You know you are getting old when...

1. Reruns of Lawrence Welk start looking pretty good

2. You begin paying more attention to laxative commercials

3. For a couple of seconds you forget what the "red" traffic light means

4. The word "bifocals" is no longer a dirty word

5. You start acting like your father

6. Gray hair suddenly makes you look distinguished

7. You con yourself into believing that you look better bald anyway

8. You remember The Days of Camelot

9. You don't trust anyone under 40

10. Everyone is calling you "sir"

11. You find yourself calling people under 40 "kids"

12. You remember going to the drive-in when you were a kid in you PJ's and eating home made popcorn and hot dogs from home and watching Disney films

13. You wear a robe and house slippers

14. Your kids or grandkids ask you what it was like in the "old days"

15. You remember most yards had a Doughboy swimming pool

15. Milk was delivered to your door step

16. You click through the channels until you find an old B&W movie

17. You don't know how to play video games but you remember "Pong"

18. You find yourself saving pieces of Aluminum foil and empty margerine tubs

19. You can't remember locking the door and turning off the stove before you left

20. Your glove compartment is full of maps and you joined AAA

OK, have I missed any?

-1bigsteve (o:

 

You save old razor blades for the war effort

You have a victory garden - whether the weeds are winning or not!

You remember when domestic beer tasted better

You miss seeing "Burma Shave" signs

You know what "Burma Shave" signs are...

The language in TV and Movies disgusts you

You wonder what has happened to the concepts of "Heroism" and "Courage"

You have been searching for evidence of morals or ethics and can find neither...

Poverty bothers you far less than governmental intrusiveness

On a good day, what happens to your tomato plants matters more to you than oil futures...

You can't find someones phone number, and suddenly realise they are deceased anyway

Your grandkids make you smile, your spouse is tolerable, and your children are SOMEONE ELSES PROBLEM!!!

 

When you stop making fun of those old f**ts passing you by, because they begin to seem pretty close buddies of yours!!

 

My god that's me on almost all of 'em, is there help for me? I may get old but never grow up, a quick street drag makes me feel as I "still have it".
.....=o&o>.....

 

You know you're getting old when watching a Gilligan's Island rerun, you find your self thinking, " Hey, that Mrs. Howell is looking pretty good"

 

you know you are old when you forget to zip up. and you are senile when you forget to zip down!

 

You try to find a starter motor for your favorite car, and Auto Zone has never heard of it...

You're upset because Der WeinerSchnitzel no longer offers collectable Coca Cola glasses with every purchase.

You can't find a Der Weinerschnitzel...

Your Doctor has excluded THICK, FAT, JUICY, STEAMING, BROILED PRIME RIB from your diet - malisciously, it seems...

All of your favorite vices are no longer allowed.

"T" bone steaks are on the "VICE" list all of a sudden... WHY????

 

Eeeeeyyooouuu... I'm not that far gone yet! Did you know Dawn Wells is 67 and still looking good? Hey guys, there is hope for us yet!!

-1bigsteve (o:

 

Steve - refresh.

You might be amused

 

I'm a medicinal outlaw.

I do what I want anyway.

 

What?! No Der Weinerschnitzel? No chili dogs?!! Oh my Gawd!! And no more ribs!! I'm going to go over there and give these people a piece of my mind! Where's my cane... and what's my fly doing open? Where did I put my teeth...

-1bigsteve (o:

 

This is REALLY sad, I'm 25 and already meet most of that criteria! *runs screaming into a wall*, there I feel better now...

 

25? Wait until you are kicking the crap out of 50. Good times are ahead! I refuse to get older, I refuse to get older...

-1bigsteve (o:

 

I feel like the a$$ end of hard times with the back injury I have. Fear of the knife worse than the wife now that's a switch (blade).
.....=o&o>.....

 

Just remember:

Growing old is mandatory
Growing up is not