Should I be insulted?
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Postmaster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,958
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From: Southern NH
Should I be insulted?
So I'm in the process of moving to a bigger place.
This past weekend, some of my smaller furniture was moved in with the help of a male friend. We were using a two wheeler with the aid of a couple of ratchet straps (I think that's how you call them). Anyways, for the life of me, I can't loosen those buggers. I can tighten them up fine, but getting them off, forget it! By the third piece of furniture, my guy friend chuckles, moves me out of the way, and says to me "You know, sometimes you do act like a chick". At the time, I just smiled. Maybe because I was delirious with exhaustion. But the more I think of it now, the more I'm a little taken aback. I'll have to ask him what he really meant by that comment, next time I chat with him. But could it be that I'm too independent? I mostly do everything for myself.
What do you guys think?
This past weekend, some of my smaller furniture was moved in with the help of a male friend. We were using a two wheeler with the aid of a couple of ratchet straps (I think that's how you call them). Anyways, for the life of me, I can't loosen those buggers. I can tighten them up fine, but getting them off, forget it! By the third piece of furniture, my guy friend chuckles, moves me out of the way, and says to me "You know, sometimes you do act like a chick". At the time, I just smiled. Maybe because I was delirious with exhaustion. But the more I think of it now, the more I'm a little taken aback. I'll have to ask him what he really meant by that comment, next time I chat with him. But could it be that I'm too independent? I mostly do everything for myself.
What do you guys think?
Posting Guru
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,787
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From: covington wa.
I would'nt take it seriously. Its kinda nice everyonce in a while for
a guy to see a woman actually needs our help in doing things esspecially in these times, you now with all the feminist out there.
a guy to see a woman actually needs our help in doing things esspecially in these times, you now with all the feminist out there.
Elder User
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 742
Likes: 2
From: Eastern Iowa
I agree. He's your friend. You know him. He was obviously not trying to insult you if you are friends. Obviously he is comfortable enough around you to say things like that, and if you blow it all out of porportion and say something than you can bet he will never be comfortable around you again. He will be afraid that you will take everything too seriously and the wrong way. So he just won't talk at all. GUYS HATE DRAMA!!!! ---Ryan
Post Fiend
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 13,873
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From: Atlanta GA
I would not feel insulted, I would feel insulted if I asked someone to help me move and they turned me down. Actions speak louder then words.
> I'll have to ask him what he really meant by that comment
I hate to say it, but, I doubt a guy would give any comment made working or moving more then 60 seconds of thought after it passed. Sounds like he was treating you as a male friend instead of a date.
Instead of focusing on one comment, I would focus on how to repay my friend with a nice gesture to let him/her know how much I liked being helped.
> I'll have to ask him what he really meant by that comment
I hate to say it, but, I doubt a guy would give any comment made working or moving more then 60 seconds of thought after it passed. Sounds like he was treating you as a male friend instead of a date.
Instead of focusing on one comment, I would focus on how to repay my friend with a nice gesture to let him/her know how much I liked being helped.
Elder User
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 723
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From: Lolo Montana
Hottie, sometime's I have the same problem with ratching straps myself when I use them for my ATV's. I'm sure he didn't mean anything bad. At least you know that he see's you as a woman and just one of the guy's. And that's a good thing.
Next time just pull out your leatherman and cut the strap's. That will prove to him that you are not just a "Chick".
Tom
Next time just pull out your leatherman and cut the strap's. That will prove to him that you are not just a "Chick".
Tom
Last edited by TWolf; May 16, 2005 at 05:35 PM. Reason: add more
i ain't rite
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 65,481
Likes: 5,542
From: Marlboro Mental Hospital.
you should have looked him square in the eye, said don't you know thats how i get my heavy work done, and then punched him 
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Elder User
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 655
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From: Miami
What he meant was, that you do everything yourself, you probably never ask for help, and he does'nt expect you too. But when you do ask for help, it brings the fact that you are a female, and really can't do everything. Trust me, that ratchet strap is an ace in the hole. For Instance, You drop the rear end out of your truck, replace the leaf springs and shocks. When you finish, perfect! He stands there marveled at your job, then he turns and say's GOOD THING THERE WAS NO RATCHET STRAPS INVOLVED! Trust me, he will use it. I would, you can ask my wife!
Al
Al
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Posting Guru
Joined: Jan 2003
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From: Magrath
Your worrying about nothing, sometimes you act just like a chick, Just kidding.
If he was chuckling when he said that then he was joking. He most likely ment nothing by it and was just trying to make a joke out of the situation.
Offer to take him out for dinner, make him hold every door for you, then when the check comes push it over to him, give him a look and then say (jokingly), "I a chick, the guy is suppose to pay for the dinner", then grab the check.
If he was chuckling when he said that then he was joking. He most likely ment nothing by it and was just trying to make a joke out of the situation.
Offer to take him out for dinner, make him hold every door for you, then when the check comes push it over to him, give him a look and then say (jokingly), "I a chick, the guy is suppose to pay for the dinner", then grab the check.
Still kicking!!
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6,061
Likes: 6
From: Kalispell, Mt.
And what's the problem with being a "chick"? I like a woman to be as independant as possible, but I also love my woman to act like a woman and not act like a tomboy all the time.
I'd not take it personal, myself. Now...if my wife said something like, "You act like such a man, sometimes!" .... I'd know she was after something...or ticked. (Most likely the latter.)
I'd not take it personal, myself. Now...if my wife said something like, "You act like such a man, sometimes!" .... I'd know she was after something...or ticked. (Most likely the latter.)
Postmaster
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3,241
Likes: 3
From: Broken Arrow, OK
Only a chick would even worry about something like this! 
You should consider it quite a compliment that he sees you as just one of the guys, but is still able to tell that you have a feminine side. Usually, it's "just a chick" or "just one of the guys", rarely both.
Posting Guru
Joined: Feb 2003
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From: The Great Plains
That means that most of the time you are great to hang out with, and that you can't be perfect 100% of the time. You must do pretty well, but need help sometimes. Don't worry about it. Wasn't an insult, and if you need to know what an insult is, I'm pretty sure I could tell you a couple, but I prefer not.
Elder User
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 545
Likes: 1
From: Shreveport, La.
Should we be insulted that you use a handle like NH-Hottie?
What about the little cartoon 'babe' you selected?
Were you insulted when your male friend offered to 'help' you move?
Mechanical abilities are more of a left brain, right brain thing anyway, not a gender thing.
Personally, I really like the differences between people and genders.
What about the little cartoon 'babe' you selected?
Were you insulted when your male friend offered to 'help' you move?
Mechanical abilities are more of a left brain, right brain thing anyway, not a gender thing.
Personally, I really like the differences between people and genders.