Employee Evaluations...
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Junior User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 56
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From: Boise, ID
Employee Evaluations...
My boss found these and passed them along to me...should I be worried that he thought about me while reading them.....?
Hope you laugh,
M^3
Excerpts from Federal Government Employee Performance Evaluations…..
- “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig.”
- “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
- “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t-be”
- “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
- “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
- “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
- “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
- “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
- “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
- “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.”
- “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”
- “A gross ignoramus…144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
- “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
- “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
- “He’s been working with glue too much.”
- “He would argue with a signpost.”
- “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
- “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
- “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
- “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
- “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”
- “Donated his brain to science before he was through using it.”
- “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain’t coming.”
- “He’s got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
- “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
- “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
- “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
- “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
Hope you laugh,
M^3
Excerpts from Federal Government Employee Performance Evaluations…..
- “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig.”
- “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
- “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t-be”
- “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
- “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
- “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
- “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
- “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
- “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
- “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.”
- “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”
- “A gross ignoramus…144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
- “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
- “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
- “He’s been working with glue too much.”
- “He would argue with a signpost.”
- “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
- “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
- “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
- “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
- “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”
- “Donated his brain to science before he was through using it.”
- “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain’t coming.”
- “He’s got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
- “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
- “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
- “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
- “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
Thread Starter
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Junior User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 56
Likes: 0
From: Boise, ID
Originally Posted by Mike W
Hmmmn......are you a Fed? 
I'm just kiddin'......
No, not a Fed...not even close....
By way of explination, these were just a joke we got faxed and got a good chuckle out of...
Last edited by MadManMatt; Jul 29, 2004 at 10:30 AM.
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