These five old school buddies met at a bar once a month and got pretty drunk. One of the five was always a designated driver. This last month the designated driver had to work late and didn't pick his buddies up, so they drove to the bar themselves.

When the designated driver got off work he drove right to the bar and found all his friends. About 15 minutes before last call, this guy leaves the bar staggering. He hops into his truck and weaves his way down the block. The Cop that was waiting for a DUI customer follows him. The guy drives about one half of the speed limit and wanders from lane marker to lane marker but never crosses the line. After watching him for a while, the Cop pulls him over and find him cold sober and asks what's going on.

He explains that he was the designated driver for the evening but was forced to work late and couldn't pick his buddies up, then they reassigned him to designated decoy.



\

Note to all Weenies: It's a joke, I don't suggest people drive after dringing, don't email me.

 

Drinking and Driving is a bad thing..you would hate to hit a bump and spill your beer.
Lisa

 

Thank You, someone with a sense of humor. I'm PC'd up to here (Gesturing)

 

I don't drink and drive. It's too hard to see over the bottle that way and I don't want to hit anything and waste any. I agree with you!... j/k!


Thanx!
Connie (only Ford luvr in the family!)

'79 f100 "Silver Ghost" (my baby)
'83 f100 "The Ford" (my first)
'85 f150 "Old Blue" (my next project)

 

>
>Drinking and Driving is a bad thing..you would hate to hit a
>bump and spill your beer.
>Lisa

I hate it when I do that. The beer is always so cold in my lap.

 

>>
>>Drinking and Driving is a bad thing..you would hate to hit a
>>bump and spill your beer.
>>Lisa
>
>I hate it when I do that. The beer is always so cold in my
>lap.

Thats how beer nuts were invented!

 

A man walks into a bar...

...he receives 4 stitches....

 

>A man walks into a bar...
>
>...he receives 4 stitches....

I had to ask my wife to come over and see if she understand what you said Ken. Now, I get it.

 

>I hate it when I do that. The beer is always so cold in my
>lap.
>

Look at it this way it's better than spilled coffee.





Wiz

[link:www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html|"Wiz's Place"]

 

>A man walks into a bar...
>
>...he receives 4 stitches....


Two guys walk into a bar....
Third guy ducks.

 

Keeping in the Bar Spirit -


Two men sit drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building.

One turns to the other and says:

"You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window."

The bartender over hears this, shakes his head, and continues wiping down the bar.

The 2nd Man says:

"What are you, a nut? There is no way in hell that could happen!"

The 1st Man says:

"No, it's true, let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens toward the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around The building and back into the 10th floor window, where he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

The 2nd Man says:

"You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but it must have been a one-time fluke."

The 1st Man says:

"No, it isn't. I'll prove it again!" And again he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window.

When he gets back upstairs, the 2nd man is excited.

"Geez, do you think that would work for me?"

"Why not," says the 1st man.

The 2nd Man says:

"Well, what the hell, if it works, I could make some serious money with this." He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the
11th...10th...9th...and hits the sidewalk with a splat.

Back upstairs, the bartender turns to the other drinker and says:

"You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."

 

Horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

 

Alcohol & Calculus


Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

H. Wolter.



Dennis

[i]F.T.E. Assistant Administrator

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A priest, a rabbi, and George Bush walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?"


You're welcome

XXL