So here's the story: There's a guy I've been "seeing" for a short while... He stays over at my house ever day and I never get anything done because I'm either staying up late to let his hide in at 2AM or loafing around because I have a hard time motivating myself when he's around, partly because he doesn't have a key and I need to lock up after he leaves. I'm not totally blameless in this because I should be able to maintain my lifestyle... but I'm admitting that I can't with him around. What's been irking me lately is how irresponsible he is... doesn't think about ANYTHING but things that directly impact his fun or his car. I don't mind when people do things to their cars etc... but there's a cutoff. There's a limit, if your car IS your life and not just a positive thing IN your life, there's a problem. His car IS his life. He ignores school, bills, fraternity obligations... but won't forget things that tie into his car. I've been trying to let things go and I tried talking a little to him yesterday about it, but I let it go too far and I'm really, really mad now. Most recently, because this just happened:
We have a class together. There's a book we have to have a section read from by tomorrow. There were none at the bookstore when I checked, so I called and asked him if he wanted to go to Borders with me to pick up a copy. I picked him up from his walk back from class. We get to Borders and he looks over my shoulder as I type the search into the computer. He leaves. I follow to go find the book, but he finds it first. Then he announces that he's found it and asks, "So what are we doing about getting you a copy? Can you order it?" I said I'd have to drive about 40 miles down the freeway to the next closest Border's to buy one. He's fine with that. Doesn't offer to let me read his new book or anything. I've been trying to keep up with my classes and he could give a crap about his and now I've got to venture almost 100 miles out of my way to get a copy of a book I would have had if I hadn't shown any consideration for his grades! Obviously, this isn't working, but I can see that... what I'm asking about is am I overreacting by being pissed that he helped himself to the last copy of the book? Was that free game? This is so stupid... I don't know why I let stuff like this happen...

 

i dont think ur over reacting that was bogus what he pulled and just stop helpin him out and when u need to leave tell him that he has to go cuz u have to lock up sop doin things for him and hell figure it out eventualy just my 2 cents

 

Sounds like you need to trade him in on a new model. Did he come with any rebates?

 

Then he announces that he's found it and asks, "So what are we doing about getting you a copy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You could/should have answered with:

Well actually I'm thinking this is MY COPY as I was the one who suggested coming for it and I also made it possible to be here. Now it has to be figured out how YOU will get a copy"

Let me guess : late teen's or earlier 20's ?

Ask him to leave as this relationship is too one-sided (his selfishness) and it isn't working out for you.

 

You are venting, and that's OK.

If this is your boyfriend, I'd loose him. If this is your roommate, I'd find a new one.

Either way, he's an idiot. The book was yours.

 

at my university fraternity obligations reads RED FLAGS

this guy sounds like a complete moron.

 

Sounds to me like you need one of those "How to"books,as in How to dumpachump!

 

Tell ya what, I was 1/3 of the way thru and stopped reading.
Thats the important part.....the details are just details....the big picture states the obvious need for him to find a new hobby.

It is a obvious to you and everyone that he is disrupting your life.
You are unhappy when he is around.
You dont trust him.

Those are three walls you dont need him building in your world.
1. A wall keeping you from your life.
2. A wall between you and hapiness.
3. A wall blinding you from the truth.

Good luck.

 

ditch him, don't mess around with him. I met up with someone on campus and they just wanted to be in every part of my life. I'll never forget, I had to get up early for something the next morning, it's 3 am, and my phone rings, I only leave it on for an emergency in the middle of the night. Well, it turns out to be this girl that i had started hanging out with, just as friends since i already have a gf. I'm like, 3 am and your calling me, whats up with that, she just wanted to talk. I let it slide once......it happened 3 more times, the last time, i gave her a piece of my mind, haven't seen her since, well, i take that back, she called me a little while ago to come jump her car, and will say hi to me on aim every now and then, but definately, give him a piece of your mind, vent like you just did, maybe he'll get the picture, and then just ignore him, don't let him into your place, don't take him anywhere, and just don't wait on him period.

 

I'm reading this, and I'm wandering why you didnt come to the conclusion to dump this loser before you had to vent. You are not overreacting by a long shot. I mean, even if I had found that book all by myself, and knew that my gf needed one, shed have it. I can try and find another. Since he likes his car so much, you should have told him to drive the 40 miles. Dont take crap either. If he doesnt have a key, then dont give him one now either. Relationships that get in the way of how you want to live YOUR life, arnt really anything that you want to be part of.

Just remember that you dont have to take his crap, and if you feel this strongly about it, get rid of him. Let us know what you do.

 

give this child the boot....no need to type anything else

 

Sounds like a freeloading jerk to me, give him the heave-ho!

 

I'll second (or eleventh) every one else. Get rid of him.

 

Sorry to be so neg. but everyone is correct, he is lame!
I have gone to school with these types and it is all about them. From the start of the thread its obvious to see your unhappiness and frustration.
Time to move on, hopefully this is the the answer you were shopping for.
B-4 you kick him to curb rip that book out of his hands and tell him to drive 100 miles to get his own.
best of luck

 

Yep, then I'd have added "What are you going to do about getting a ride home?" (You drove him there, right?)
I'd have been ticked off, too.


"Obviously, this isn't working..."