A Close Family Member That Is Completly Worthless?

I have to ask, I guess this could be considered a rant thread.

My brother I would have to say is a complete loser. The man is in his mid-thirties & hasn't help a single job not more the 6-12 months. He is always in a bind & currently isn't working. His wife does though & pays what she can for bills. But they do own a home & 10 acres of land out in the middle of no where. They just bought it maybe 5 years ago now.

About 2 months ago I was talking to my mother & she had told me that she just gave them a certified check for $1400.00 just to pay there power bill. Apparently it was shut off for non payment & they have been living without power for about a year.

Earlier this Spring I bought his motorcycle from him for $50.00. I really didn't want the broken down thing (it will cost about a grand to get it road worthy again) but it was helping him help so I thought.

A month after that, I stopped in just to visit to find out that he had found a job & was out of state working (was fired not long after). I had a nice visit with my Sister-in-law & found out that she has been driving their car for 2 weeks prior with no brakes (except emergency brake). So guess what, I ended up going out & buying $300.00 dollars in parts & fixing their car for them.
Since then I've tried to stay away. It seemed like it was costing me money just to go visit.
Well a couple days ago I got a phone call from my mother. She decided to tell me that my brother was living out their with no heat. If you know what MN winters are like, then you will know how serious that conservation got. Today it cost me $270.00 more dollars. I went and bought him everything he needed to fix his damn heat.

I'm wondering what he is going to soak me for next. I know that he doesn't have water or septic yet so I'm sure he will try and go there.
So far that old broken down motorcycle has cost me $620.00 & I haven't even began working on it.

 

most of my worthless relatives are 3000 miles away

 

I have some kin of that sort myself, who doesn’t somewhere in their family tree.

Most of mine are well aware that they are not to darken my door, ever again. It is a source of friction with other members of my family, but I will not allow them to set foot on my property again.

Last time they were in my house it cost me a few hundred dollars, seems I started writing checks in a city I’ve never been too in my life.

 

"I can't help ya bud" Works every time. I can have cash in my pocket, but how could I help someone that will not help themself.

 

At this point, I feel like the worthless relative. Trying to find an IT job in Dallas that I'm not either grossly over or under qualified for is nearly impossible.

 

I used to be the "worthless" relative, at least in my mind. Until the job I currently have, I had yet to hold a job more than six months...I finally grew up and started being responsible, and now have a decent pick-up, a good paying job, and have finally gotten up the guts to step in and take my place as my son's Dad...he's 2 1/2, and he was 6 months old when i found out for sure that he was mine...DNA test came back 99.99% positive...had my grandfather been of the ability and proper mentality to do so, he would have beaten the living tar out of me for not stepping in before now...he passed on this previous summer, from a long, drawn out sickness called Pick's Disease...not much is known about it, but it took almost 10 years for it to finally take him from us...

the family that i find virtually worthless is my step-dad's family back east...if you put them out here in Montana with me for a week-long trip in the back country, i'd probably hafta carry all of them out on my back, or go get horses to get them out...turn them loose 1/2 an hour from town, and they MIGHT find their way back to town...take them away from the main roads and they wouldn't know where to go or what to do...in my mind, worthless...

MontanaFord

 

If your brother was living without heat I would have bought him an axe and showed him how to chop down a tree.

 

How can one hold an axe with hand in pocket......"Can't help ya bud"

 

My brother-in-law's younger brother has to be about the most useless individual I've ever met. I haven't seen him for about six years, my bro-in-law hadn't seen him for about three, but he suddenly popped back in a couple of months ago. He's getting death threats (probably deservedly so) from his wife's brother. This guy is so anti-social, sadistic, and just plain mean that he makes instant enemies wherever he goes, I could tell you stories, but the guidelines of this forum would prohibit most of them! The only good thing about him is that he takes the focus off of me! Otherwise, I would be the most undesirable family member! -TD

 

It's hard to do but do not be an enabler. Stop helping him. Why should he have to work or be responsible if somebody else will take of him. He will and is taking advantage of you. I have been in the same boat you are in. It's hard but make him get a life.

 

I did the next best thing. I bought all the pipe he needed to get the wood stove hooked up in his house. Everything else up to him right now.

 

Geeze Parks . . . I wouldn't get a job either if I had a brother to buy things for me. I've got deadbeat in-laws but all my blood relatives are good hard workers. All I can say is STOP HELPING him with this stuff. He's never gonna figure it out if people are always giving him $$ and doing stuff for him. From the sounds of it he may not figure it out anyway. Sucks to have someone like that in the family.

 

Yeah I know. I have 2 close members that are like that. My brother & a aunt.
But I reserved a moving truck last night & am planning on leaving Feb. 26th.

Going to Chattanooga to rent out my Sister's house. My mother will be going to & will be living there & I'll be paying all the bills. I don't mind my mother moooching off of me, heck she gave birth to me so I owe her everything I have.

 

my uncle couldn't take care of himself too good. he fell off his bike and started talking to the TV one day. his parents didn't want to admit anything was wrong with him so nobody said anything when he stopped going to school and started drinking

he couldn't hold down a job either. he was a hard worker but he's the kind of guy will go for a beer at lunch and forget to go back to work. my grandparents got him an apartment and he lived off disability his whole life. i guess you could call him a bum but he wasn't bad in a way that he'd ever steal or hurt someone. people thought he was slow cuz he had a speech problem.

you couldn't trust him with anything. he'd wreck the car, pop your new speakers. but you ask him to look after your dog for a few months and he would. he would feed the dog whatever he was eating and take him all kinds of places, dog would gain 20 pounds and not want to come back to live with you.

then one day he killed himself.. no idea why

looking back on him i think i'm lucky i can pay my mortgage and keep my car going

and my girlfriend she puts up with me.. and she packs my lunch, fixes my coffee and makes sure i get my *** out of bed and go to work every morning

i don't even want to think about all those people who are a little off from drinking too much or went thru god knows what as kids or fighting in a war and end up living in a cardboard box cuz they lost their job, missed the rent and their family couldn't be bothered to look out for them or just take the bottle out of their hand

 

Keep her. It is hard to find a Woman to make you a cup a coffee any more let alone all the stuff you listed.


Alcoholism is in most of my family & let me tell you from experience. You can try to help them all you want. You can take the bottle away anytime. But if they are not willing to help themselves, that bottle will quickly be replaced with another & a relative will be mad at you for taking the first bottle away.