guys rules
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Freshman User
Joined: Jun 2004
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guys rules
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the
guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are
our rules!
Please note...
these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the
guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are
our rules!
Please note...
these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Elder User
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 935
Likes: 0
From: TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!
so what the heck is mauve? sounds like a city in europe somewhere.
here's a couple
1. Yes my truck is loud, and yes l like it.
and
1. if my truck breaks down, and it won't, but on the off chance it does i will fix it. NO ONE BUT ME TOUCHES MY TRUCK!
here's a couple
1. Yes my truck is loud, and yes l like it.
and
1. if my truck breaks down, and it won't, but on the off chance it does i will fix it. NO ONE BUT ME TOUCHES MY TRUCK!
Elder User
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 723
Likes: 0
From: Lolo Montana
Now I will print this and attach it to the bathroom (office) door. If you do not hear from me with in a couple of days, don't bother sending out a search party. There will not be enough of me to find.
Clouth, you may have just killed a fellow FTE member. But I will do what needs to be done for the good of man. If I'm lucky, maybe I will only get a spanking.
Tom
Clouth, you may have just killed a fellow FTE member. But I will do what needs to be done for the good of man. If I'm lucky, maybe I will only get a spanking.
Tom
Still kicking!!
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6,061
Likes: 6
From: Kalispell, Mt.
Don't let Tom fool you.... he's a giant. But then again... hell hath seen no fury like that of a woman scorned.
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Fleet Mechanic
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,448
Likes: 2
From: CA Central Coast
I move that Clouth be immediately crowned a Posting Guru...or at least a couple of levels anyway.
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Elder User
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 544
Likes: 0
have you guys noticed that no women are responding to this thread? did we scare you? most of these are true, all of these are funny, some of these are both. i think that the attitude of the women reading this thread is, "go ahead and make your little list. we think it's cute that you think that you get rules. dont you know that women can change the rules any time they want?"
sorry dudes, but they have the @#$%^. therefore, they have all the power. when a man is wrong; he is wrong. when a woman is wrong she has only changed her mind.
sorry dudes, but they have the @#$%^. therefore, they have all the power. when a man is wrong; he is wrong. when a woman is wrong she has only changed her mind.
The Pacifier
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,245
Likes: 7
From: Cloverdale, BC
Originally Posted by matt77F2504x4
when a man is wrong; he is wrong. when a woman is wrong she has only changed her mind.
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