officer we always roast marshmallows over a burning computer"

golly I'll stop here, They're still considered stupid if no one got hurt right?

 

"hey if you hold it by the white part, you'll be cool, ok. OW! it bit me, daggum! well did it spark? I dunno I dropped it, sorry, I'll hold it tighter this time"

LMAO! I'd forgot about that ! did the same thing at around 14 or 15. Wheeee!

 

I don't think you're the typical male child if you don't sample spark plug voltage at least once when growing up. I've had that happen to me a few times.