Mixed emotions today
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Joined: Aug 2001
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From: Drummonds, TN USA
Come to think of it - november to december are usually not so great. But I try not to let myself get too negative if I can help it.
About fifteen years ago was a bad turning point in my whole future, and this year is the beginning of the turn around for that. Something inside me has been rebelling for a few years now at how bad things became because of a badly chosen relationship and I want very much to get back to were I was before all of (this) began.
There are dreams and adventures I always wanted to see in real life - and I'm going to get them back into play.
STARTING with getting back in shape. In the last 24 hours I re-established my baseline at much of what I used to do in the gym. But this is not the thread to go into it...
About fifteen years ago was a bad turning point in my whole future, and this year is the beginning of the turn around for that. Something inside me has been rebelling for a few years now at how bad things became because of a badly chosen relationship and I want very much to get back to were I was before all of (this) began.
There are dreams and adventures I always wanted to see in real life - and I'm going to get them back into play.
STARTING with getting back in shape. In the last 24 hours I re-established my baseline at much of what I used to do in the gym. But this is not the thread to go into it...
Last edited by Greywolf; Jul 11, 2005 at 02:30 PM.
Posting Guru
Joined: Apr 2005
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From: covington wa.
Yah its tough, my mom died at a young age of 54. The worst part
is she had been dieing for 47 years she had skarlet fever as a child
And the day came as the oldest son had to be the one to make the
desicion and pull the plug( for anyone who doesnt understand its
a long story). For all who have had family of friends pass its hard
to ever forget God bless all of you and stay strong and remember.
is she had been dieing for 47 years she had skarlet fever as a child
And the day came as the oldest son had to be the one to make the
desicion and pull the plug( for anyone who doesnt understand its
a long story). For all who have had family of friends pass its hard
to ever forget God bless all of you and stay strong and remember.
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Joined: Apr 2004
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From: FLATONIA & HOUSTON
Originally Posted by fred_79f250
As crappy as it is to loose a parent too soon, 20 years later it would be reasonable for your mom's passing to have been dealt with. This would not be a slight to her. It would not make you a bad son, or heartless or superficial. The modern pc garbage about grieving on a schedule is exactly that - garbage. Sure, everyone grieves on their own schedule and in their own way, and something as major as losing your mother too young leaves a mark of some kind. But, that said, it's not necessary, and certainly not desirable, that it mark you for life to the point that a joyous occasion like an anniversary be as marred as your describe.
Sure, a few bitter-sweet thoughts might cross your mind. But a whole month of mixed emotions? No. I doubt strongly that any mother would wish that on their son.
Rather, I suspect a mom would want her son to move on and enjoy the pleasure of having found "the one".
There are ways to think of such things that are respectful of a mother's memory yet not depressing. Decide that finding your perfect mate was in some way a gift from your mother and honour her by making the most of that. Honour her as a woman by transferring the love you wish you could give her to your mate in this significant month. Let her loss be meaningful by learning from it - take extra care of any health issues with you and your mate to ensure that neither of you suffers the loss of the other before your time. Emulate your mom's positive personality traits toward your mate, that another woman of quality might benefit from them. In short, the best way anyone can honour their parents memory is to be the man they know their parents would have wished they'd be. And at a time like this, I know my own deceased parent would be wagging their finger saying "Now, Fred, you stop being silly and give that wonderful girl I sent you a month of cheer. That's how you can best honour me."
So many ways to respect and honour her memory without letting it become the kind of depressing thing you know your mom would not have wanted you to succumb to.
Take care.
Sure, a few bitter-sweet thoughts might cross your mind. But a whole month of mixed emotions? No. I doubt strongly that any mother would wish that on their son.
Rather, I suspect a mom would want her son to move on and enjoy the pleasure of having found "the one".
There are ways to think of such things that are respectful of a mother's memory yet not depressing. Decide that finding your perfect mate was in some way a gift from your mother and honour her by making the most of that. Honour her as a woman by transferring the love you wish you could give her to your mate in this significant month. Let her loss be meaningful by learning from it - take extra care of any health issues with you and your mate to ensure that neither of you suffers the loss of the other before your time. Emulate your mom's positive personality traits toward your mate, that another woman of quality might benefit from them. In short, the best way anyone can honour their parents memory is to be the man they know their parents would have wished they'd be. And at a time like this, I know my own deceased parent would be wagging their finger saying "Now, Fred, you stop being silly and give that wonderful girl I sent you a month of cheer. That's how you can best honour me."
So many ways to respect and honour her memory without letting it become the kind of depressing thing you know your mom would not have wanted you to succumb to.
Take care.
I miss my parents, but I don't grieve for them because they are in a far better place now & together again.
Remember the good things \ wise things about your mom & continue on with life to the fullest.
I don't know your mom ,but I bet she is like most mom's & wouldn't want you greiving for her,she is far better now.
Take heart that you will see her again my friend.
Elder User
Joined: Apr 2004
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From: State of Misery (Missouri
Most of the Holidays here. As a kid, the two big holidays were Labor Day, and Christmas. Labor day, we got together with family friends (3rd generation). Long story shortened, Grandma got a brain tumor, and we spent Christmas in the hospital, not knowing if she was going to make it. She ended up coming out and doing the Hospice thing. Family had left on a trip do to not handling the stress well (doctors orders, take a break) I stayed behind. 24 hours later, I am putting an APB out on them in another state, while signing the death certificate and getting a receipt for the body. Really needed Labor day to happen to be able to finally relax and say goodbye in my own way. Everybody else said since she wasn't around anymore, there really wasn't any point. So now I stress out on Labor day, and get stuck going to see the family around Christmas, and watch the kids argue over toys, and the family traditionally gets into a fight, I just sit around grumpy, thinking about what it's supposed to be about. And thinking about everybody who does have to spend it in the hospital.
While I've said goodbye, since I ended up with the house. just too many memories.
While I've said goodbye, since I ended up with the house. just too many memories.
Gone but not forgotten.
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,521
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Originally Posted by Mil1ion
Something about Mother & Son (only son),connection I suppose.
Dono
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