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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 09:15 AM
  #1  
Smaug's Avatar
Smaug
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,570
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From: Appling, GA
post joke

Wow, this will be my 1000th post. Not bad for a guy who doesn't talk alot. That song Title thread has really helped though. Anyway, here is my 1000th post joke, cleaned up a little of course.

Mark did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling
to sleep.

All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe
standing in front of his bed.

"What the heck are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he
asked.

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and
you are in
heaven."

"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young,"
said
Mark. "I want you to send me back immediately."

"It's not that easy", said St. Peter. "You can only return as a
dog or a hen.
The choice is your own."

Mark thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too
tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.

Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.

"I want to return as a hen," Mark replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely
feathered.

But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the
rooster.

"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said.
"How do you
like being a hen?"

"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my rear is about to explode."

"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on.
You need to
lay an egg."

"How do I do that?" Mark asked.

"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."

Mark clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an
egg was on the ground.

"Wow" Mark said. "That felt really good!"

So he clucked again and squeezed.

And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.

The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:

"Mark, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're doo-dooing all over the bed!"
 
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 10:00 AM
  #2  
FghtinIrshNvrDie's Avatar
FghtinIrshNvrDie
Postmaster
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,759
Likes: 0
From: Pleasant Hill, MO
eeeeeewwwwww

Ryan
 
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 05:58 PM
  #3  
Beast12's Avatar
Beast12
Post Fiend
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 14,413
Likes: 3
From: Sarnia, Ontario, CANADA!
HAHA! Disgusting but funny!

Congratulations on 1000.

-Matt
 
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Old Jun 16, 2005 | 11:01 AM
  #4  
Blue Oval 666's Avatar
Blue Oval 666
Senior User
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 155
Likes: 0
From: Blanchester, Ohio
LOL! Pretty funny!
 
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